Monday, November 25, 2013

D-I N-O S-A you are an old man

I'm a dinosaur. As in D-I N-O S-A you are an old man. Getting old sucks. I wish I was a kid again. But I'm not nor will I be. Which means I just have to suck it up and deal with it. So I did. Oddly, sitting it what hurts the most. Running feels just fine. I just wasn't really in the mood to run much.

And of course, it was yet another exciting run. I wasn't even a half mile into the run when suddenly a deer makes its way across the trail. And then another one takes off behind me. And then I get three steps down the trail and hear splashing in the swamp next to me. Turns out about 5 of them took off ACROSS the damn swamp. What the hell? Never saw that before.

A few more steps down the trail and a dog suddenly appeared in front of me. I stopped, heard voices, and saw the humans coming off a hunting access road. They weren't hunters, just walkers. And once I saw them, I saw the two other dogs. I didn't recognize the black lab and the German Shepard at first, but once I saw the yappy white small dog I knew they were cool and wouldn't bite me. So their owner came down to calm them down and I continued on my merry way.

From there, I continued on and made my way to the old bridge before turning around. I was struggling with my hear rate but it would eventually become a lost cause. My resting heart rate was higher than normal this morning but I took it later than normal and after my breakfast. On top of all this, my back got tweaked yesterday making beds. Bent over and suddenly I'm on the floor in pain trying to crawl to my foam roller. Oddly, during the run I felt fine. Sitting in the car hurt but laying on the floor felt good. Seems to be twisting in certain directions or certain movements trigger the pain but outside of that, it's just a nagging feeling that something's there.

On the way back to the car, I passed another dog off their leash. This one was behind a home, a good 15 feet above me on the embankment, and didn't look too happy to see me. On top of that, it looked like a pit bull. I'm not saying all pit bulls are mean, but they do have a reputation of being treated poorly by owners. So I pulled my knife and kept it handy just in case. The dog didn't chase me so I eventually pocketed my knife and carried on. Thankfully the dog appeared to be well trained enough to not chase strangers.

And that was about it.


Just a downed tree.


Temps were 25F at the start and maybe 30F at the end. Sky was overcast. Winds were moderate enough to feel the chill.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was waffles (2), bacon (3), eggs (2), yogurt, bagel, and coffee. A bit larger than normal but I was hungrier than normal. During the run I had two bottles of plain water. Recovery was Hammer Recoverite followed by a lunch of grilled cheese, Cesar salad, and iced tea.

Aches and Pains:
Biggest thing was my back. But like I said, it had no impact on my run. There was some residual tightness but not really any pain. Right ankle also hurt for a few miles but eventually went away.

Wore shorts, pants, and another pair of shorts. Wore thermal shirt, long sleeve shirt, balaclava, winter hat, and gloves. Also took along my knife and phone.

Heart Rate:
Like I said, I struggled to keep it low. I think part of this was the cold and part was worrying about my back.

Mile 0.8 - 11:06 (AVG HR 137)
Mile 1 - 13:46 (AVG HR 140)
Mile 2 - 15:47 (AVG HR 144)
Mile 3 - 20:29 (AVG HR 141)
Mile 4 - 12:58 (AVG HR 146)
Mile 0.8 - 9:26 (AVG HR 145)
Finish - 1:23:35
MIN HR - 98
AVG HR - 142
MAX HR - 165
RHR - 70

Podcast - Mile 74 - Fartlek Failure

First thing I goofed is at the start of this episode where I say it's Mile 73. It isn't. It's Mile 74. Next failure was the attempt to record a short show on my phone. Apparently I could record it, email it, listen to it, but not upload it. Damn.

And then, I forget the exact title and author of the book I wanted to review. Yep, pretty much dropping the ball on everything. The book is called Norse Warfare by Martina Sprague. Here are a few quotes that I liked.

"Cattle die, families, die, you too shall die; but a good reputation never dies, nor a good name."

"All peoples have a need to be remembered in death and runes were the Vikings' vehicle for posterity."

Oh, and that part about calling this episode Dick Snot, well, I decided not to do that either. So you guessed it, I failed at a bunch of stuff and complained about it all. Oh, and the book writing? I'll just let you guess how that's going.

