Yesterday's Run - Livestock

Report:
Not exactly how I wanted to get my run in but I stuck to the route I had planned from last night and managed to eek out the time to get it done. Woohoo!

I started prepping for last night's run and, well, had some family speed bumps. Once those were smoothed over, I ended up with a booked morning with no chance to run my desired route without being terribly late to work. So I managed to get in early and take a long lunch. Thanks to peer pressure from Twitter, I was held accountable and did get my run in as planned, just later in the day. Which was probably better anyway since it was damn cold this morning and only sort-of cold this afternoon.

So as I sit here shirtless and sweaty from my shower, I realize I managed to pound out a run longer than I needed for the day. I'm aiming for 30+ miles this week and I know I need at least 5 miles for 4 days plus my half marathon race this weekend to meet my goal. And seeing as I can't stick to a plan worth shit, I think I'm going to have to try the weekly total method for a few weeks to see how that holds up.

Anyway, the run was fairly uneventful. Seeing as I live in the ass-end of the sticks, I didn't have much traffic on the gravel road and only a few cars on the paved portion. I did manage to score a WTF look from an old lady and the termite guy at her house. Can't say as I blame them. I'm sure I looked pretty damn sketchy.

Weather:
Temps were about 45F. Overcast skies with a hint of sun. Winds were moderate and shifting.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was water, yogurt, eggs, toast, and coffee. I took a little shot of Hammer Gel before the run. I ran with two bottles of Hammer Fizz (one grape and one lemon-lime). I also downed some Hammer Gel during the run (at about 30 minute intervals). Recovery was two small bottles of Ensure and a coffee.

Aches and Pains:
My right knee started to ache in the last mile but I think this was because I was over-striding in an effort to increase my speed. The early miles were also rough but just in a general sense. After I warmed up, around mile 3 or so, I felt pretty good and near mile 5 I felt like I was settling into a solid groove. Around mile 7 I feel like I lost the groove as I made the transition to pavement but I still kept fighting to get back into it.

Gear:
Wore my Brooks vest and I'm starting to really love it. Keeps me warm yet cool. The vent in the back lets air flow through if I unzip up front but not too cool when I zip it up. It also has a nice loop for my iPod headphone cable. I listened to a 3NonJogger podcast on the way out and music on the way back. Outside of that, no special gear.

Codename - Livestock
Like I said before, I live in the sticks. Some roads are more like the ass-end of the sticks. So running by a cow or two or four goats or a horse or two deer carcases is nothing new or exciting. Seeing deer stands every mile, beer cans every 100 yards, and rusty pickup trucks is the norm.

Splits:
Outbound - 46:07
Inbound - 44:16
Finish - 1:30:24 (PR for this route by about a minute)

Yesterday's Run - 25 to Life

Report:
Even though I slept in a bit longer than I wanted to (and way less than I wanted to) I still managed to get in a 2 hour run. I didn't go as far as I wanted to distance-wise but feel pretty good with my total mileage for the week. The trails wreaked havoc on my quads but I think I'll survive. I need to go heavy on the hills between now and the HAT 50k and the trails at Caledon were happy to oblige.

The run was a basic loop of the Red-Blue-Yellow-Orange-White trails where I went out to the white trail and then came back. My first loop was to the right (counter-clockwise) and the second loop was in reverse. My last loop was just the red loop which was thankfully pretty flat. As I started my second loop I saw a runner take off in front of me with his dog but that was about all I saw of him. I was pretty pooped by then and he was fresh so I let him go (like I had a choice - ha!). I did see his dog leave some tracks on one of the boardwalks as it came out of the creek and onto the planks. Outside of that, I was all alone out there (although I did see plenty of squirrels).

Weather:
Temps were about 38F. Winds were variable, at times light and at times nothing. Skies were overcast.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was coffee and yogurt. During the run I had two handhelds. My first loop I drank about half a bottle of Hammer Perpeteum and nearly a full bottle of Hammer Fizz. My second loop was nearly the rest of my Perpeteum and nearly another full bottle of Fizz. My last loop (just a mile) was the rest of the Perpeteum and Fizz (which wasn't much). Recovery was Hammer Recoverite followed by a lunch of meatloaf, green beans, and an apple turnover.

Gear:
Wore my Smartwool socks again and they feel loose on the foot. But I was wearing my Saucony Peregrines so I'm not sure how that impacted things. Outside of that, not really any other special gear. Just noticed this will be the last 10 miles on this pair of Peregrines. Time to retire yet another shoe.

Aches and Pains:
I am quickly developing a sensitivity to the more narrow shoes from Saucony. I guess I'm really starting to dig my Altras. I also had toenails in need of a trim. All of this, combined with steep hills going up and down and I was feeling some sore toes by the start of the second loop. My quads were also sore by the end of the second loop.

Codename - 25 to Life
Sometimes Eminem speaks to me. Speaks. To. Me.



Splits:
Loop 1 (4.3 miles) - 55:34
Aid Station - 1:50
Loop 2 (4.3 miles) - 53:49
Loop 3 (1 mile) - 14:05
Finish - 2:05:20

Yesterday's Run - Brunch Run

Report:
I put the run in brunch today. Ate breakfast, waited an hour, and promptly went for a run. My wife wasn't too please but I did what I could to get something on the books.

Weather:
Temps were about 35F at the start but warmed quickly to 40F.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was yogurt, oatmeal, toast, eggs, and coffee. During the run I had a bottle of GU Brew. Recovery was a small bottle of Ensure.

Aches and Pains:
My stomach felt okay but heavy. Beyond that, everything felt fine.

Gear:
Nothing terribly exciting. Wore my UnderArmour pants/leggings and they did a great job keeping me warm. Although my butt felt chilly at the start.

Codename - Brunch Run
I usually wait 2 or more hours after a meal to eat but in this case I knew I'd be out of time before I was actually on the road so I booked it out the door while I could. And even though my wife was worried I'd be late and make us late for our usual day of grocery shopping, it turns out I got back while she still had a good 5 minutes left in the shower. Figures.

Splits:
Outbound - 20:27
Inbound - 18:47 (awesome negative split)
Finish - 39:14 (a new almost-PR - now my second fastest time on this route)

Yesterday's Second Run - Schwing!

Report:
Huge difference in this morning's run and this afternoon's run. Maybe it was the music. Maybe it was the rain. Maybe it was just getting so fed up with all the shit flowing downhill that I decided to just DAM IT! and go run. And thus did the shitty waters recede as I blew a hole in the damn dam.

Okay, enough crappy humor. The run was a last minute thought. I cranked some music, got in the mood, and decided to just gun it out the door. Yanked on new socks, changed clothes, and ran into the rain. There were a ton of black birds (Starlings I think) flapping around the trees around me but beyond that, things were pretty quiet. Although I did feel a bit of pleasure as I passed the scary dog's house and made it a good quarter mile down the road before he saw me and charged the fence.

Weather:
Temps were about 50F to 55F. It rained but nothing too terrible. It felt fitting considering my pissed off mood from this morning. Overcast skies. Wind picked up on the inbound leg.

Fluids and Fuel:
This was a lunch-time run so there was no food prior to the run. I did take some Hammer Gel before I started. I took one bottle of watered-down GU Brew. Recovery was one Hammer Soy packet mixed into an iced coffee.

Aches and Pains:
No real issues.

Gear:
Wore my Saucony jacket to keep my iPod dry. It kept me warm and quite sweaty by the end of the run. Also wore my new Smartwool socks. So far no issues with blisters.

Codename - Schwing!
Thanks to Royanna H. I nearly went commando on this run. Instead I opted to wear my RUEZ underwear. And then I thought about all those ladies running commando. Combine that with watching the opening scenes of Wayne's World and I had the ladies on my brain. And the brooding anger from this morning.

Splits:
Outbound - 20:07
Inbound - 19:30 (pushed hard in the last quarter mile to finish with a negative split)
Finish - 39:38 (my PR for this route is 38:44 which makes today's run my second fastest time)

Yesterday's Run - John in the John

Report:
After my workout with Stephanie, I tried my best to go run a short 3 miles. I barely managed 1 mile. My quads were trashed and I felt disappointed because I felt like I didn't do that much in the workout to tax them so much. But knowing Stephanie, she snuck some stuff in there that sneaks up on you and lays you flat by the end of the hour.

So I managed a single mile. Talked a few minutes with my running buddy Amanda and spent lots of time in the gym when I was done stretching out and cooling down. Of course it helped that there was lots, and I mean LOTS, of eye candy to avoid eye contact with. I swear I couldn't turn around without seeing something. Come on ladies. Wear some nasty sweats to the gym, please. And granny-panties, not thongs.

Weather:
Temps were about 45F to 50F. Cloudy skies. No wind. Sprinkled a bit of rain but not much.

Fluids and Fuel:
Just a bottle of water. Recovery was breakfast burrito, hash browns, and an iced latte.

Aches and Pains:
Not really any to speak of.

Gear:
Nothing fancy but I did forget my running water bottles at home so I had to suffer holding a bike-style bottle with no strap. Yuck.

