Friday, August 31, 2012

Shot down in a blaze of glory

Was hoping to go to the group run today at the Y but my schedule just didn't work out that way. So I went for a run by myself. And it sucked. Turned into more of a walk than a run and instead of dwelling on how slow I was going, I stopped and reset my watch before I had gone half a mile. Yep, I knew that quickly how slowly I was going. So, without the pressure of times and splits, I just chilled out as best as I could. My guess is I ran the 2 miles at about 13 to 14 minute pace but I can't be sure.

Saw a deer in the fields and was briefly chased by a dog. He ran to the edge of the road well behind me but thankfully listened to his owner working in the garden. I wasn't too worried about it since I haven't had any issues with dogs on this particular stretch of road.

Temps were about 70F but humidity was high enough that I could see it in the sunlight. No wind and plenty of sun.

Fluids and Fuel:
No breakfast before the run. Just a bottle of water during the run. Recovery was yogurt, oatmeal, and iced coffee.

Aches and Pains:
None really.

Just my phone.

Codename - Shot down in a blaze of glory
That's how my grand schemes and plans tend to end up. Carnage in a crater.

None taken.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Delirious Shrooms in the Purple Rain

Just a run. Nothing fancy or special about it. Had some stuff on my mind and did my best to shove last night's dream into the deepest, darkest corner of my brain. The last 5 miles I worked on nailing the door shut so it would never come out again.

Yup, that pretty much sums it up for today.

Temps were about 80F with high humidity again. Clouds were out nearly the whole time even though I could tell the sun was out too. Only had a slight breeze in the last mile. Light rain came about half an hour after I finished.

Fluids and Fuel:
First breakfast was yogurt and iced coffee. During the run I had one bottle of water and one bottle of Hammer Fizz. Recovery, second breakfast, was an egg, cheese, and roast beef wrap, oatmeal, and another iced coffee.

Aches and Pains:
My right ankle felt tight for the first mile or so. It's the top part where the foot meets the leg. Kind of like where you tie the bow on your shoelaces. After awhile it loosened up. Felt like a knuckle that needed to be cracked. Outside of that, it was just hard to breathe with the stuffy air.

No special gear other than my phone. I did ditch my hat after the first 3 miles.

Codename - Delirious Shrooms in the Purple Rain
Listened to some Prince on the second half of my run and did my best to stick to my 50% rule of no music until the second half of the run. Also saw a lot of mushrooms on the side of the road today. Kind of odd but certainly a sign of how hot and humid it's been lately.

Mile 1 - 10:11
Mile 2 - 13:23 (includes a pee break)
Mile 3 - 11:29
First 5k - 36:27
Mile 4 - 11:18
Mile 5 - 11:23
Mile 6 - 11:19
Second 5k - 35:02
Finish - 1:11:29

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

The Artful Dodger

Had a bad night sleeping last night. Daughter just about took a fist to the face for scaring the living shit out of me. I was in some sort of deep-coma-like meditation state or something where I think I'm awake enough to hear the thunderstorm all around my house but I can't hear my bedroom door open or my daughter walk in. Shortly after that, my son came in. He didn't risk a fist since he was loud enough to wake me up. Then I had to tell my daughter to turn her audio book down. Then my son came back in. Then my wife stole the covers. Then the storm got even louder. I finally woke up at 0530 when my wife banged the door coming out of the bathroom after her shower. I promptly grumbled, rolled over, and went the fuck back to sleep.

So anyway, I finally got things rolling and made it out the door. It wasn't a fun run but it was miles on the books.

The swamp that feeds the stream that's at the bottom of the hill.

Temps were about 85F to 88F. Humidity was insanely high, maybe 70% or more. The sun was out and even though it was pretty cloudy, it seemed like I rarely saw any shade. There was a light breeze but it was barely enough to cool things off.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was oatmeal, a burrito, yogurt, and iced coffee. During the run I took a bottle of water and finished it. Recovery was a single scoop (half serving) of Hammer Recoverite mixed with water and chocolate ZICO. That was followed by meatloaf, broccoli, and potato wedges.

Aches and Pains:
None really to speak of but my stride and gait felt off. Not sure why, just felt funny.

No special gear, just my phone.

Codename - The Artful Dodger
No, it isn't a reference to Master Bates. Although that does give me a good chuckle. It's a reference to my wife not running my half-naked ass over. You see, I was running a pretty normal route on a road near my house (it was my lunch hour after all). The road is pretty narrow but still wide enough for two cars to pass each other. Barely. On either side of the road is a ditch. That may be three feet deep in some place. Plus it's on a hill. With curves. Oh, and at the bottom of the hill where it crosses the stream, it's a one-lane bridge. Made of wood. So yes, I do indeed live in the sticks (I have three bridges like that within running distance of my house, the other two are on gravel roads). Well, sure enough, my wife comes barreling down the road right at me. She does a little bob and weave as I wave.