So there you have it. A lump of failures all in one episode and it's available all on SoundCloud. Enjoy!

Friday, November 22, 2013

Hidden Cemetery

This run sucked. Two minutes after starting, I was fighting the urge to turn around and quit. I really wanted a shower and a nap. But I stuck it out. Only to have a constant fight on my hands with my heart rate. I was aiming for the 140s but struggled to keep it in the 150s. It felt like every time I looked down, I was in the 160s. Even when I was walking. Or going down hill. It sucked.

Then there's the State Conservation officer that drove by me. I tried flagging him down to ask him questions about the dead deer I saw earlier and about racoons and coyotes but he just kept driving. Guess he thought I was waving and not waving him down. Oh well.

Almost forgot to mention, I found a hidden cemetery. On the way out I saw some super-bright flowers up on a knoll just off the road. On my way back I went to investigate and sure enough, a small cemetery with maybe 10 graves in it. Kinda neat and kinda creepy.


This would be yet another beaver dam (different road than this morning).

And this is the hidden cemetery.



Temps were around 60F. Winds were a bit stronger. Still overcast. Slight increase in humidity.

Fluids and Fuel:
During the run I had a bottle of Hammer Fizz. About 15 minutes in I had an apple sauce pouch. Recovery was Hammer Recoverite followed by some nearly vegetarian chili.

Aches and Pains:
My ass hurt from forgetting to put lube on. It wasn't too painful but it was very annoying.

Wore the same stuff from this morning but I stripped off the gloves after half a mile. Buff came off for some of the run too.

Outbound - 25:59 (AVG HR 150)
Inbound - 27:58 (AVG HR 156)
Finish - 53:27
MIN HR - 111
AVG HR - 153
MAX HR - 185

Body Dump

Don't know why I couldn't just run an extra tenth of a mile to get a nice round 7 miles in but oh well, close enough and my time was limited anyway. Today's run involved lots of dead bodies. Specifically deer. The first body I smelled but couldn't see. On my return trip I'd smell it again and eventually saw it up on the other side of the berm (that's what us country folk call the other side of a ditch). The second body I saw the other day during my run. It's hard to tell if it was one body in two pieces or just two bodies. Either way a large chunk was in the road and another chunk was in the beaver pond. Wish I could say I felt sorry for the beavers but I don't. Little fuckers can suck it. Speaking of beavers, I found their lodge. Right on the edge of the road between the road and the fence. And the fence is on the edge of their swamp. Not sure how I missed it after running by it so many times. The third body was another one I could smell, although barely. After taking a few extra looks around the area as I ran by, I eventually saw a rib cage sticking out of a trash bag.

Now, I have no idea if these deer were hit by cars or were killed by hunters. But the deer in the water and the deer in the trash bag are pretty solid signs of a hunter that doesn't give a shit about the carcass or the people around him. Those kind of hunters piss me off. Especially the one that stuffed the deer in a trash bag. I mean, you took the time and energy to put in the bag, why not take it to the dump? Idiots.

And, that wasn't all I found. I'm pretty used to finding crazy shit when I run. From the mundane golf balls to the bizarre giant dildos. Today was a pile of clothes in the ditch. Like a dude just stripped naked and left his clothes there. And a little further down the road was a bag of trash. Fairly normal in the country for dumb rednecks to litter, even an entire trash bag. But this bag was in a tree. A good ten feet high. Like they threw it towards the woods, they underestimated their strength, and it never came back down. More idiots.

The rest of the run was uneventful. Thankfully. Oh, and that word, uneventful, was my son's new vocabulary word last night at dinner. I said "I had an uneventful day." He asked what that meant, I explained it, and then he says "I had an uneventful day too." At least somebody in this world is smart.

The bag of trash in the tree. At first glance, I thought it was a hornet's nest.


Temps were about 50F. Winds were light to moderate. Sun was out for a little bit then the clouds came in.