Codename - John in the John
Right before I headed outside to run a little boy pulled up next to me in the bathroom of the locker room. Being a parent, I've lost a lot of my bladder shy moments as well as expectations of privacy. So when he asked what my name was, I knew I was in for an interesting few moments. The conversation went like this:

"What's your name?"
"Neil."
"Guess what my name is."
"Mmm....John."
"How did you know my name was John?"
"Is that really your name?"
"Yes."
"Wow. I just guessed."
"But how did you know?"
"I didn't. I just guessed."
"Do you know what my mom's name is?"
"No."
"Guess. It starts with an 'M'."
"Margaret."
And then he ran off since he was done. And how did I know his name was John? I didn't. I just guessed "John" because we were in the "john." Thankfully I knew well enough not to guess "Dick."

Splits:
Mile 1 - 10:22
Finish - 10:22

Today's Workout - Bad Dreams

Report:
Last night was, well, shitty. And this morning was even worse. Despite my self-loathing and epic levels of anger, I dragged my sorry ass out of bed and out the door early enough to stop at the dump before meeting my trainer.

And leave it to Stephanie to beat the shit out of me all with a smile on her face. So hard to be pissed off around her since she's so damn chipper in the morning. Not obnoxiously chipper, but happy enough to have some seep into your pores while you sweat. No TRX today but there as plenty of other stuff for me to suffer through. I don't know why I struggled with some of the core work but I did. For some reason I just cannot put my ass on the BOSU and do a crunch of any sort.

Weather:
Indoors.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was a glass of water and a yogurt. I did my best to pretend my coffee-flavored yogurt was real coffee. It didn't work.

Aches and Pains:
My quads were screaming after this workout. Lots of lunges and squats were hidden behind upper-body work but by the end I was ready to cry uncle.

Gear:
Nothing worth mentioning.

Codename - Bad Dreams
My crappy morning ended with me waking up in a panic because I thought I was invited by Steve S. to attend a seminar he would be holding on nutrition for ultra runs. It was a special event where he hosted a select few runners at his house while he sermonized about Hammer and went on training runs. Why was this scary? Partly because it conflicted with a race I have in a few weeks and partly because I was so intimidated/honored to even be invited. Yeah, bad dream. Bad because I was terrified I would be out of my league. Dream because I'd love to learn what any ultra runner has to teach.

Yesterday's Run - Delayed Reaction

Report:
I'm way late in getting this posted but hey, life happens. Went for a run this morning and just tried to stay cool and relaxed. Somewhere along the way I think I tried too hard and ended up pretty tight and tense by the time I got back to the gym. Outside of that, it was a decent run. Nothing terribly exciting. Although it was nice to get back to my old haunts for running. I know it's an easy 3 and the route is flat but I needed the miles and needed to just chill. After the run I hit the gym for a few minutes. But that's another post.

Weather:
Temps were about 35F, maybe 40F. No wind. Cloudy and no sun.

Fluids and Fuel:
Had a glass of water before the run. Took a bottle of watered down GU Brew on the run. Drank a small bottle of Ensure as a recovery.

Aches and Pains:
None to speak of.

Gear:
No special gear.

Codename - Delayed Reaction
Figures. Whenever I think up a cool name I forget it by the time I post my report. Oh well.

Splits:
Mile 1 - 10:28
Mile 2 - 10:56
Mile 3 - 10:57
Finish - 33:26

Podcast - Mile 22 - Freezing Five

Went out for a chilly, nay cold, nay freezing cold five miler. I felt much more in-tune with my body and my stride. I didn't feel terribly fast until I hit my turn-around but I still felt pretty good. And I didn't have to make any emergency bathroom breaks. As for the contents of this show, I talk a bit about the ICY-8 race from last week, talk about how the 50k is the JV level of ultrarunning, and how I hope to get things done at the HAT 50k. Not to mention the usual rambling about who the hell knows what.

You can listen to the full diatribe here.

Today's Run - Freezing Five

Report:
I picked the Great smiley face even though I'm a bit in between the Great and the Good smiley faces. But anyway, today's run was cold. Freeze-your-nuts-and-your-nose-off cold. But I survived. I played around with some different methods of keeping warm and some worked while others did not. But everything is intact and there appears to be no permanent damage so I'm happy with the results. Can't learn about this crap on race day so you might as well test things out on a training run.

Weather:
Temps were about 20F to 25F. Wind was very, very light. The sun was out but I was running early enough that I didn't actually run in the sun until the last mile or so.

Fluids and Fuel:
Pre-run food was yogurt and water. I took an e-Gel right before I started. During the run I had two bottles of plain water. I experimented a bit and used warm tap water instead of cold water from the fridge. Worked great at keeping my hands warm the first few miles but it was cold enough that the spouts were freezing up by the end of the run. Recovery was oatmeal, toast, eggs, and coffee.

Aches and Pains:
My right hamstring felt fine during the run although I did notice it during the last half. It didn't hurt, but I think I'm hyper-sensitive to it at the moment. Outside of that, the only things that hurt were my fingers and face from the cold.

Gear:
Aside from using warm water in my water bottles, I also tested two new methods of staying warm. First, I put a hand warmer in my shorts. My Under Armour shorts have a little pouch for a cup so I shoved the hand warmer in there. It didn't work. Or at least made no difference that I could tell. My second test was putting Body Glide on my face. It worked fairly well at keeping my face warm and keeping the wind off it a bit.

Codename - Freezing Five
I was running behind on my podcast yet again so I had to record and upload this morning. I feel like a slacker but I'm also hammered with work so there's only so much I can do.

Splits:
Outbound - 29:45
Inbound - 29:20
Finish - 59:06

Today's Workout - Who's The Boss

Report:
Today's session with Stephanie was brutal. Not quite quivering muscles but certainly a lot of struggling to finish the sets. Nearly 90% of today's session was on the TRX, which I have now dubbed the TortuRe eXtreme device. I swear, that thing is nearly as bad as Inquisitor Glotka in Joe Abercrombie's books. It might not inflict any permanent damage but it's worse because it make you do all the inflicting of pain. It's like being forced to hammer your hand flat.

Anyway, I survived. My right hamstring/calf/knee were barking a bit this morning during the session but not too bad. It basically went from a 2/10 to a 3/10 on the pain scale. I spent some extra time focusing on foam rolling and stretching after the workout just to make sure nothing tightened up too much.

Weather:
Indoors.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was half an Ensure and water. Drank plain water during the workout. Recovery was water.

Aches and Pains:
My right hamstring/knee/calf was sore but no sharp pains. My right knee hurt a bit as I was doing single-leg squats. Everything else was just normal workout aches.

Gear:
Nothing special.

Codename - Who's The Boss
I was doing a pull-up/inverted push-up thing on the TRX and Stephanie had just mentioned a few minutes before that each set was going to be 8 of each thing. So I'd do 3 sets of 8 reps. So I did my first set, took a rest break, then started into my second set. And it felt like it was going on forever. Turns out I had placed my feet so that it was a bit easier than the first set and she had decided to make me pay a bit for that. So when I finally said something about not counting (which I rarely do - despite being a compulsive counter), she said oh yeah, I was counting, you were done a long time ago. So as I stop and take a break and silently curse her for making me work more, she said something to the effect of "I just wanted to show you who was the boss. You did 22 in that last set." Holy hell. 22 instead of 8. Needless to say, I counted the rest of my sets after that. And put my feet where they needed to be to make it harder.

Yesterday's Run - Sucks

Report:
This post is extra crappy. Like that one 3NonJoggers episode. You've been warned.

Oh boy. My mind really needed this run more than my body. Which means it was a constant battle against myself. In the end, it was a tie. My mind won because I finished the entire route instead of wimping out after 15 minutes. My body won because I damn near shit myself. Yeah. Turns out running after a lunch of salad and fresh apples is a bad idea. Thank God the road had light traffic and I was wearing gloves.

Aside from the near shit shot in the shorts, the run was a struggle to get my mind past my ICY-8 race. Those Monday morning quarterbacking skills, second guessing, and an insane amount of self doubt have been nagging the shit out of me. And I think the damn race will haunt me until I run it again next year and complete a full 50k. But I made it through the run today so I'm happy to be back in the saddle.

Weather:
Temps were about 55F with a light wind. Sky was clear.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was a breakfast burrito, oatmeal, and an iced latte. Lunch was a salad with salmon, some cookies, and applies with caramel dip. I took an e-Gel right before the run. Ran with a bottle of plain water and a bottle of GU Brew.

Aches and Pains:
Legs were stiff and sore from the race but aside from that nothing too terrible.

Gear:
Had some issues with the routing of my iPod headphone cable but I managed to re-route it during the run.

Codename - Sucks
As I was fighting the prairie dog, I realized this run sucked like a Tijuana hooker giving a vampire a blow job while he vacuumed. Yep, that level of suckage. But I made it.

Splits:
Outbound - 30:27
Inbound - 30:48 (includes taking a dump)
Finish - 1:01:15

Podcast - Mile 21 - Loopy

I'm so loopy and incoherent on this episode, I can't even bring myself to listen to it. Feel free to give it a shot but beware, it may cause a stroke. I recorded it live while I was running the ICY-8 (an 8 hour ultra) and this was my next to last loop. Amazing that I survived another one after this. At least I think I did. I'm not sure. Things are a bit blurry.

Give it a listen here.