Outbound - 21:08
Inbound - 21:22
Finish - 42:30

Monday, August 27, 2012

Podcast - Mile 39 - DRHT 50k Race Report II

Welcome to yet another episode of the One Mile Running Podcast. Why you keep coming back for more, I have no idea. Maybe this long episode will keep you in your place. Maybe not. Anyway, this episode starts with a bit of a race report from my most recent 50k, the Dahlgren Railroad Heritage Trail (DRHT) 50k. Nothing that I haven't already covered before but maybe it'll give you something to listen to while you go out for your next ultra-training run.

Oh, and if you're wondering why this episode is so long, it's because I'm walking. Because it's the morning after the aforementioned race. So I'm a little tired. Just be happy I stopped recording before I went to the bathroom.

Feel free to send me an email if you want me to talk about you.

Until then, download or view this episode from Podbean.

Friday, August 24, 2012

Babybel Mile aka Cheesy Jokes

I really need a puke face for this one. Why? Because unlike Nick Symmonds and his recent beer mile, I've stepped up the game and ran the first ever Babybel Mile Challenge. That's right. I've done it.

It all started here.

And, with a bit of planning, I was able to procure enough Babybel cheese wheels to choke a dairy cow. Well, okay, there was no planning. I just went to Costco and bought two huge bags of cheese. Turns out, I barely needed half a bag. Why on earth did I think I could eat 28 of these things? Clearly I must have gone crackers.

That's right, there's 28 of those little devils in there.

So I did a short warm-up mile just to get things moving. Then I made a quick bathroom break before heading out for the full thing. The first few were easy enough but my biggest struggle was with the technique. I had to open each one and eat it. It took a few tries but I eventually learned I could chew on one and work on opening another at the same time. But of course by the time I figured it out, I was ready to barf.

It's been two hours since my run and I'm still a bit queasy. I haven't gotten sick but I'm seriously thinking about it.

Okay, the rules are pretty simple. Run a mile outside and eat as many Babybel cheeses as you can. You must carry everything with you. The wrapped cheese (no unwrapping early) and your trash after you unwrap them must remain on your person until you finish the run. No littering. If you puke, you are disqualified. If you poop your pants, you will not be disqualified but you'll have a crappy story to tell. And finally, the scoring. I think I'm going to go with the following equation:

run time (mm:ss) - one minute (1:00) per cheese eaten = finish time (mm:ss)

Now, this could potentially run into the negatives and that's fine. You run a 5 minute mile and eat 8 cheeses and you'll get a -3:00 time (negative three minutes).

So how did I do? Run time was 14:01. Cheeses eaten was 11. My score was a time of 3:01. Feel free to step up to the plate and cut my cheese time.

The aftermath.

Temps were about 75F. Sun, no wind, light humidity.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was iced coffee, yogurt, and a breakfast burrito. Yes, I ate breakfast before this challenge. During the run I had water for my warm-up mile then 11 cheeses for the challenge. No recovery.

Aches and Pains:
None other than a very angry stomach.

Wore my bike shirt to carry all 28 cheese wheels and felt like I was wearing a fanny pack from 1985 with a Walkman inside.

Codename - Cheesy Jokes
Had enough of them yet? Don't be cowed by my humor. My jokes aren't really that good. In fact, I often feel sheepish when my jokes are so dry, I have to explain them. To myself. Do I have you by the goat yet? Starting to wine? I think I'll stop here before I get too corny.

Finish - 14:01

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Old Men and Eminem

Today's run was sponsored by Insanity Wolf. Or as you folks here refer to her, Biddi. So while she totally pushed me and kicked my ass during Sunday's race, I never really thought I could manage that pace by myself. Turns out I can. I just have to dive deep into my mind and open the cage to let the Insanity Wolf inside me loose.

It's because of that bat-shit crazy wolf that I pushed myself faster than expected. And totally smoked it. Well, as fast as my fat ass could push itself. To put it another way, I did my best to constantly keep my self revving at about 80% to 90% of my effort. And holy shit did it hurt. And suck. But I managed to survive.

Along the way, I saw lots of cars and got a few waves. I guess my neighbors are getting used to a crazy dude running down the road with his shirt off. Anyway, as I neared my turn-around point, I saw a couple of young teenage boys hanging out in the back of the local quickie mart. One on a skateboard and one on a bike. So as typical teenage boys do, they headed down the road with their pack of cigarettes; the skateboarder hanging off the back of the biker. Well, I paid them no mind and just ran my route. As I passed them, I overheard them comment about my musical choice; Eminem. That's right, old men listen to Eminem.

Temps were about 75F, humidity was moderate to low, sun was out, and there was no breeze.

Fluids and Fuel:
Took a Hammer Gel before the run and took two bottles, one water and one Hammer Fizz, on the run. Finished all the water and most of the Fizz. Recovery was an iced coffee, chips, and dip.

Aches and Pains:
Felt a little wheezy but nothing too terrible.

No special gear but I did take my phone for music and photos.