Fluids and Fuel:
Before the run I had half a coffee. During the run I had a bottle of Hammer Fizz and about half a bottle of plain water. Recovery was waffles (3), eggs (2), bacon (3), and coffee. Was going to have Hammer Recoverite but felt pretty full after eating the food.

Aches and Pains:
Left shin hurt for the first mile or so. Not a bad pain, just enough to register. First 2 or 3 miles my stomach felt pretty sour. Likely caused by my lousy breakfast yesterday haunting me. Once I started drinking the Hammer Fizz, it felt better. Right glute started to hurt a bit in the last half mile when I tried pushing the pace a little harder. So I eased off a bit while keeping the speed up as much as I could.

Wore two shorts, thermal shirt, short sleeve shirt, Buff, and winter gloves. Also carried my large pepper spray and an apple sauce that I didn't eat.

Heart Rate:
Ran, without walking, for the first 17 minutes. Didn't really need to take a break then for my heart rate but my brain got the better of me and made me walk. Was able to keep my heart rate in Zone 2 fairly easily through the first half. During the second half it would creep up into the 150s so I'd slow down. Did a moderate push at the end but nothing too drastic. Just wasn't feeling super-fast today.

Outbound - 44:16 (AVG HR 139)
Inbound - 44:15 (AVG HR 146)
Finish - 1:28:32
MIN HR - 89
AVG HR - 143
MAX HR - 171
RHR - 61

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Cold Gravel

Managed to squeeze in my run between work and more work. Which means I pretty much skipped lunch but I did take in some calories, just not much in the way of solid food. During the run I saw a whole lot of nothing. A few cars passed me on the back roads but that's fairly normal. And even though the sun was out, it was damn chilly with the wind blowing. For the first time in forever, I actually crossed the road to stay in the sun. When it was safe of course. Remember, I live in the sticks. Proof being the alert sent out by the county's Sheriff's office asking for help in identifying the owner of two goats that were found. Yup, goats.


Can you guess what's missing?


Temps were about 40F but light to moderate winds kicked in the wind chill a bit. Sun was out in full, no humidity.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was waffles (4), eggs (2), bacon (3), yogurt, and coffee. Should have dialed things back on the waffles but they looked so damn good. During the run I had a bottle of plain water, a bottle of Hammer Fizz, and a pouch of apple sauce. Recovery was two servings of Hammer Recoverite (one before my shower and one after) and some Belvita breakfast cookies.

Aches and Pains:
Right knee, right hamstring, and right glute felt tweaky but nothing too bad. Just enough to notice. Knee hurt the worst and it was more of a dull throb/ache that was likely due to being used.

Wore shorts, pants, thermal shirt, short sleeved shirt, warm ball cap, headband that doubled as ear warmer, and I carried my gun. Turns out this pair of pants holds them quite nicely.

Heart Rate:
Guess what I left in my wife's truck yesterday? Not my heart rate strap, no, my heart rate monitor. That damn little thing that snaps onto the strap. So I guessed at what it was and tried to keep it in check when I needed to. At least I remembered to take my resting heart rate this morning.

Outbound - 51:24 (AVG HR was probably around 150)
Inbound - 48:37 (AVG HR was probably around 165)
Finish - 1:40:02 (AVG HR was probably around 155 to 160)
MIN HR - probably around 100
AVG HR - probably around 155 to 160
MAX HR - probably around 180
RHR - 56

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Podcast - Mile 74 - Attachment Error

As I meander down the trail, I get a little down and dirty on inappropriate attachments and inappropriate relationships. I feel bad when these attachments form but I'm learning that the guilt really shouldn't be there. I don't act on these bonds and I don't want them. They're a lot like my negative thoughts and paranoia. Over time, I've gotten better at curbing them (the negative and paranoid thoughts) so these bad bonds are next on my list. Thankfully, they don't happen often and I know that I need to work on this to be a better person.

In other news, I'm still recording shows but seem to be losing steam in posting them. Hopefully I can improve that as well.

Finally, Podbean has officially kicked me off their site. I'm tired of paying them money for a service that SoundCloud can do for free. I'm not made of money and nobody pays me to do this. So until I find a rich uncle that's willing to give me millions, don't expect any major improvements in the show.