Yesterday's Run - No Beer For You

Report:
As usual, I'm going to be verbose and graphic in my race report. So sit back, relax, and wait before you snack.

My morning started at 0400 with my daughter waking me up after I managed to snag maybe 2 hours of sleep. I had some serious pre-race jitters that would NOT go away. Despite this being a not-so-serious race for me, I still wanted to do 50k if not 40 miles. Turns out I barely reached the marathon distance. Anyway, my daughter woke me up after she had a scary dream. So I laid in bed for another half an hour before my alarm went off and I stumbled into the shower. I got dressed and started to prep for my drive when my son decided it was his turn to wake up. So I got him back into bed before hauling my tired butt out the door.

I made a quick stop at the local Sheetz because I couldn't remember if I packed my gloves. I did so I continued on my merry way. Once I neared town, my coffee started to kick in so I used the bathroom at the Wawa before heading over to the local Panera to wait for them to open. I knew I'd need something solid to eat before my long run and a bagel would be safe. I snagged my bagel and headed down the road to Lake Anna State Park.

I arrived just as they started the check-in for runners. On the drive into the park I noticed a nice little skunk rolling around on the shoulder of the road. It must have been a sign that my day would stink. I parked, checked in, got my bag with shirt and bib, then headed back to my car. I hit the bathroom yet again and began to lay out my crap. Not that kind of crap, my running crap. All the junk that I thought I needed but it turns out I didn't need half of it. Not to fulfill any stereotypes, but I totally felt like a woman going on an overnight trip. I had that much crap packed. Seriously, three pairs of shoes? Who the hell does that?

So, my gear was stashed on my blanket for my own personal aid station and I geared up to start my run. They gathered the runners for the pre-race brief and thankfully they went over the course markings because I was too damn tired to remember what color was for what loop. Hell, I didn't even have a map handy. I have no idea what the hell I was thinking. They pulled the virgin ultra runners and gave them a Hawaiian lei before counting us down to start.

We were off over a short quarter mile or so of pavement up a hill. Like a dumbass, I ran. And kept running. My plan was to run a short loop, three long loops, then another short loop. I stuck to my plan for the first loop and tried to settle into a groove. It was bright enough to see but cloudy enough that I didn't need sunglasses. For some reason I thought it would be sunny but I think I saw a hint of the sun just once. Thankfully the rain held off until the very end of the 8 hours. So the first loop, a short one, was okay. There was a nice downhill, a slog of an uphill, and plenty of twists and turns. We got to the split between short and long loops and I made my turn, ran next to the road a bit, ran through a controlled burn (where a lone, tiny pine tree was standing intact that reminded me of the Charlie Brown Christmas tree), then headed through some decent trail. Then there was a slog down and around and up and through that made you feel like you were running in a freaking washing machine. After that section, you came out onto a fire road of sorts that was decent enough but still had some hills to check your speed. I finished my first loop, yelled out my number and "short" and headed for my personal aid station.

I refilled my bottles, stripped my Under Armour thermal shirt off, slapped on arm sleeves, and went back out, this time for a long loop. The short and long loop have the same start and finish but the long loop adds another 3+ miles (the short loop is 4.7 miles and the long loop is 8 miles). I trucked along on the long loop, through some nice gentle downhills, up some short hills, to the power line section. Here I was greeted with some nice steep ups and downs before heading back into the trees for more single-track trails. Somewhere before the power line I tripped on a root and managed to stay upright. I should have rolled to the ground but instinct took over. And I think that single trip is what cost me my goal. Shortly after I finished the power line section, my right hamstring started to hurt. As I progressed through the run, it continually got worse before the pain began to radiate to my calf and my knee. So even though I didn't make my goal distance of 50k or more, even though I'm not happy with my final results, I'm okay with how I did. I'm still in one piece and I'm not in too much pain the day after.

After my second loop, I topped off again and decided to stick with just short loops for the rest of the race. So I did another short loop and finally saw my wonderful crew, Biddi O. waiting for me. She helped me refill my crap, put some KT tape on my hammy, and without knowing it, kept me going. I was seriously thinking about just callign it quits right then and there. But knowing she would be there waiting for me, I knew I had to keep running. She'd beat my ass for wasting her day and for quitting.

So I headed out for another short loop and Biddi met me for the last mile or so and ran in with me. We repeated the process for yet another short loop, but this being my last one, I had no gas left in the tank and ended up walking nearly all of it. I was in a constant state of change on that last loop. One minute I'd be in the dumps ready to quit and the next minute I'd be ready to go for another one. My mind was not all there as I know I talked to Biddi but don't even know what the hell we talked about.

A few random notes from the race. It was great to see Ally S. , Steve S. , and Andy O. before and during the race. While Steve and Andy certainly outgunned me in the running department and Ally wasn't there to crew for me, they always took the time to give me a cheer when they saw me and ask how I was doing. A class act all the way around. I got much the same vibe from fellow racers as they commented on my shirt, bright orange attire, and even my shoes. In stark contrast was the horse riders out on the trail who took the time to give me the evil eye or make snarky comments about how I should use the bridge for people instead of the water crossing for horses. Thankfully not all the horse riders were this rude. Others were quite nice and two ladies even moved to the muddier portion of the trail and made comments about how awesome we were for running. The trail was muddy as shit (and full of horse shit) but was runnable. After a few laps, you knew where to go to avoid the worst of the mud but after a few laps you didn't really care about getting muddy. The race directors told us to run the first loop in one direction then we could change directions if we wanted to. I didn't change directions as I felt the direction of travel was better (in other words, more downhill than uphill, thus making it easier). I was passed many times and while it wasn't depressing like it usually is, it took a bit of navigational aid to do it safely. Runners would come in either direction and I had to keep a constant eye over my shoulder for faster runners coming by me. I figured it was only right to move out of their way when they came flying by.

Weather:
Temps were about 35F to 40F. Cloudy and overcast skies. Light sprinkle on my last lap but steady rain didn't start until the last few minutes of the race.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was a Starbucks Double Espresso and half a bagel. My first lap I ate the second half of the bagel and had a bottle of plain water and a bottle of Hammer Fizz. I also had a bit of Hammer Gel. My second lap I had a bottle of Hammer Fizz, a bottle of plain water, Hammer Gel, and an e-Gel. I ran out of fluids about a mile from the end of the second loop. My third loop I switched to a bottle of Perpeteum mixed with Zico and a bottle of Hammer Fizz. I also tried to squeeze out more Hammer Gel. My fourth lap was another bottle of Perpeteum, this time mixed with Starbucks Double Espresso, and another bottle of Hammer Fizz. My last lap was two bottles of flat soda. The only aid I took from the aid station was three potato chips, a small cup of Coke, and a pirogi (which I didn't eat until I finished running).

Aches and Pains:
The bottom portion of my right hamstring started to hurt during the second loop. It continually got worse as I continued to move. The pain began to spread to the top of my calf and behind my knee. In some of the muddier sections the left side of my knee hurt. The bottoms of my feet hurt but nothing too terrible. My shoulders and the small of my back also began to hurt towards the end.

Gear:
I wore my iPod for my last two loops. I wore my new pair of Altra Lone Peaks for the entire race (fresh out of the box and no blisters!) even though I brought two other pairs of shoes to wear just in case. The Lone Peaks (which I saw on another runner) performed awesomely. No blisters and only one hot spot (the outside edge of the ball of each foot). The only issue I had with them is the difficulty in attaching gaiters to them. I have an idea on how to fix it though, just haven't tried it yet. They did awesomely in the mud with very little sticking to the sides or bottom. I did manage to kick a few rocks in them but only had one that really hurt. And I learned from my last run and gave them a solid cleaning today. My arm sleeves were the biggest surprise performance. When I packed them I figured I'd never need them but when I stripped my thermal layer off after the first lap they did a great job at keeping me warm but not too warm. I had some very minor chafing with my shorts and thought about putting my RUEZ underwear on under them but every time I got back to the finish, I determined it would just take me too damn long to change clothes. They were nice to put on after I had finished running though. I also wore my Brooks vest for the last two laps. I was starting to get colder as I slowed down and had not planned for that. Nor did I plan for chilly weather when I was done running I needed at least two more layers for after the finish and probably should have swapped out my headband for a winter beanie for the last two laps.

Codename - No Beer For You
The race director said at some point during the day that you needed 31.5 miles to earn a pint glass. Which makes sense, that's pretty much 50k. And if I could have squeezed out another short loop, I would have gotten that glass. And even though I really, really wanted to push myself to the max and get in a 50k, I knew that if I pushed too hard and blew out my hamstring I'd be putting next month's HAT 50k at risk. And I didn't want to do that. That's my next A-race and I need to get some more training in. And not just training in running either. I need to work on my aid station technique. I did pretty well in this race with my longest aid being around 10 minutes (when Biddi taped me up). But my shortest was 2 minutes. And I'd guess my average was 3 or 4 minutes. Pretty good but I can do better. And since the HAT run has some cut-offs, I need to trim every second I can only focus on what matters. So I may not have a glass to put my beer in but I have a keg full of knowledge to use later. Oh, and Biddi did bring a "girlie" beer (Stella) for me and I managed to drink half of it. Still tasted like ass but less-so than the last stuff she shared.

