Babybel Mile aka Cheesy Jokes

Report:
I really need a puke face for this one. Why? Because unlike Nick Symmonds and his recent beer mile, I've stepped up the game and ran the first ever Babybel Mile Challenge. That's right. I've done it.

It all started here.

And, with a bit of planning, I was able to procure enough Babybel cheese wheels to choke a dairy cow. Well, okay, there was no planning. I just went to Costco and bought two huge bags of cheese. Turns out, I barely needed half a bag. Why on earth did I think I could eat 28 of these things? Clearly I must have gone crackers.

That's right, there's 28 of those little devils in there.

So I did a short warm-up mile just to get things moving. Then I made a quick bathroom break before heading out for the full thing. The first few were easy enough but my biggest struggle was with the technique. I had to open each one and eat it. It took a few tries but I eventually learned I could chew on one and work on opening another at the same time. But of course by the time I figured it out, I was ready to barf.

It's been two hours since my run and I'm still a bit queasy. I haven't gotten sick but I'm seriously thinking about it.

Okay, the rules are pretty simple. Run a mile outside and eat as many Babybel cheeses as you can. You must carry everything with you. The wrapped cheese (no unwrapping early) and your trash after you unwrap them must remain on your person until you finish the run. No littering. If you puke, you are disqualified. If you poop your pants, you will not be disqualified but you'll have a crappy story to tell. And finally, the scoring. I think I'm going to go with the following equation:

run time (mm:ss) - one minute (1:00) per cheese eaten = finish time (mm:ss)

Now, this could potentially run into the negatives and that's fine. You run a 5 minute mile and eat 8 cheeses and you'll get a -3:00 time (negative three minutes).

So how did I do? Run time was 14:01. Cheeses eaten was 11. My score was a time of 3:01. Feel free to step up to the plate and cut my cheese time.

The aftermath.

Weather:
Temps were about 75F. Sun, no wind, light humidity.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was iced coffee, yogurt, and a breakfast burrito. Yes, I ate breakfast before this challenge. During the run I had water for my warm-up mile then 11 cheeses for the challenge. No recovery.

Aches and Pains:
None other than a very angry stomach.

Gear:
Wore my bike shirt to carry all 28 cheese wheels and felt like I was wearing a fanny pack from 1985 with a Walkman inside.

Codename - Cheesy Jokes
Had enough of them yet? Don't be cowed by my humor. My jokes aren't really that good. In fact, I often feel sheepish when my jokes are so dry, I have to explain them. To myself. Do I have you by the goat yet? Starting to wine? I think I'll stop here before I get too corny.

Splits:
Finish - 14:01