Codename - Old Men and Eminem
That's right, this old man listens to rap. So get over it young punks and smoke your cigarettes while I get my high from running.

Outbound - 20:16
Inbound - 20:23
Finish - 40:40 (a new PR for this route by 24 seconds)

Monday, August 20, 2012

2012 Hartwood Capital Ale House 10 Miler

Managed to set a PR thanks to Biddi. More details later.

Edited to add more details.

This was a slog of a run thanks to my wonderful pacer/running buddy. Tab took things out insanely fast but I somehow managed to hang on. I mean, 10 minute miles. Holy crap was that fast! But it just goes to show that your body really can do more than you think. So as we reached the second mile marker, I was ready to die. But my incessant whining wasn't doing anything to change Tab's pace so I hung on for dear life until we got to the first water table. Once there, I was able to catch my breath before she took off like her ass was on fire down the next hill. I took another quick walking break at Mile 3 but manged to catch up by stretching out on the downhill and running the tangents. I was able to make up a bit of ground on the uphills too so I finally caught her. We repeated this a few more times where I'd pass her at the water tables then she'd pass me. We finally stuck together around Mile 5 or 6 and by the time we reached the water table near Mile 6, I could tell she was fading a bit. We had joked earlier that she would crash then but she hung on pretty steady through the whole race, only showing some visible signs of sluggishness around Mile 7 or 8.

The last few miles have bigger hills so things slowed down but we took to our ultra-running skills and walked the hills and ran everything else. As we cruised through Mile 9, I noticed my rival behind us. This old guy always wears red and I've long made it my goal to never have him beat me. He has no idea who I am and vice versa but it's still a goal of mine. Anyway, we slogged up the final hill and turned back into the park. As we got within sight of the finish line, I asked Tab if she had another gear. She didn't and I wasn't surprised. So I left her behind and kicked it up to top gear and finished strong passing one more guy at the very end.

Tab finished strong but I could tell she was tired. Probably because she didn't eat a damn thing on the run. And because she went too damn fast at the start. And because she had too much of my whine and cheesy jokes. But in the end, I couldn't have set my new PR without her.

Temps were 65F at the start and about 73F at the finish. Humidity was nearly 100% but there was no rain. Partly sunny. No real breeze.

Fluids and Fuel:
Had a chocolate ZICO before the race. No other breakfast. During the run I had a bottle of water for starters then dropped a Hammer Fizz in there at Mile 2. From there I topped it off with regular water at various stages. I also had a mini-flask of Hammer Perpeteum that I finished and one Hammer Gel that I took at Mile 2. Recovery was a beer, some cookies, Hammer Recoverite, and water.

Aches and Pains:
Had some odd bloat and crampy feelings that were high in my gut. Cropped up around Mile 6 but didn't hurt too much.

Wore my T-Star running shorts and got lots of compliments. Also wore my singlet with my test script on the back (THE LUMBER JACK).

Mile 1 - 10:23 (includes about 30 seconds to cross the start line)
Mile 2 - 10:47
Mile 3 - 10:07
Mile 4 - 10:18
Mile 5 - 10:25
Mile 6 - 10:49
Mile 7 - 11:41
Mile 8 - 11:30
Mile 9 - 11:31
Mile 10 - 9:30
Finish - 1:46:37 (a PR by about 12 minutes)

Saturday, August 18, 2012


Just a short run today since I pulled 8 yesterday. But I ended up going fast today for some reason. Must have been peer pressure. Anyway, got my run on and felt only a little wheezy by the end.

Temps were about 70F. Sun was out. Light breeze. No humidity.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was oatmeal, yogurt, and iced coffee. During the run I had one bottle of water. After the run, I had a bottle of chocolate ZICO. That was followed by a second breakfast of eggs, potatoes, and yogurt when I got home.

Aches and Pains:
The oatmeal sat heavy in my gut during the run but that could have been caused by the fast first mile. Beyond that, I felt a little wheezy in the last half mile but I was pushing a little harder than I should have.

No special gear but I completely forgot about my hat and sunglasses. So I dealt with squinty eyes and sun glare.

Codename - GOZ SLO
For those of you in the area, you may be familiar with this particular car. Or not. You see, I know license plates for some odd reason. And I've seen this car in the area several times. Well today, it whizzed by us going quite fast. So if you know this person, please remind them that runners and other pedestrians would be grateful if they slowed down when you went past them.

Mile 1 - 9:41
Mile 2 - 10:32
Mile 3 - 10:17
Finish - 31:29 (all of about 20 seconds off my PR - what the actual fuck?)

Friday, August 17, 2012


So I went out for a little jaunt today in an effort to punish myself for being a lazy ass couch potato. How have I been a lazy ass couch potato? Let me count the ways. Missing my long run this past weekend and attempting to make up for it on Monday. Instead of doing the full 10 miles of my make-up long run on Monday, I only did 8 miles. Skipping my planned 3 and 5 mile runs on Tuesday and Wednesday. Which leaves me with today's run, a make-up session of 8 miles. Not to mention all the crap food I've been eating.