You can form an ionic or covalent bond with this episode on SoundCloud.

Monday, November 18, 2013

Evil Deeds

Today's run was decent. Not super-great and not super-horrible. So, all in all, it was decent. Saw a few deer off the trail, waiting patiently for me to pass them by, and saw a couple of walkers arriving as I was leaving. Aside from that, I was all alone and left to think about, well, everything. Everything from an imaginary military mission to the naughty things I want to do with a woman.

Anyway, the run wasn't exactly within my heart rate zones as planned but as soon as I got warmed up, I was able to keep a decent pace, even though it was Zone 3.



Temps were 60F, sun was out in full, and humidity was moderate. There was a cool breeze most of the time.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was three waffles, two eggs, three slices of bacon, yogurt, and an iced coffee. During the run I had plain water and an apple sauce pouch at 50 minutes. Recovery was an iced latte followed by a bean chili.

Aches and Pains:
Legs felt sluggish and a little tired on the way back. Aside form that, felt okay. During the push at the end, my left hamstring tightened up a bit but I think it was because I didn't bring any Hammer Fizz.

Wore shorts, cycle jersey, visor, and hydration pack.

Heart Rate:
Was able to keep it in Zone 2 for the first half of the run, then I felt warmed up and struggle to keep it in a low Zone 3. I could tell I was running too fast but it was a struggle to go any slower. So I just tried to take more walking breaks even though I didn't feel like taking them.

Starting 0.8 - 10:52 (AVG HR 137)
Mile 1 - 14:49 (AVG 143)
Mile 2 - 18:55 (AVG HR 152) (includes about 5 minutes to install trail camera and go to the bathroom)
Mile 3 - 14:24 (AVG HR 154)
Mile 4 - 14:13 (AVG HR 154)
Mile 5 - 13:47 (AVG HR 153)
Ending 0.8 - 8:38 (AVG HR 164) (includes moderate push at the end)
Finish - 1:35:41
MIN HR - 97
AVG HR - 151
MAX HR - 184
RHR - 65

Monday, November 11, 2013

Hearing Voices

I did not want to run this morning. Apparently neither did my body. After a long Saturday with my new hooker Ashley, I was pretty sore and pooped on Sunday. I did my best to recover and chill out but man, I never knew I had all those muscles. Clearly Ashley can handle more wood than I can.

Anyway, I got some coffee in me, hit the bathroom, and managed to get out the door before I thought twice about it. Once on the trail, I was feeling super sluggish and kind of like a zombie. I could barely get my heart rate up where I expected it to be and my stride, cadence, and breathing were all over the place. I don't think I hit any kind of consistency until the last mile or so. I did manage to get in my Fartlek spurts every half mile or so. But beyond that, I was just a hot mess out there.

I did hear some voices across the swamp that I assumed were hunters since they were yelling at a dog. But I didn't hear gunshots and the geese and ducks in the swamp didn't drop dead all of a sudden. Not that they should have since it's deer season, not waterfowl season.


Glad to put that run behind me.

Temps were about 30F at the start and may have gotten to 35F by the end. No wind, no humidity, and the sun was out in full.

Fluids and Fuel:
Before the run I had a little bit of coffee. During the run I had one bottle of plain water. Recovery was Hammer Recoverite, a little more coffee, and some yogurt.

Aches and Pains:
Right hamstring feels like I strained it a bit on Saturday with Ashley. Felt tweaky at the start of the run but after warming up it just felt tender and not as painful. Lower back is also sore but I think I slept funny. Everything else was fine.

No special gear. Wore shorts, pants, thermal shirt, long sleeve shirt, winter hat, gloves, and a neck gaiter.

Heart Rate:
Struggled to get my heart rate above 135 for the first mile or so. Once I got into Zone 2, I barely ran out of it, even on my Fartlek pushes. And my speed pushes barely got above 150 even though I felt like I was running as hard as I could.