Splits:
Like a schmuck, I didn't use my watch like I wanted to so my aid station times and loop times bled together a bit.

Loop 1 (short - 4.7 miles) - 1:01:25 (includes some of my aid station time)
Aid Station 1 - 2:33 (includes some of my Lopp 2 time)
Loop 2 (long - 8 miles) - 1:43:36 (includes Aid Station 2 time)
Aid Station 2 - unknown
Loop 3 (short - 4.7 miles) - 1:09
Aid Station 3 - 8:54 (includes Biddi taping my hamstring)
Loop 4 (short - 4.7 miles) - 1:12:03
Aid Station 4 - 1:52
Loop 5 (short - 4.7 miles) - 1:21:24 (the last 4 miles were all walking)
Finish - 6:40:54 (26.8 miles)

PS - If you look at my Loop 5 split (an hour and 20 minutes) and look at when I stopped running (6 hours and 40 minutes), you may wonder why I didn't go back out and walk another short loop. It's because I thought I didn't have enough time. My mind could NOT do math and I thought I only had an hour left. This haunted me for pretty much my entire drive home but I'm over it because I'm still in one piece. And another side note, when I went to bed last night, my mind was still running. Literally. Every single thought I had would go back to me running on the trail. I'd start thinking a sexy woman and poof, I'm running on the trail. I'd start thinking about driving a fast car and poof, I'm running on the trail. I'd start thinking about rescuing somebody from some dire scenario and poof, I'm running on the trail. I could not turn it off, no matter how hard I tried.

The 7 Deadly Sins

As I was running one day, I began to ponder the seven deadly sins. And how many I suffer from. And how many will kill me.

Envy.Yep. I suffer from this one. I envy those with a better life. More money, more sex, better jobs, better houses, better cars, everything. I envy those people. Not bad enough to do anything too stupid, but I do feel completely incompetent around people that are better than me. And I envy them at the same time.

Gluttony. Are you shitting me? Have you ever seen me eat? I had two servings at dinner tonight. One full serving more than I needed to have. And I'm pretty sure I'll have a snack later tonight too.

Greed. I think I'm greedy to a degree. But I do know that if I were rich, I'd give it all away. Well, not all of it but enough of it to make sure I could live a comfortable life will still improving the lives of those around me.

Lust. Not even going to discuss this one. Too personal. So let's leave it at that.

Pride. I'm extremely proud of my running accomplishments. Proud as a peacock. I love telling people how far I've run. About my past races and future plans. Yes, that's right, I do brag sometimes. But I at least try to humble brag.

Sloth. I'm sitting down for work and for rest. I'm a total couch potato. There are days where I could stay in bed forever. For many reasons. But it's days like that that going to the bathroom are about the only reason I leave the bed.

Wrath. I am spiteful to some degree. I have some extreme thoughts when it comes to people committing certain crimes. Even more so when it comes to punishing stupid, ignorant people.

Isn't low self esteem fun? And so many of these feed off of each other. Gluttony and sloth. Pride and envy. God am I so messed up.

Podcast - Mile 20 - Across The 8-Tracks

In this episode, I cross the tracks. As in, I've now put 20 episodes out there into the wild and have yet to hear from anyone. And I'm okay with that. As I reveal more and more of my personal life, I think I'd prefer to remain anonymous. Although becoming ultra-famous does sound appealing.

Anyway, this episode covers two main topics. First, the movie Across The Tracks staring Brad Pitt and Rick Schroder. It was a decent movie but was pretty interesting to watch as a fan of running. My amateur analysis tells me that Schroder can't run but Pitt can. Second, I worry about my upcoming race, the ICY-8. It's an 8 hour ultra and some big dogs are coming to town. Specifically Steve Spiers and Andy O'Brien. While both are supremely nice guys, they will grind you into the ground when you compete against them.

So there you have it. I know I'm late in getting this episode out but work is, well, work. And with my race coming up on Saturday, I've been shitting bricks. So just hang with me while I stick it out.

Give it a listen here.

Yesterday's Run - Numb

Report:
Felt super sluggish for this run but I knew it needed to be done. The weather was great but man did it get hot. Scary to think that 60 some degrees is hot but when you're used to running in weather cold enough to freeze your kibbles-n-bits, anything over 50 is hot. My legs, back, and just about everything else were about as flat as Nebraska.

Weather:
Temps were about 60F to 65F. Wind was moderate. Sun was out in full.

Fluids and Fuel:
This was a lunch-time run. Breakfast was an egg, toast, coffee, and yogurt. I had a few glasses of water after that. First lunch was salad. During the run I had one Hammer Gel and one bottle of Hammer Fizz (way under-hydrated based on the temps). Recovery was spinach and artichoke dip with bread and an orange soda (no caffeine).

Aches and Pains:
Everything was unhappy today. Legs, back, arms. Pretty much just felt blah. No sharp pains though.

Gear:
Wore my Hammer visor for the first time and it barely fits (I have a huge head). Will also be the last run in these particular Kinvaras.

Codename - Numb
Yet another numb run. Just didn't feel much of anything. Meh.

Splits:
Outbound - 20:14
Inbound - 20:22
Finish - 40:36

Yesterday's Run - Weight, What?

Report:
Today was a nice and brutal run with Kris D. We set up a run "date" and planned on anything greater than 13. Turns out she's never done anything longer than a half marathon. So I was happy to oblige and we ended up cracking out 16+ miles. We started at the usual meeting spot at mile marker 4, ran down to mile marker 8, came back for a quick pit stop, then headed down to mile marker 0 and back. All in all, 16 miles and a good half mile or so on the bypass made for a solid run.

We chatted here and there, mostly early on in the run, but has sporadic conversations as we moved along. You never know when you run with people if they like to talk or not. I know with Biddi W. you can make her slow down by getting her to talk. And I know Catherine loves to talk. With Kris, it was a bit of both. Talking slowed her down a bit but at the end I think it kept her going a bit too. I could sense we were both slowing down but talking seemed to ease some of the pain and distracted us (well, me at least) enough to finish strong.

The trail was it's usual self with plenty of rocks, pine needles, and everything in between. We saw a couple out walking their dog and three deer. Aside from that, it was pretty quiet out there!

Weather:
Temps started out around 35F but warmed up quickly into the 40s and topped out around 47F by the end. The sun was out in full. Had a slight breeze that wasn't too bad.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was coffee, eggs, toast, and yogurt. I took an e-Gel before starting the run and a second one at mile 4. The first 8 miles I took my hydration pack and had a bottle of Hammer Fizz. I finished the bottle but still had a ton of water left in my pack. At mile 8 I ate a Honey Stinger Waffle and half a bottle of water to wash it down. For the next 8 miles I had a bottle of Hammer Fizz and another bottle of Hammer Perpeteum mixed with coffee instead of water.

Gear:
I wore my cycling jersey over my Under Armour shirt. Turns out I could have done without the thermal layer but I'm still glad I had it. I wore my gloves for the first 4 miles and put them back on for the last 8 miles. I also ditched my hat at mile 4 and stuck with my headband. I wore my Nathan Hydration pack for the first 8 miles then ditched it to run with just my handhelds for the last 8 miles. Aside from that, didn't really have any other special gear on me.

Aches and Pains:
My right calf started to cramp up a bit around mile 8. My left hip started to hurt around mile 10. The ball on my left foot started to hurt around mile 10 as well.

Codename - Weight, What?
So I rarely disclose everything I talk about with others during a run. It's like Vegas and Des Moines, what's said on the run, stays on the run. And while Kris and I didn't exactly share our deepest, darkest secrets with each other, there were a few conversations that should stay on the run. But I have to say, when we started talking about weight (hers, mine, and that of others), I damn near tripped. She told me how much she weighed and I swear she had to be lying. I could have sworn she was 20 pounds lighter. And even if I was a poor judge of weight, she had to be at least 10 pounds lighter. So keep that in mind Batman. If you ever need to whisk her to safety with your Batpulley, she claims to be heavier than she looks.

Splits:
Mile 1 - 10:38
Mile 2 - 11:10
Mile 3 - 13:42 (includes gun range bypass)
Mile 4 - 11:25
Mile 5 - 12:36 (includes my pee break)
Mile 6 - 13:38 (includes gun range bypass)
Mile 7 - 11:28
Mile 8 - 11:29
Aid Station - 3:25
Mile 9 - 10:38
Mile 10 - 11:37
Mile 11 - 11:43
Mile 12 - 11:45
Mile 13 - 11:51
Mile 14 - 12:07
Mile 15 - 12:26
Mile 16 - 11:52
Finish - 3:13:37

Podcast - Mile 19

Feel free to waste a few minutes listening to me talk in my latest podcast installment. Yadda yadda yadda.

Today's Run - Cautiously Optimistic

Report:
The bad news is that I had another SOUR run. The good news is that I had another sour RUN. See the change in emphasis? Yeah. That's about where I am today. Work killed me last week and isn't going to do me any favors until mid-April. But it puts food on the table and affords me a flexible schedule. So I'll try not to complain too much. As expected, I didn't want to run this morning but I forced myself out the door. Thankfully I didn't roll my fat ass back into bed. Thankfully I fit my fat ass into some Large tights. I mean, these things say Large but I think they're for guys built like a Large fucking twig and the label should really read Smallish-Medium. But I smuggled my grapes in there and even managed to keep all the seam intact during my run. Probably because I didn't have to bend over or anything.