Which brings us to food allergies. For those of you that don't know, I'm allergic to nuts, poultry, and gourds. For those of you that don't care, why the hell are you still reading? So, yesterday I ate crap food. Fried food. Fried mac and cheese nuggets. About as close to death in a paper bag as you can get without huffing silver paint. So after I pour all that crap down my gullet, I attempt to appease the food gods by eating a salad. A taco salad. With some greasy meat on it. That apparently had some form of poultry, likely turkey, in it. Which lead to an allergic reaction which was thankfully mild. I mean, I could barely swallow but I could still breath. Then I made things worse.

You see, as a kid growing up with food allergies, I learned that one of the best remedies that was easily found was Coke. Coke in the can worked best while Coke from the fountain required a double dose. Anyway, Coke worked as a great over the counter anti-histamine. Can you guess what I drank yesterday? A Coke. Now, mind you, I had a valid medical reason. I didn't want to jab the Epi-Pen in my thigh. At all. And I didn't want to take Benadryl so I could fall asleep at work. That left Coke. Which isn't really all that bad since I rarely drink it. But there's a reason I rarely drink it. That shit makes me depressed. And I don't mean like "oh boo hoo, I drank a Coke and now I'm going to get fat." Not even depressed like "oh crap, I drank a Coke and now I'm going to get addicted to them again like an alcoholic is addicted to beer." No, I'm talking about depressed like "oh fuck this shit, I'm not getting out of bed, life just isn't worth it." Complete mental carnage. And no, I have no idea why it does that to me. Although the best theory I've heard is that I'm allergic to it.

Anywho. Back to today's run. I fought some heartburn from yesterday's lunch, some moody blues from yesterday's Coke, and some couch potato flab from eating crappy food. But I survived. Although it was close when that turkey ran across the field. I was a little worried he was going to go get some friends and come back to attack me.

Temps were about 80F but probably climbed to about 85F by the end. There was a light breeze of about 10 mph. Sun was out. Humidity was low.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was potatoes, eggs, toast, and iced coffee. For the run, I took my hydration pack with ice water. I also took an EFS shot (Berry flavored). I finished both by the end. Recovery was Hammer Recoverite.

Aches and Pains:
First mile or two had some right ankle pain. It's the top of the ankle where it bends. Felt tight for some reason like it didn't want to bend. Eventually went away. Had some heartburn and some nasty and acidic burps. My right knee ached a bit towards the end. The last few miles also had what felt like some chafe on the back of my right foot around the Achilles at the top of the shoe. Didn't see any in the shower though.

Took my hydration pack, phone, recorder, and that was about it.

Codename - Obey
Saw an Obey sticker (without the word, just Andre's face) on a phone pedestal. I'd seen it before but never knew what it meant. Now I do.

Outbound - 51:15
Inbound - 51:20 (really happy that I only slowed about a second per mile on the return trip)
Finish - 1:42:36

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Community's Freaks and Geeks

Not at all safe for work due to language. But absolutely worth your time. And in case you didn't know the song, it's by Childish Gambino. Also known as Donald Glover. Also known as Troy on Community.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Scared Shitless

Was hoping to get in a long run this weekend but I ended up just doing a short 1 mile hike with the family. Since I close today, I was lucky enough to have a little extra time this morning to get my long run in. But I still didn't do the 10 miles I wanted and ended up with just 8. Guess it's better than nothing, right?

I got around onto some rarely used roads. Well, rarely used by me at least. It's just not usually in my neck of the woods so I don't usually run on them. At least I got to see some new scenery and even managed to feel pretty good about things. I tried to stick to a pattern of taking a short walking break every half mile. It seemed to work until the last mile or two when I started to get tired.

I also experimented with some new fueling options today as well as new methods of carrying my fluids. I finally found some whipped honey this weekend so I made my own version of the shit sandwich and spread some of it on two flour tortillas. I wrapped each in saran wrap then put both into a ziplock bag. Thankful I did since one of them leaked a bit. Turns out whipped honey starts to melt a bit when it gets warm. As for my fluids, I stashed two bottles into my Nathan vest instead of using my bladder. I also tested out drinking some iced tea as well. Everything appeared to work fine, it's just a matter of perfecting and tweaking things a bit to make it all work better. Assuming I do it again.

Here's a little self-portrait I managed to take during the run.

Temps were about 85F, humidity was low, and there was a slight breeze. Sun was out with a few clouds.

Fluids and Fuel:
Put two handheld bottles in my Nathan vest, one with water, one with Hammer Fizz. Both had ice that lasted a decent amount of time. Around Mile 1 I bought a bottle of iced tea. I finished all of my fluids by the end. I also finished my shit sandwiches, taking one around Mile 3.5 and another around Mile 5.

Aches and Pains:
Not really any to speak of. Although my right hamstring is a bit tight right now for some reason.

Wore my Nathan vest but took no bladder. Also had some BodyGlide on hand (thankfully).