Mile 0.3 - 4:26 (AVG HR 123)
Half Mile - 5:57 (AVG HR 130)
Mile 1 - 14:35 (AVG HR 137)
Mile 2 - 12:36 (AVG HR 145)
Mile 3 - 12:25 (AVG HR 148)
Half Mile - 5:33 (AVG HR 147)
Mile 0.3 - 3:35 (AVG HR 145)
Finish - 59:09
MIN HR - 62
AVG HR - 141
MAX HR - 171

Friday, November 08, 2013

Dick Snot - The Run

Today's run was another positive one. Probably the second or third in the past couple of weeks. Which is pretty rare for me so I'm enjoying it as much as I can. I managed to meet the goal in my training plan and even squeak in an extra mile under the time goal. All while taking a sump in the last half mile. Ha!

Meandered my fat ass down the trail and felt sleepy but okay. My sides, back, and ass weren't hurting as much as they were earlier in the week so that was nice. I was maybe 3 miles into my run before I realized that the 2 hour mark was my goal for my February race. As in I want to run 8 mile loops in two hours or less in February. So it suddenly became my goal for today's run. Which I didn't really need the extra pressure since the terrain isn't exactly the same and I had plenty of time to beat that mark. But it was still nice to have that as a bit of a measuring stick to focus on.

Along my run I saw two deer, several hunters' trucks, two walkers, and one hallucination. I swear I saw another runner but as I continued down the trail the runner never materialized and all I saw was a post and a tree stump. Yup. Should have had more coffee.

I did have a bit of an upset stomach the last two or three miles and I think it was a combination of too much corn yesterday, too much milk yesterday, and having my second pouch of applesauce too soon after the first one. I kept plodding along and made it to half a mile from the end of my run before I needed to purge my colon. After that I was able to hoof it back at a decent pace.


Some crazy mushrooms at the start of my run.

The railroad tracks at the midway point of my run.


Temps were about 35F at the start but warmed to about 45F by the end. Sky was clear, sun was out, no humidity, and barely any wind.

Fluids and Fuel:
Before the run I had a little bit of iced coffee and a small coffee cake bar. During the run I had about two bottles worth of plain water. I took my first applesauce pouch at 45 minutes and my second one at an hour and 15 minutes. I should have waited another 15 minutes but I survived. Recovery was two lousy breakfast burritos and an iced latte.

Aches and Pains:
My right knee felt a little tired around mile 5 or so but the pain went away. Or I managed to ignore it enough to not notice.

Wore a winter hat, gloves, Buff, thermal shirt, long sleeve shirt, shorts, pants, and gaiters. Took my Nathan hydration pack and my voice recorder.

Heart Rate:
I really, really tried to focus on my zones early in the run and managed them well through the first 6 and a half miles. Then I saw the walkers and knew I had to pass them in the last mile and a half before my car. So I pushed the pace, a little, until I got to my car. Then I realized I still had time to squeeze in another mile so I did. The last half mile, after my dump, was pretty speedy and my heart rate was high.

Mile 1 - 13:40 (AVG HR 131)
Mile 2 - 14:00 (AVG HR 138)
Mile 3 - 14:02 (AVG HR 143)
Mile 4 - 14:26 (AVG HR 144)
Parking Lot Spur - 3:42 (AVG HR 134)
Mile 5 - 14:02 (AVG HR 144)
Mile 6 - 13:17 (AVG HR 149)
Mile 7 - 13:18 (AVG HR 150)
Mile 8 - 12:16 (AVG HR 165)
Mile 9 - 13:18 (AVG HR 165) (includes poop break)
Finish - 2:06:05
MIN HR - 85
AVG HR - 147
MAX HR - 186

Monday, November 04, 2013

I See Dead Deer

I did not want this run. I did not want to do this run. I do not like green eggs but I do like ham. This run was cut short by my apathy. I just didn't feel like running and something just didn't feel right about running. But I quelled the negative voices as much as I could manage and somehow talked myself into running an extra ten minutes on my out and back to hit the 40 minute mark before I finally turned around. I was surprised I made it that far. I wanted to turn around at the 30 minute mark so I guess I did pretty good in that respect.

Along the way, I saw a flock of vultures feasting on a dead deer. It smelled pretty bad but thankfully I only had to pass it twice. Beyond that, things were pretty quiet. Until I heard a low flying helicopter behind, turned around to look at it, and was surprised to see the Eye of Sauron looking down upon me. Actually it was the sun with a rainbow halo but it looked like a giant eye to me.