So I cruised down the road in the pre-dawn light wondering if I'd ever want to run again. Still don't have that answer. Well, that's not true, I do want to run. I just can't motivate myself to put down the bag of chips and get outside. And seeing as I've been fighting this feeling for a good week or more, I feel even worse because of all the weight (real or imaginary) that I've put on.

Anyway, enough of the pity party. The run. I ditched a bottle about a half mile from home and would pick it up on the way back. I over dressed for the slightly warmer weather. I was literally chased by a dog. Sort of. Dog 1 and Dog 2 barked at me from a porch that was a good 6 feet off the ground. Thinking I was safe, I ignored them. Until I here clinking behind me and Dog 1 was at my heels. Not nipping but certainly showing some interest. Guess I stunk too bad since he didn't chase me more than a few steps. Dogs 3, 4, and 5 gave a solid go at barking but no chasing. Was passed by many people going to and from work. Even got a "look out" as I was making my return trip up the massive hill. Coming out of the gully, there's a few blind turns and a blind hill and a single lane wooden bridge that all add up to a scary drive if you go too fast. And what comes up behind me? A bus. The kid at the stop just ahead of me gave me fair warning though that a car was coming the other way so I safely jumped the ditch onto the berm. I got a few more strides up the hill until two more cars came down. This time there was no berm but I had a rock that was perfectly placed. Phew! Aside from not getting creamed, I was happy to be able to run up both hills without stopping. Whee!

After that, I snagged my bottle and went home for a shower and some breakfast.

Weather:
Temps were about 45F. No sun. Heavy clouds. Heavy humidity. No fog but it was murky enough to make you think there was some.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was a yogurt and water. During the run I had two bottles of GU Brew. I finished a little more than one by the end. Recovery was oatmeal, eggs, toast, and coffee with a hint of Ensure.

Gear:
Wore my Petzl MYO RXPheadlamp this morning with a RoadID Firefly light on the back. The headlamp straps rub the tops of my ears a bit so it may be annoying if I had to wear it for a long period of time. I also wore my super-small Large tights which thankfully stayed intact. I wore my Brooks vest, which continues to prove itself as a viable layer in the cold. No iPod this morning as I wanted to go a bit naked.

Aches and Pains:
Not really any to speak of. Had a few small rocks in my shoes but nothing I couldn't ignore. My back is a bit stiff after the run but I think that's just from sitting too damn long at work and not using my log roller.

Codename - Cautiously Optimistic
Rarely am I optimistic. In fact, many consider me pessimistic. In reality, I'm realistically pessimistic about my optimism. As in I plan for the worst while I hope for the best. So as I showered today I felt just the fringes of hope. Just a glimmer of a shadow that there may be happy times ahead. Maybe. Hopefully. Who knows. Maybe I just stood in the hot water too long and cooked my brain.

Splits:
Outbound - 20:51
Inbound - 20:28
Finish - 41:19

Yesterday's Run - Hubba Hubba

Report:
After my session with Stephanie, I headed over to the Y. I knew I'd have plenty of time before work started so I headed out for a run. It was the first since my disaster of a run last Sunday. I hate to taper before a race but I think after Sunday's run I needed a break. My mind was so far from the game I needed to go watch something else. Anyway, I headed out into the frigid air with plans of running a few laps on the 5k loop. Turns out I did better than I expected.

My first lap was a regular loop. I had to stop about a half mile into the run to put my balaclava on since I was insanely cold. I then headed out for a regular run on my old stomping grounds. After the first lap, I made a quick pitstop for the bathroom and a water refill. I headed back out for an altered lap and ran four miles instead of the standard three. I also needed another bathroom break halfway through. I then made another stop to refill my bottle again and headed back out for yet another lap, this time just a regular 5k. I had a bit of a head start on the group run class, which turned out for the best since Chatty Kathy dude was there. Never before have I been so glad that somebody runs faster than me. After this lap, I was done.

Almost. I headed into the gym and stretched out before doing my push-ups from yesterday. I've been trying to stick to the 100 push-up plan again but keep forgetting despite the reminders I set for myself. Oh, and I realize why I prefer to run outside. Yes, the treadmill is insanely boring. But I think the real reason is all the eye candy in there. What the hell ladies?! Put some slobby clothes on, please! It's too easy to undress you with my eyes.

Weather:
Temps started at about 27F then got to a whopping 35F by the end. Except the last lap had some stronger winds, which I'm sure kicked in the windchill to drop the temps. Sun was out along with a few clouds.

Fluids and Fuel:
No recovery drink after my workout with Stephanie. Started my run with a bottle of Hammer Perpeteum and another bottle of Hammer Fizz (grape). The grape flavor was great in the Fizz. The Perpeteum was beyond the ideal shelf life (it was about 4 days old but was kept in the fridge). Both appeared to work great through the entire run. After the first lap, I had half a bottle of each left so I topped them off with water (thus diluting them more). After the second lap, I had finished my Fizz and topped off my Perpeteum bottle (diluting it even more). I finished that by the end of the third lap. Recovery was an iced latte, fish sub, and jalapeno poppers.

Aches and Pains:
Nothing really hurt but my quads were tired. One minor update. After my run, I hit the showers since it was absolutely necessary to clean the funk of 3 hours off me. It wasn't until then that I discovered a new level of pain. I've suffered from Monkey Butt before and have learned to treat it with Body Glide or other methods. Today, I suffered from Monkey Nutt. Ow ow ow.

Gear:
Wore my Brooks vest and took my iPod along. Listened to music the entire time. Vest worked great. Also had to switch to my balaclava for the first lap. After that I was able to get by with a regular winter hat.

Codename - Hubba Hubba
Seriously ladies, please look as ugly as you can when you're in the gym. Or at least when you're in my gym. Or at least warn me your smokin' hot ass is going to be squeezed into some tight tights while your top is going to show enough cleavage to make me want to ski the Twin Peaks.

Splits:
Mile 1 - 12:11 (includes equipment adjustment)
Mile 2 - 10:54
Mile 3 - 10:47
Aid Station - 6:16 (includes pee/poo break and water refills)
Mile 4 - 10:13
Mile 5 - 10:57
Mile 6 - 11:28 (includes another pee break)
Mile 7 - 10:44
Mile 7.1 - 1:11
Aid Station - 4:05 (includes water refill)
Mile 8 - 10:20
Mile 9 - 10:51
Mile 10 - 9:56
Mile 10.1 - 1:01
Finish - 2:00:59

Wind Blows

Or should I say "wind sucks?" Guess it depends on which end you're standing.

Anyway, thought I'd share this nugget of fun. A gumball got embedded into one of our pumpkins. I know what you're thinking, and yes, we did leave our pumpkins outside. But we're recycling, right? Beats tossing it in the trash. And yes, the gumball really is stuck into the side of the pumpkin. And that folks, is why I don't like running in the wind. Makes spitting too dangerous.

Podcast - Mile 18

Mom's Trip, the latest podcast episode, is now live. Go over and give it a listen. And if you have any ideas, tips, or cash you'd like to share, we'd appreciate it.

Sunday's Run

Sunrise at the end of the trail (which was actually my halfway point):


Sunday's run sucked shit. It's as simple as that. And before you start patting me on the back and telling me it'll be okay, stop. Just stop. This run sucked because I let it suck. It's all my fault. And no, I'm not just saying that to look for more sympathy. I don't want your sympathy. Seriously. Everything that went wrong during this run was something I caused. Don't believe me? Then keep reading.

First, I didn't get much sleep. Now, in our house, that's pretty much the norm. I'm used to getting up at least once during the night for some reason. My son needs the bathroom. My daughter had a bad dream. My dog needs to go outside. I need to pee. My wife is snoring (sorry sweety, but you do snore sometimes). So while many of those factors are out of my control, it's really up to me to go to bed on time. And I didn't. So I shorted myself on sleep. But I don't think this was really that big of a deal when it came to Sunday's run. In fact, it probably didn't contribute too much of anything to the overall suckiness.

Next, was my shoes. And this was a serious issue. Thankfully, it wasn't the shoe itself. At least I'm pretty sure it wasn't since I've had no issues with my Altra Lone Peaks in the past. No, the issue was after my last run in them, I didn't clean them. So all that mud I ran through the last time came with me this time. Which turned out to be a bad idea. The mud was inside my shoe. And it started rubbing me after 4 or 5 miles. Craptastic. Thankfully I was able to manage the pain and avoid blisters. What a story that would have been; blisters from dry mud.

Then there was my fuel. Another serious issue. I underfueled. Again. Like a dumbass. I had plenty with me and instead of doing what I normally do, I had to get the last little bit. Gah. You see, I bought large bottles of Hammer gel figuring it would save me time and money to just fill my little flasks as needed instead of taking packs of it with me. Turns out the packs are so much easier to use. Squeezing the gel out of the bottles is like squeezing crystallized honey out of that damn bear bottle. So what did I do when I got the last dregs out of the bottle? Added some water to get even more out. Damn penny pincher that I am ended up screwing myself. How so? all my fuel for a good 10 of those miles was seriously diluted. Diluted well beyond what I'm used to and I didn't realize it until it was too late.