Codename - Scared Shitless
So as I'm running, eating my shit sandwiches, I see a sign that says NO DUMPING. I found it rather amusing since I really need to take one. Thankfully I was able to hold everything in until the end of the run. The worst part was I was distracted while grabbing my water from the pack and saw something very close to my face. I jumped and put my hands up thinking it was a dog or some other animal attacking me. Turns out it was just a low hanging branch. Sigh. Such a ninny.

Splits are from RunKeeper and may not be entirely accurate.
Mile 1 - 11:06
Mile 2 - 14:22 (includes bathroom break and getting a drink at Sheetz)
Mile 3 - 11:34
Mile 4 - 12:52
Mile 5 - 12:19
Mile 6 - 12:16
Mile 7 - 11:53
Mile 8 - 11:40
Finish - 1:39:27

Monday, August 13, 2012

Podcast - Mile 38 - 50-DDDD

Not to worry ladies, I'm not talking about a bra size. Instead, I'm talking about my Doomed Debut Dahlgren Double. You see, I had planned on attempting to do a 50k race on a Saturday then a Fat Ass 50k the next day. Turns out I did the race just fine (setting a new PR) but I followed it with a 6 mile walk. No running, no 50k, just a wimpy 6 miles. I'm pretty bummed but I think I'll survive. I need to learn how to take care of things on the trail instead of just pushing through them like I did in the race. If I had cleaned up my blisters during the race, I'm sure I would have gone longer.

Oh well, 20/20 hindsight, right? Anyway, in this episode I ramble on about back seats, a bed liner, and some other random crap I see on my runs. Again ladies, no worries, I don't talk about sex toys. I do apologize for the issues I had with the previous episode.

From there I ramble into Ashland Dave and his podcast and my new segment called Listener Mail. I do not go into how much I fear this will turn into a circle jerk of me talking about other podcasts. Although I do have a history of poking some fun at some other guys.

Need my email to send me some Listener Mail? Here you go (just remove the spaces):

T K 4 2 O N E

Download or view the podcast and then send me an email. If you dare.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Jurassic Park

I had planned on going for a run with the YMCA group this morning but my son (and the heavy rain) managed to twist my arm. So instead I went to the dentist with my son where he got a clean bill of health. The skies cleared and I opted for a lunch run instead. After all, I had promised Biddi I would test my latest pair of shorts.

So out the door I went, shirtless, and sporting my new T-Star threads. Nothing terribly exciting during the run other than seeing one walker and one kid riding his bike. And a turtle on a log in the swamp. Outside of that, it was a decent run.

Temps were about 75F to 80F. Winds were moderate, maybe 20 mph. Sun was out but so were the clouds. Humidity was moderate but not too noticeable due to the wind.

Fluids and Fuel:
Took a Hammer Gel (Banana) before I left and had two bottles of plain water during the run. After the run I had  a bottle of Hammer Recoverite, some shredded wheat, and two slices of cheese.

Aches and Pains:
Felt oddly gimpy today. My knees and ankles and legs felt sore but there were no aches or pains that stayed with me the entire time. Just kind of randomly traveled from one leg to another or up and down a leg.

Other than my new shorts, just my phone.

Codename - Jurassic Park
You know that scene in Jurassic Park where the T-Rex is in the side view mirror of the Jeep? Well, that's the inspiration behind my picture in my new shorts. So for those of you that don't get my dry wit, that means I stuffed a sock in my shorts to look more manly. Or horse-like.

Outbound - 20:33
Inbound - 20:40
Finish - 41:13


Yes! I won! Well, sort of. Maybe. Kinda. My big win was getting out of bed this morning and going for a run. It's been ages since I've been up early enough to see the post-dawn haze of a humid and cool night. So I was quite pleased with myself for being man enough to beat the gravity well of my bed. And oh, it was so comfy this morning. My wife's pillow smelled great and her side was nice and cool. Ahhhhh.

But I beat the pull and made it up and out the door at a semi-reasonable time. I non-jogged my fat ass down the road and did my best to enjoy such an early morning view. Keep in mind it was nearly 0800. So, I ran down the road, got attacked by deer flies, and ran back home. Turns out the deer flies were out looking for breakfast and found me. There were so damn many of them, there were too many to shake a stick at. Literally. i was waving my arms around like Zach Anner and was hitting them left and right. I had at least five confirmed kills and at least 20 hits. But I also took some damage, thankfully not too much to keep me from completing my run.

Saw one deer, tons of deer flies, and an inch worm on my shorts. ON my shorts, not IN my shorts.

Temps were about 70F, humidity was moderate to high, and the sun was out in full. A slight breeze at each end of the run when there were open fields.

Fluids and Fuel:
No breakfast before the run. During the run I had a bottle of plain water and a bottle of Hammer Fizz. With the turnaround in sight, I took one Hammer Gel (Apple Cinnamon - yum!).

Aches and Pains:
Worst was the deer fly bites. Outside of that, things were fine. Did step on one or two pointy pieces of gravel.