Temps were about 40F to 45F. The sun was out and there was no humidity. Winds were moderate at about 20 mph.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was two eggs, two waffles, two slices of bacon, yogurt, and coffee. During the run I had a bottle of plain water and an applesauce pouch at the 30 minute mark. Recovery was lobster bisque, salad, and Hammer Recoverite.

Aches and Pains:
Nothing to speak of.

Wore shorts, pants, thermal top, long sleeve shirt, winter hat, gloves, and a buff.

Heart Rate:
My heart rate was right up there with my apathy; way too high. Tried to mitigate it as best as I could but it just wasn't working.

Outbound - 40:04 (AVG HR 146)
Inbound - 41:04 (AVG HR 154)
Finish - 1:21:08
MIN HR - 99
AVG HR - 150
MAX HR - 174

Podcast - Mile 72 - Piss Moan Bitch

Damn is that clacking sound annoying. Sorry. That's what you get when you listen to a show that makes no money and doesn't edit anything out. This particular episode was recorded right after the last one where I was suddenly lost at the end of the show. As in I didn't know where to go on the trail. But I found my way and survived the trip. Sucks for you.

The rest of the episode is mostly about me pissing and moaning and bitching about the rough week I was having. Working late at work, taking care of a sick kid, and a lack of training made me pretty grumpy. But I survived and learned a few lessons. Like stay flexible. Like family comes first. Like trust your gut. Like if you have the chance to run, do it. Like my son can be really nerdy.

Enjoy this episode on Podbean and SoundCloud. Or, you can download it directly here.

Oh, yeah, don't forget, you can always send me an email at if you want to piss and moan and bitch about the show.

Friday, November 01, 2013

The Creep

Was nervous about getting this run in before the rain, before the giant storm, and before work. Thankfully I beat them all. My heart rate zones suffered a bit because of it but it got done and I was happy with it. Some how I managed to beat the rain by over an hour and made it to work on time. Sort of.

Anyway, the run went better than expected. I retrieved one trail camera so the first few miles were a bit heavy with the extra weight. Not to mention a bit annoying with the damn strap digging into my neck. Note to self, the free messenger bag isn't conducive to running. The second part of the run was much easier since I was able to ditch the extra gear and get down to just one bottle. Made for a more comfortable run.

Along the run I got to see two young bucks, four points or less. One was pretty alert, saw me, then ran away. The other was pretty sluggish, saw me, them meandered away looking for coffee.

Temps were 70F, humidity was mild to moderate, and the sky was overcast. Winds were heavy around 20 to 40 mph.

Fluids and Fuel:
Before the run I had half an iced coffee. Drank one bottle of plain water and one bottle of Hammer Fizz during the run. An hour into the run I had an applesauce packet. Recovery was a breakfast burrito and iced latte.

Aches and Pains:
Nothing really hurt other than the messenger bag digging into my neck for a few miles.

Dragged along the messenger bag to recover the trail camera. Only needed it for about 3 miles before ditching it. Same goes for my second handheld and my headlamp. Wore shorts, t-shirt, and hat. Also wore my free gaiters, but in the right direction this time.

Heart Rate:
Struggled to stay in Zone 2, primarily due to the heat. Finally said screw it over the last 2 miles and gradually increased the heart rate. Pushed it hard over the last half mile.

Mile 1 - 13:40 (AVG HR 136)
Mile 2 - 18:40 (AVG HR 137)
Mile 3 - 16:27 (AVG HR 147)
Mile 4 - 14:53 (AVG HR 144)
Mile 5 - 14:15 (AVG HR 147)
Mile 6 - 14:58 (AVG HR 148)
Mile 7 - 14:11 (AVG HR 150)
Mile 8 - 12:58 (AVG HR 162) [first half mile was 7:30 with HR of 151, second half mile was my hard push at 5:28 with HR of 172]
Finish - 2:00:06
MIN HR - 83
AVG HR - 146
MAX HR - 185