There were other minor factors as well. The cold being one. I think I was slightly under-dressed but managed to do okay. It didn't really hit me until I stopped to take some of mud and rocks out of my shoes. That's when I got really cold. Speaking of rocks in my shoes, I didn't take my gaiters. What was I thinking. And I forgot to grab my iPod when I left. And, well, enough of that laundry list.

All of these issues, both big and small, added up. But they didn't stop me from running13+ miles. No, what stopped me was myself. My own negative thinking is really what did it. Could I have kept going another 8 miles? Absolutely. I even had a dropbag in place to help with fueling and fluids. But no, I quit. I literally quit. And that, that is what really pisses me off. Yes, I knew I was going for a long run. I had planned for nearly everything. Everything except the bad thoughts. Those just kept hitting me like a sledgehammer. So I quite. I gave up. I gave in. I caved. I wimped out. I got back to my car, threw my water bottle in disgust and anger, and left.

What have I learned from all of this? The continuing theme that not every run can be a great one. Or even a good one. I learned that not only do we have bad runs but we need bad runs. Yes, that's right, we need them. We need them to help us remember that it isn't always going to be sunny and happy and fun. Sometimes running is work. Sometimes things go wrong. Sometimes we need that smack in the face to remember to respect the distance. To remember that planning can only do so much. To remember to just suck it up and deal with it.

So there you have it. My crappy run form Sunday. I hate them. But it's done. There's a lot of positives I can take away from this run and I'm doing my best to grab at them when I think about them. And I'm slowly getting over myself. I'm just another cog in the wheel of life and I need to remember that I'm doing pretty damn good compared to a lot of others. So excuse me while I go rub some dirt on my ego and find Stella so I can get my groove back.

Medical Update

So I went for my annual physical last week and had positive results from my tests. Not positive like I had a disease, but positive like things were good. I will tell you that I'm not disclosing everything but I will share some of the more important stuff. If it will help inspire people to live a healthier life, then I'm okay sharing. I'll also tell you that my doctor's visits were physical, not mental. I already know I have issue upstairs, I just don't feel ready to ask for help with that. Yet. One thing at a time.

Anyway, my results. First up, my weight, blood pressure, and heart rate. In late December 2009 I went for my regular physical. My weight was 239 pounds. Last week I was down to 231 pounds. I'm not too concerned about that since I was wearing clothes and I don't really consider it my "true" weight. At least that's what I tell myself. My blood pressure back in 2009 was 130/82 and my heart rate was 68 bpm. Last week was 112/74 and my heart rate was 56 bpm. To give you a better view, here's the break down between 2010, 2011, and 2012.

2010
- Weight = 239
- Blood Pressure = 130/82
- Heart Rate = 68

2011
- Weight = 234
- Blood Pressure = 134/80
- Heart Rate = 60

2012
- Weight = 231
- Blood Pressure = 112/74
- Heart Rate = 56

As you can see, slow but steady progress. And it's progress that I'm very happy with. Moving on to the lab results, you'll see the same thing. Progress.

2010
- Bilirubin = 1.6 MG/DL
- Cholesterol = 217 MG/DL
- Triglycerides = 199 MG/DL
- HDL Cholesterol = 33 MG/DL
- LDL Cholesterol = 144 MG/DL

2011
- Bilirubin = 1.2 MG/DL
- Cholesterol = 191 MG/DL
- Triglycerides = 114 MG/DL
- HDL Cholesterol = 41 MG/DL
- LDL Cholesterol = 127 MG/DL

2012
- Bilirubin = 1.2 MG/DL
- Cholesterol = 164 MG/DL
- Triglycerides = 95 MG/DL
- HDL Cholesterol = 41 MG/DL
- LDL Cholesterol = 104 MG/DL

Wow. Look at that Cholesterol. From 217 to 164. The normal range is 125 to 200. Nice. My Triglycerides went from 199 to 95 (normal is under 150). Again, very nice. HDL Cholesterol (that's the healthy one, just remember the "H" is for "H"ealthy) went from 33 to 41. Not a big job but still moving in the right direction (the normal range is 40 or higher). My LDL Cholesterol (normal is under 130) went from 144 to 104. Sweet. Oh, and that Bilirubin number went from 1.6 to 1.2 (normal is 0.2 to 1.2).

Now. None of this was easy. And as you can see, it took me two solid years to get here. I'm sure my numbers were worse prior to late 2009/early 2010 but I don't have those results handy. Now, there are three main factors in how I made such great progress. Diet, exercise, and Mega Red. The diet and exercise are so simple yet so hard. You have to work every day at the exercise and three times a day (often more) at the great diet. It sucks. It's hard. You constantly want to quit and go back to the easy life you had of eating a bag of chips on the couch. But once you see progress, you want to see more. You love seeing the weight drop. You love it more than that bag of chips.

Oh, and the Mega Red? I firmly believe it's responsible for at least half of my improved cholesterol numbers. I didn't start taking it until late 2010/early 2011. And I feel that it works. It's easy to take, it's a small pill, and it doesn't taste or smell like fish. You can read more about it here. Oh, and you can get it at Costco.

So there you have it. Progress made. If at least one of you reads this and is inspired to make progress of your own, I'll be happy. Beyond happy.

Yesterday's Run - Drawing a Blank

Report:
Lunch time run. I was going to take it easy today and catch up on some miscellaneous crap but it turns out the weather was just too nice to ignore. With temps nearing what I'd expect for spring or summer, I opted to go out in shorts, t-shirt, and gloves. The shirt lasted half a mile before it came off. Oh yeah! You missed it ladies, I ran topless. Be thankful. I look like about as pale as Conan O'Brien and as hairy as Zach Galifianakis. Careful there, don't choke on your lunch as you puke it up.

Anyway, it felt awesome to get out there and feel the wind in my hair. Especially when I lifted my arms.

Okay, okay, I'll try not to gross you out too much. The run went well. Nothing terribly exciting other than a few angry dogs and a few people giving me the "what the hell is his problem" stare. Like I said before, I didn't plan on going out but I'm glad I did. Tomorrow's schedule will be a bit hectic so I need to focus on work and other things to make sure I'm squared away before the weekend. Nothing like cramming on Fridays.

Weather:
Temps were about 60F with a slight wind. Sun was out in full with only a few wispy clouds in the sky.

Fluids and Fuel:
I already posted my breakfast in my other workout. I had nothing after that meal except for some water. Right before my run I took an e-Gel. Durin gmy run I had a bottle of NUUN and a bottle of water. I finished both by the end. Recovery was some chocolate ZICO, cheese, and potato chips (healthy, I know).

Gear:
Had to clip my iPod to my shorts as I wasn't wearing a shirt. Seemed to work just fine. Also wore my XL North Face shorts. Seemed to work just as well as my Larges.

Aches and Pains:
Nothing in particular that I can think of.

Codename - Drawing a Blank
I had one, actually two, while I was running but couldn't remember them by the time I got back. Guess I flushed out too many toxins on the run.

Splits:
Outbound - 33:01
Inbound - 33:09
Finish - 1:06:11

Lumberjacks vs. Ultrarunners

Today's assignment class is to compare and contrast lumberjacks and ultrarunners.



As I was chainsawing my way through the woods in my back yard, I began to think about how similar, and dissimilar, these two groups of people are. You see, my nickname is The Lumberjack. That's not actually what I do for a living. If I did, I think I'd last about a month or two before I cut a limb off my own body instead of the tree. I know enough to get myself in trouble. While I'm much better with an axe, I still have a lack of appreciation for just how sharp that axe can be. At least I will until I take a toe off.

I wish I smelled like a man when I ran. Instead I smell like a bear that forgot to wipe.


So as I thought about these two groups of people, I began to realize how much alike they are. They both go out into the woods for hours on end. They both sweat as they toil. They may even drink and eat whatever they feel like to fuel their massive energy needs. Both groups are lean and stringy with muscles and can work for hours upon hours before taking a break. They like to work hard but also like to party hard. They live life to the fullest and don't have time for crap. Both use trees as their bathroom when nature calls.

I really dig these hats. Might need one for my birthday.


Yet these two groups are also entirely different. While ultrarunners tend to be vegetarian or even vegan, lumberjacks tend to eat meat like it's going out of style. While lumberjacks cut down trees and are poorly stereotyped for not caring about the environment, ultrarunners lean the other way and try to preserve the environment they run through and have a bad stereotype of being hippies. Ultrarunners dress in technical fabrics that fit to their form while lumberjacks wear denim and canvas and flannel. Lumberjacks wear big boots with steel toes and ultrarunners were trail shoes with ultra-thin soles. Ultrarunners worry about bears, running out of water, and getting lost. Lumberjacks worry about tree hugging hippies, running out of gas, and spiked trees.

So as you can see, both lumberjacks and ultrarunners share a lot of similarities. And while they may work hard at what they love and bring home small paychecks for their efforts, they are two distinct groups that may not get along well in the local bar.

Today's Run - Morano Mountain

Report:
Today's run is brought to you by my sheer desire to run a new route. And to make use of some free time between doctor's appointments. Now, I could go on and on about how I got two hernia checks in one day but I'll reserve those gory details for my blog.