Wore my Deerfly Patches and was shocked when I didn't catch as many as I normally do. I'm thinking it's because I was wearing a black hat so they thought it was a shadow. Just a theory. Also took my iPod Shuffle but the battery was low so I only listened to a few songs. Also took my phone to snap a few pictures.

Codename - Slacker
Yup. I just scored an early birthday present to myself. A Gibbon slackline. So now I'll really be slacking.

Outbound - 31:38
Inbound - 31:43
Finish - 1:03:21

Wednesday, August 08, 2012

Crazy Walker

Working some kinks out this afternoon. And boy am I kinky.


So I got up this morning, turned on the news, and promptly rolled back into bed. Once I eventually got my fat ass out of bed, I was motivated enough to eat, drink some coffee, and go to work. Which left me with my lunch break to run.

And run I did. A little. And walked. A little. Overall, things went fairly well. Felt stiff, sore, and tired but things eventually smoothed out and I was able to suffer through the heat, humidity, and horse flies like I normally do. I took plenty of walking breaks, especially on the uphills, but found myself running up a few just because I felt like I was going too slow. Not too much else exciting going on during my run.

Temps were about 80F, humidity was very high, sky was overcast, wind was light. Lots of dark clouds and thunder in the distance but no rain.

Fluids and Fuel:
Took a Hammer Gel (Montana Huckleberry) before the run and I hated it. Took a bottle of water during the run and finished it. Recovery was chocolate ZICO followed by water and shredded wheat.

Aches and Pains:
Pretty much everything hurt, but nothing too major. Mostly just stiff hamstrings, quads, and calves. Feet were a little tender and I could feel my blisters flare up at one point, but by the end, everything was fine.

No special gear since I thought it would rain.

Codename - Crazy Walker
I swear, every time I got tired and started to walk, a car drove by. Every. Freaking. Time. So today I got to look like a crazy, topless, walker.

Outbound - 21:39
Inbound - 21:16
Finish - 42:55

Tuesday, August 07, 2012

Podcast - Mile 37 - G.I. Joe

That's right folks, it's time for another episode of the One Mile Running Podcast. Just what your ENT doctor ordered, a great show to make your ears bleed.

This episode is focused on G.I. Joes. No, not the big ones that started things off and were the size of Barbies. I'm talking about the REAL ones that were all the rage in the 80s. I freaking loved these toys. So that's what I ramble on about in this show.

Or should it be two shows? Whatever you want to call it, it appears that Cobra snuck in one night and drained my batteries. Which means I had to split the show into two parts. Which means you have to click twice as many times to get the same amount of aural punishment. I hope you enjoy!

Download or view the G.I. Joe portion on Podbean.
Download or view the Cobra portion on Podbean.

Monday, August 06, 2012

2012 DRHT 50k Race Report

Phew. So much to report and I'm sure I'll forget something. To start with, I didn't have that usual week full of pre-race panic. It wasn't until the night before that I got a bit nervous. On race day, I felt good and got to the start line with just the right amount of time. Ditched my drop bag, waited a few minutes, went to the bathroom, and just chilled until the start.

As we started the race, I saw a familiar face. My stalker. As we chatted a bit, he said he was here for redemption and wanted to finish (he dropped at Mile 20 last year after a fall). I wished him well and eventually leapfrogged with him several times over the next few miles. I also saw Wayne, the bearded running master from ICY-8 earlier this year. He seemed surprised that somebody knew him. As did another lady I knew from last year.

Anyway, we headed down the road to the trail. I went through the first aid station after grabbing just an Oreo. I met up with Butch and Diane. The three of us and my stalker ran together for a bit, trading places, chatting, etc. I eventually passed my stalker and wished him well. I assumed he'd be right behind but it turns out he dropped early. Like at Mile 10. While last year I had very little remorse for him dropping, this year I actually felt bad for him. I was hoping he'd finish and put the demons of last year behind him.

The first ten miles for me were great. My second aid station was another fast one, just ice and water. I was moving faster than expected and felt smooth. The second ten miles sucked ass. I got way overheated and couldn't cool down. I pushed it a bit and ended up overheating even more. I eventually learned that I needed to slow down so I didn't overheat.

The next aid station was much slower than I wanted but I had rocks in my shoes and stopped to take them out. I was going slow but was still moving. I got more ice and water and moved on. The next aid station had our drop bags and yet again, I was slower than I wanted to be. But my bottles were still semi-frozen so the water felt great. Until it ran out. The ice just wasn't melting as fast as I wanted it to. I made it to Mile 20 feeling a little better.

From Mile 20 to the end, I felt much better. I was staying hydrated, I was fueled, I was managing my heat much better, I just couldn't move as fast as I wanted to. Turns out, if I ran too much, I'd get overheated. Go figure. I somehow stumbled upon the process of running for 20 paces and walking for 40. I'd periodically run for 25 or even 30 paces and would mix in a walking break of 60 paces every mile. Not only did this keep me moving, it kept me moving at a pace that my body could handle with the heat. An added bonus was that it constantly took my mind off the pain in my feet. Worked like a charm!

Through several aid stations I got to see several people I volunteer with for the trail. I was also lucky enough to have my wife and Tabitha help (my kids were there too but they were mostly cheering me on). Not sure I could have moved through so quickly without them.

Let's see, what else happened. I knew I was moving slow but I managed to pass quite a few people in the final ten miles. One guy was hurting pretty bad and Tabitha even helped him out as he came into the aid station. He eventually finished with Wayne but Wayne told my wife he may not have made it without everyone there to help him. He was hurting bad. Wayne was walking and finished last but man, he can hike scary fast. He also took a picture of my shorts.

And speaking of my shorts, one of the ladies volunteering knew me and cheered me on at one of the road crossings. Her friend was there taking pictures and as I came through the second time, she said her friend was going to take pictures of my ass. Ha! Then there was a guy who I passed who said "Your shorts look hawt." I said "Thanks." He said "No, I mean, they look hot to run in. Not that I'm staring at your ass." I laughed and said "Well, it's pretty clear I have nothing to hide in these!"

Okay. Here's the blood and gore part of the report. So if puss, genitals, and feces scare you, just skip to the Weather section below. So, the race was a bit odd. I didn't poop in the morning and had a constant fear that I'd need to at any moment. I never felt an urge at all. Despite eating a breakfast burrito and an iced latte before the race. Which usually flushes things out. So I carried baby wipes with me nearly the entire race before eventually saying screw it, I can live with some ass chafe for a few miles. Speaking of chafe, my shorts are awesome. But because of how things sit in the banana hammock, I had some chafe on the, um, trunk of my tree. Very odd spot. Thankfully it didn't impact any important performances. My blisters were also a bit odd. I haven't had blisters on my heels in ages. The one actually bled a bit when I lanced it while the other felt like it was much deeper than normal. The blister on my toe is, unfortunately, pretty normal.

Temps were about 75F at the start and got to about 90F by the finish. Humidity was high. Sun was out in full but the course is mostly shaded. There was a breeze here and there.

Fluids and Fuels:
Iced latte and most of a breakfast burrito on the way to the race. Went through a ton of fluids. Took four Hammer Fizz tablets, four servings of Hammer Perpeteum, two Hammer Gels, a few Oreos, a few Ritz crackers, and tons of ice and water. Recovery was a hamburger, cold water, Hammer Recoverite, and I'm sure a few other things.

Aches and Pains:
One blister on the toe next to my left big toe. One blister on my left heel. One larger blister on my right heel. Tender feet. Right hip hurts. Overall, just stiff and sore.

I kept things simple. Started out with my iPod shuffle but ditched it at Mile 16. Had Deerfly Paper on my hat and ditched that at Mile 20 along with my pedometer. Outside of that, it was a small mini flask of liquid fluids, a small BodyGlide, a few baby wipes, and my two handheld bottles. I did eventually shed some gear over time, like tossing my last mini flask at Mile 28. I also had spare shoes, spare socks, and a few other items in my drop bag (which we could access at Mile 16 and 24 in the race). I also had frozen two mini flasks and two handheld bottles and put them in my drop bag. This worked well but the handhelds didn't melt fast enough. Oh, and I wore my T-Star shorts (red) and had numerous compliments on them (from both men and women). I had only one spot of chafe but beyond that, they performed awesomely.

Start to MM 11 - 8:55 (less than a mile)
MM 12 - 12:20
MM 13 - 12:03 (includes an aid station)
MM 14 - 11:57
MM 14 - 19:10 (longer than a mile - far eastern turnaround)
MM 13 - (missed this split so it's part of the next one)
MM 12 -25:51
MM 11 - 12:34
MM 10 - 13:11
MM 9 - 13:01
MM 8 - 15:24 (includes aid station)
MM 7 - 15:18
MM 6 - 15:51 (includes gun range bypass)
MM 5 - 14:13
MM 4 - 18:00 (includes aid station)
MM 3 - 13:47
MM 2 - 14:35
MM 1 - 14:21
MM 0 - 13:57
MM 1 - 17:53
MM 2 - 15:17
MM 3 - 15:55
MM 4 - 16:45
MM 5 - 18:10 (includes aid station)
MM 6 - 16:09
MM 7 - 19:03 (includes gun range bypass)
MM 8 - 15:35
MM 9 - 15:57 (includes aid station)
MM 10 - 14:57
MM 10 to Finish - 27:15 (about a mile and a half or so)
Finish - 7:37:38

Sunday, August 05, 2012

Does a bear poop in the woods?

So this morning I got up at 4:30 am and managed to get out on the trail by 5:30 am. My original intent was to go out and do a solid 50k. Between a few months ago when I came up with this back-to-back 50k weekend and this morning, that plan changed many times. It gradually went from 30 miles to 20 to 10 to just whatever I could do. Turns out, my feet could only do 6 miles. I was actually clear-headed and motivated to go out and do more but between some suck-ass blisters and a hip that wasn't feeling so great, I just decided to call it a success at 6 miles. After all, I do my best to put the suck in success.