Meanwhile, after my first appointment this morning, I headed to the local YMCA to ditch my street clothes and head out for a run. It's not my normal Y so I wasn't exactly sure where things happen. Turns out as I was getting ready to head outside, I saw a group of runners (all ladies) getting ready to go on a group run. I asked how far they were going and they said they were doing speed work. Yuck. So I excused myself like a pretentious bitch and left to run by myself. I headed down a very scary road (Smith Station Road for you locals, specifically between the Ron Rosner YMCA and the large neighborhood with the waterfall). A short bit later, I was in a nice subdivision with sidewalks and slow traffic. Whee! I cruised around a bit here and there, tried not to stare in peoples back windows, and generally felt good. I felt slow but it felt good to get outside, even if it was raining and chilly. Once I started to run low on water, I headed back to the Y on the same scary road. Yikes. Rarely to I have to jump into a ditch but I ran a good 40% of this route (in both directions) either in the ditch of well off the road and onto the shoulder.

Anyway, the run was decent and it felt refreshing to do something positive between two doctor's visits. Not that the appointments were bad, they were good actually. But like I said, you'll have to run over to my blog in the near future to get the details.

Weather:
Temps were about 34F. Sky was cloudy with no sun. Winds were light to none. Rain was light, enough to know it was there but not enough to soak you through.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was water and a yogurt. During the run I had one bottle of water. Nothing for recovery immediately after my run but I did have to souffles and an iced mocha from Panera after I showered.

Gear:
I wore my North Face jacket and it did a good job keeping me warm and dry. Maybe a bit too warm but it was chilly out. I also used an old Drymax sock to keep my phone dry just in case the weather turned sour. Sadly, the sock worked better on my phone than on my foot.

Aches and Pains:
Not really any to speak of.

Codename - Moreno Mountain
As I ran outbound from the YMCA, I saw a CD on the ground. I snapped it up. Turns out it was cracked and scratched beyond use but it was Karina Moreno. Yeah. Never heard of her either. So I deposited the disc on the highest point of my run. Feel free to go find it!

Splits:
Splits are from RunKeeper so are subject to some minor errors.
Mile 1 - 10:17
Mile 2 - 10:22
Mile 3 - 12:49 (includes a short walking break)
Mile 4 - 10:42
Finish - 46:24

Video Hilarity

I know it's already made it's way around a few other blogs and websites but it's just too funny to leave it alone. So I'm sharing with you. And yes, I have/do/will think these thoughts.

Today's Run - Trail Head

Report:
Mixed results with today's run. I really, really, really didn't want to run. But I managed to not only get out of bed but also managed to get my running clothes on. So that felt like an accomplishment by itself. As I made it out to the trail, I was sluggish heading out and didn't feel like running much when I was chugging through the first few miles. In fact, it wasn't until I got to the gun range bypass that I started to feel a little excited and a bit more peppy. Maybe it was the single-track. Anyway, as I headed back to my car, I felt better. A little chilly here and there but overall, feeling much better. The last mile felt awesome and I flew back to my car. As I finished, I suddenly had the thought of heading back out for a little more. I had 6.5 in the bag and had 10 planned but knew I wouldn't get the full 10. So I pulled myself back out onto the trail and got 2 more miles in. Score!

Aside from that, the only other excitement during the run was finding a used condom at the trail head (heh heh) and seeing a ton of ATV activity (which isn't allowed). Oh well. Can't do much about it beyond report it to the trail owner.

Weather:
Temps were 35F and barely warmed to 40F by the time I finished. Heavy fog was present even though the sun was out (just not visible). Slight breeze.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was water and a yogurt. Right before the run I took an e-Gel. During the run I had a bottle of Nuun (orange ginger) and a bottle of Gatorade. After the first 6.5 miles I refilled my bottle with plain water and attempted to eat another e-Gel but could only choke down a little bit.

Gear:
Wore my Saucony windbreaker jacket and have learned that I love the chest pocket but hate the zippers. The zipper lockers are insanely deep which leaves you fishing around for the zipper. On top of that the jacket doesn't breathe well, so I was left a sweaty mess when I was done. I also took some hand warmers and used them for a few miles.

Aches and Pains:
None really. Although I did step on a rock that twisted my ankle. It wasn't a bad twist, but was awkward enough to make me take two strides with my left foot.

Codename - Trail Head
It's disgusting when people litter. Even more so when it's on a nice trail. Infinitely more so when it's a damn used condom. I mean, really. You can't take that shit home with you? You can't do that at home? Gah. The worst part of it all? Trying not to laugh uncontrollably when I think about trail head now. Thank you Russ, Gary, and Carl.

Splits:
Mile 1 - 12:20
Mile 2 - 12:49
Mile 3 - 15:54 (includes pee break and gun range bypass)
Mile 4 - 14:11 (includes gun range bypass)
Mile 5 - 12:19
Mile 6 - 11:00
Aid Station - didn't time it but was likely 3 minutes or so
Mile 7 - 10:46
Mile 8 - 10:40
Finish - 1:40:03

Podcast - Mile 17

As my podcast moves forward with little to no listeners, I'll continue to cross-post links to the latest episodes. I generally try to put a new one out on Mondays since the "normal" day in the industry appears to be Fridays. Nothing like bucking the trend to get listeners, right? Right.

And I continue to go against the grain by recording my podcast without any fancy theme music, editing, or guests. It's a solo show for now and the only music you'll hear is what I hear as I record. All that ambient noise has got to drive people crazy. Oh, yeah, and since I don't edit my episodes, any flubs or errors will stay there. And my recording studio is the outside world so you get to hear a lot of that annoying ambient noise. Cars. Other people. Dogs. Heavy breathing. Water sloshing. Fabric rustling. Everything.

With that said, here's the link to my latest episode, Mile 17. I review two books by Patrick Lee. The Breach (full review here) and his latest, Ghost Country, are both solid books that are easy to read and certainly entertaining. Give them a try if you haven't already.

My Stalker

First, this is a post that may upset some people. Or more specifically, one person. For that, I'm sorry. But I just have to talk about the situation. You're a nice guy and I love to talk about running. But sometimes you just cross the line into the zone of freakishly abnormal social behavior.

Second, while this specific person may not like what I'm going to say, I'm going to be polite enough to not say his name. Some of you may know who I'm talking about and I would appreciate it if you respect his privacy the same way in the comments.

Third, in this post I will call him my stalker because that what it feels like to me. I no way do I think he's really a stalker. If I felt that way, I would have filed a report with the police and his employer and made it abundantly clear to him that I will protect myself and my family by any means necessary. That being said, he has freaked me out a few times with his plethora of knowledge. But always in a benign way.

Okay. With all the warnings, apologies, and whatnot out of the way, let's get into this.

Strange things started to happen about a year and a half to two years ago. I am a frequent shopper at our local running store, let's call it Sweet Feet, and I've come to know many of the employees there. Not personally mind you, I'm very much a socially awkward penguin so I only know their faces, not their names. There was Curly Hair, The Black Guy, Pierced Girl, and a few others that I'd see on my many visits there. I would frequent Sweet Feet for shoes, socks, clothes, and to just feel at home among other runners and the gear we wear.

I had recently finished my first 50k ultramarathon when I went in for some item or another and ran into a new employee, Chunk. I made the mistake many people do when they see a hefty person in a running store and assume they're there to restart their life by getting into shape. Well, after a bit of small talk with Chunk, it turns out he used to train for ultramarathons. I was instantly interested in learning more from somebody that was not only a big guy like me but also had the same interest in running insanely long distances.

I don't remember how many visits it took before I actually started talking to Chunk but I knew his face well enough to recognize him when we first exchanged words. By the time our first conversation was over, I already felt bad for stereotyping him into the "fat guy" category. Yes, sure, I'm positive he'd qualify for the arbitrarily discriminating running category of Clydesdale, but I can qualify too. I hate that label and refuse to use it. I'm big. He's big. Who cares if we can both run?

Anyway, we talked a few times before he made his first creepy comment. And oddly enough, it didn't feel creepy at all. In fact, it made me feel like a hero. Like a freaking super hero. He knew my time from my first 50k. He even knew there were photos and knew that I was in a lot of them. How awesome is that? I mean, this guy knew more and cared more about my first big race than my wife. I was on cloud nine!

Over the next few months, we'd talk shop whenever I went into Sweet Feet. He would be working most days I was there and I didn't really have many issues with him. He was just another cool runner that liked to talk about running. Perfect. Then things got a bit weird. My wife started to take up running so we went to Sweet Feet to try on some shoes for her. We knew they would take the time to get you fitted into the right shoe and we had rarely experienced bad customer service.

Until Chunk came to help. Now, there are always three sides to every story. Your side, their side, and what really happened. In this case, there were four sides. My side, my wife's, Chunk's, and what really happened. From my side of things, Chunk was a bit rude to my wife by ignoring her needs as a customer. I work in the customer service field so I know what you should and should not do. Chunk did some stuff he shouldn't have. Namely, ignore my wife. Granted, he doesn't have the experience I do with my wife, but trust me, don't ignore a woman when she's shopping for shoes. It's like putting a pillow over her face when you're having sex with her.