As for the walk, and it was most certainly a walk, it was pretty sedate. I saw one black snake, one rabbit, and two deer. And a large, but dead, caterpillar. I also picked up a few pieces of trash from yesterday's race, but there wasn't very much.

Most of the walk was dealing with the stiff muscles and the painful blisters. Mostly my body wasn't happy and that was the big hurdle. My brain was ready for more, my body wasn't. Oh well. At least I got a few more miles in!

See? I told you it was dark out.

And this is my face after a 50k yesterday and 6 miles today. Blergh.

Temps were 75F at the start and warmed up a hair by the finish. There wasn't much wind. The moon was a waning gibbous and fairly bright. The sun eventually rose and the skies were clear. Humidity was high.

Fluids and Fuel:
Since I knew I was walking, I stopped for a huge breakfast burrito and an iced latte. And then decided to splurge with two hash browns. The rest of the time I was just drinking water. Recovery was an apple fritter and iced tea (the diet of champions!).

Aches and Pains:
One blister on my left toe, one blister on each heel, and some chafe in an unmentionable spot. The balls of my feet are sore and tender but don't have blisters. Right hip hurts whenever I pick my leg up. Outside of that, most everything feels fine, just a little sore.

Wore my hydration pack. And that was about the only special thing I had going on.

Codename - Does a bear poop in the woods?
Yes. But only when he's in the woods.

Mile 1 - 25:08 (includes eating breakfast while walking)
Mile 2 - 21:55
Mile 3 - 21:57
Mile 4 - 25:39 (includes a bathroom break)
Mile 5 - 24:22
Mile 6 - 18:57 (tried to walk as fast as I could)
Finish - 2:17:58

Friday, August 03, 2012

It's hot hot hot

Just an easy shake-out run before my race on Saturday. Although I shouldn't really call it a race since I'll be running AND walking. And I certainly won't be racing to place on the podium. I'll be happy to finish under the 8 hour cut-off.

Anyway, just an easy run to keep things moving. Nothing too exciting although I did see the third row seat of an SUV in the front yard of somebody's house. And a few houses down, there was a truck bed liner in somebody's ditch. Yeah. These are the types of roads I run on. At least I didn't see any sex toys.

Temps were about 80F. Humidity was high. Sun was out in full. No wind.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was a burrito, yogurt, and iced coffee. During the run I experimented with a frozen mini-flask of Hammer Perpeteum. It seemed to work fine but thawed much faster than expected. I also had a bottle of plain water. Recovery was an iced latte.

Aches and Pains:
None to speak of.

Nothing special.

Codename - It's hot hot hot
Pretty much the same story every summer. It's hot.

Mile 1 - 10:27 (way too fast)
Mile 2 - 13:13 (a little too slow)
Mile 3 - 12:18 (right on pace)
Finish - 37:01

Thursday, August 02, 2012

Podcast - Mile 36 - The 11th Plague

Time for yet another podcast episode. This one starts with a bit of a quote from The Eleventh Plague by Jeff Hirsch. So far, it's been a depressing story to listen to but at the same time, I can't quite quit listening to it. From there, I get even more depressing by asking you, the listener, for money. So if you want to send me some, send me an email. Just listen to the podcast and you'll hear it.

From there, I get a bit more upbeat and quote the infamous poem about beans making you fart and talk a bit about the Commonwealth Games where my daughter medaled in an event and my son got a rousing cheer from the crowd for wearing his Superman cape.

I also mention a pro-tip for runners out there dealing with sweat in their eyes. Chapstick or BodyGlide on the eyebrows works great. Trust me.

Download or view on Podbean.

Wednesday, August 01, 2012

Batteries Not Included

Just an easy run to shake the legs out and keep the rust off. Nothing too fast or hard, just an easy going, light, sort of fun run. I wanted to go out and have fun but it wasn't really in the cards for me so I just did my best.

Temps were about 80F with a high humidity. It didn't feel hot, just sticky. The clouds were out so it wasn't too sunny.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was a burrito, oatmeal, yogurt, and iced coffee. During the run I had a bottle of water. Recovery as the rest of my iced coffee. My gut wasn't too hot this morning due to last night's dinner but I managed to survive.

Aches and Pains:
Nothing really hurt.

Wore a different hat that I usually wear just to work outside in. Also had my recorder but the batteries died so I couldn't record the full episode I wanted to.

Codename - Batteries Not Included
I went to record my next episode and was about 15 minutes into talking when I checked to see how much time I had left and noticed it had turned off. After about 5 minutes of recording. Bummer.

Oh, and I found yet another dildo. A huge one. That had two ends. But one was chopped off.

Outbound - 23:40
Inbound - 22:11 (my first negative split in ages)
Finish - 45:52