So Chunk ignored my wife. Not good. But, to make matters worse for my wife, he talked to me. That was fine with me, I love talking about running. I love when people pay attention to me. It's just that every time I tried to steer the conversation back to my wife who was sitting in the chair trying on shoes, Chunk would steer things back to me. Awkward, a bit rude, and not quite the super-hero worship feeling I had from previous encounters.

Fast forward a few months and we start to get close to my second ultramarathon, the next running of the same 50k from the previous year. I had planned for the race much better this time around and knew more about the race course and what to expect. Again, I'd see Chunk in the store and we'd talk running. But now we started talking about this race. I told him I was doing and it was no secret with my friends and family. At some point he decided he was running it too so our conversations began to go into more strategy and planning. Again, I love to talk about running so everything was cool.

Over the course of these months leading up to the race, I had made more friends through a certain social networking site. Through these friendships, I had come to discover that a particular friend, Honey Bunny, also had encounters with Chunk. Those encounters were a bit creepy for her so we did the only thing we could think of, we talked about him behind his back. I never claimed to be a good person so I'm not proud of that but when somebody knows a bit more about you than is socially acceptable, you get a bit weirded out.

As race-day approached, I had no thoughts of Chunk's inappropriate behavior. I was focused solely on the race and finishing. And I did. I shaved a solid hour off my time and felt awesome for doing it. Chunk, well, he didn't fair so well. He pulled a DNF. My wife was at a few of the aid stations to help out and to cheer for me and she said he didn't look so good. I really hated to feel happy that he DNFed but a little part of me was glad to see him taken down a notch. You see, over time, his tone had taken on a bit of a tone that made you feel inferior to him. I'm sure it wasn't intentional but I have self-worth issues without help and he just made it feel like he dug my hole a little deeper. So knowing that I was able to crawl out of my hole and he wasn't able to crawl out of his gave me a little satisfaction. Add to that the fact that he didn't talk to me much at Sweet Feet after the race helped ease the sense of unease that I had about how much he knew about me.

Until a few weeks ago. When he said something about my running the ICY 8 hour race. Now, granted, I had not made it a secret or anything. I had posted it here and mentioned it elsewhere but I didn't make a big deal about it and don't think I mentioned it to anyone at Sweet Feet. But he knew I was running the race. Yeah. Awkward. I began to wonder not only how he knew but also why he knew. Seriously. I'm not that important of a runner. In fact, I'm kind of a shitty runner in the grand scheme of things. But yet he knew. I went from thinking things had chilled to thinking things were back to 11 on the Huh?! meter.

Why have I waited so long to talk about Chunk? Well, because I couldn't quite process everything. I mean, sure, I know that certain runners ran a certain time or certain place in a specific race, but those are elite runners. Even those runners that aren't elite by most people's standards, they're still pretty damn good. For example, I know a runner who is sponsored by a few companies but isn't considered an elite runner. But he has won marathons and ultramarathons. That may not be elite by a textbook definition but that's pretty damn elite to me. Do I go around spouting off his times or places or make him feel awkward? No. Or at least I hope I don't. I know I'm more introverted than Chunk and that's probably why. But it's taken me this long to process all of my encounters and to think of a nice way to talk about him without making things too awkward between us. Plus he's no longer working at Sweet Feet. Well, he may work there occasionally but he's picked up work elsewhere.

I'm glad he's found a better job and I wish him the best of luck. I even feel comfortable enough to say that I hope to see him at a race in the future. He doesn't scare me. He just annoys me sometimes and makes me feel special while doing it. That's why I called him Chunk in this post. He's like Chunk in The Goonies. He's a little annoying, he's a little bigger than normal, and yet he makes me feel special.

So there you have it. I have/had a stalker. I loved it and hated it, all at the same time.

PS - If you're out there Chunk, I hope you don't have hard feelings over this. And while I have your number, please don't expect a call. Not because of everything I've said here but because I hate talking on the phone. It's not a lame excuse, I just seriously hate it.

Today's Run - Teach Me How To Dogue

Report:

You might just want to skip the crap I typed between the breaks. Might be easier on your brain.

****************************

Not sure if this was a nice long run or if it was just a long run. Parts of it were wonderful, parts of it horrible, but overall, it was pretty nice. I got lost and found again. I ventured into the unknown only to find the known. It was deep and shallow. Cloudy and clear.

Yeah. Gibberish. I know. My mind is a bit blurry at the moment but I feel good. Not quite as hazy as some of my longer runs so I guess I'm more numb than dumb. Anyway, enough blather. Today's run started from my wife's school. She brought home a jungle's worth of plants over the holidays so today we took them back to her room since the weather was nice. And boy was it nice. I guess I should back up even more.

*******************************
Okay, clean start. Today started with an early alarm and not enough sleep. I had to get lab work done this morning and I am terrified of needles. Absolutely terrified. Terrified. So I was nervous all night. So not enough sleep. And the labs required fasting so I didn't have coffee or breakfast before I left so I was even crabbier. Once at the lab site I was lucky enough to have a great phlebotomist that listened to what I had to say and did a great job making it as painless as possible. You see, I'm nervous enough about needles that I know I need to chug water before the test, that I have small veins and need the black needle (the pediatric one), and that my right arm does the best at giving up blood. Yeah.

After that, we got breakfast, a haircut, groceries, lunch, then back home. I was amazed that we made it home, had the groceries unloaded, and were damn near close to leaving again by 1300 (that's 1 pm). We dropped off the plants at school and my wife and kids rode their bikes while I headed out for my run.

From the school I headed towards the old elementary school and down Millbank Road. I've never run on this road and found it to be a bit hairy in the early sections but later it straightened out later. I took a side road, Powhatan, down to Port Conway. For those in the know, this is Dogue. For those not in the know, it's pronounced DOE-g. As in the word "doe" and the sound "g" makes. This was where I got lost. I knew where Millbank went but had no idea where Powhatan went. Until I saw the stop sign that I turned around at. Then I knew where I was and knew I needed to high-tail it back home before it got dark. Yep. I forgot about sunset being so early.

So I doubled back on Powhatan, ran down Millbank to Gera. I knew Gera would take me to the mid-way point on my usual YMCA route and that would spit me out at the Sheetz. And the Sheetz would be a great place to pick up fluids and it was only 4 miles from home. Once there, I was in the home stretch.

As I got close to home, I took a side road to tack on some more miles because I was feeling so good. Might pay for it later but screw it. I was high on life and going for it. I knew I'd be over 13.1 if I just went home but I ended up with nearly 16 miles in the end so I think I made out pretty good.

Weather:
Temps were 65F to 70F when I started but chilled a bit at the very end to maybe 60F. Clouds were out in force but there were some openings for the sun every now and then. There was a light breeze here and there.
Aches and Pains:
My knees started to hurt after about 10 miles which makes me think my shoes are about ready to retire. My right quad cramped a bit around mile 5 which told me I needed to ramp up my fluids and electrolytes. Once I did that it settled down until the very end. My right calf (that outside portion that's like the ITB) locked up a few times at the very end. And my left calf (the regular part) hurts now.

Gear:
No fancy gear. Took my Nathan HPL 020 and one Amphipod bottle. It worked out fine to haul water in the Natahn and my Hammer Fizz in my bottle. It would have been nice to have more electrolyte drink along the way but it was doable.

Fluids and Fuel:
I pounded a good quart of water before my lab work. Breakfast was a power sandwich and souffle at Panera along with iced coffee. Lunch was half a roast beef and asiago sandwich and half a cinnamon crunch bagel from Panera along with iced tea. Right before my run I had half a bottle of Gatorade. During my run I had half a plain bagel during the first few miles. I took two small bottles of Hammer gel and finished them both. I'd say there was about 4 to 6 servings total. I also finished two bottles of Hammer Fizz. And I had about a liter and a half of plain water. I had to pee three times so I think I did a decent job hydrating. I need to increase my electrolyte intake a bit though, especially towards the later parts. I also had a small can of Starbucks double espresso at mile 10. That shit was like rocket fuel and was directly responsible for me feeling so damn good at the end. With the gels, I learned two things. First, I need them about every half hour for the first hour to hour and a half then about every 20 minutes after that. I also learned that I can suck some water into my mouth and backwash it into my gel flask to rinse out the last little bits of gel in there. Sounds gross but if you really want some more fuel, it's an easy way to get the dregs.

Codename - Teach me how to dougie
Lame play on words, I know but I was very surprised to see where I was in my run today. That was part of the joy though, not knowing where I was or where I'd end up. I had a preset time limit that I needed to follow and I was edging close to it when I saw the stop sign way ahead of me. So when I saw it, I knew I'd make it there and turn around. I just didn't expect to be there.

Throwing the Lumberjack gang sign in Dogue:


Splits:
Splits are from RunKeeper and may not be entirely accurate.
Mile 1 - 10:32
Mile 2 - 10:40
Mile 3 - 12:36 (includes pee break)
Mile 4 - 10:55
Mile 5 - 12:18
Mile 6 - 11:10
Mile 7 - 12:17 (includes pee break)
Mile 8 - 11:58
Mile 9 - 11:41
Mile 10 - 14:39 (includes pee break and stopping at Sheetz)
Mile 11 - 10:29
Mile 12 - 11:26
Mile 13 - 10:49
Mile 14 - 10:05
Mile 15 - 10:52
Finish - 3:00:29