I'm slowly getting better at asking for help. Slowly. I still hate doing it and I'm not sure why. Maybe I see it as a sign of weakness. Maybe I see it as a failure in my upbringing. I don't know. It's just hard. I want to do everything the best that I can and I want to do it myself. I want to be in control. I think I'm the best. Well, at some things at least. So asking for help with something is hard.
The really sad part is that typically when I ask for help, and I get help, I feel so much better. So much less stress to worry about. So much less weight to carry around. I don't have that extra burden of whatever that monkey on my back is. Or was. Sometimes I enjoy that ability to not worry about the problem. The dishes. The laundry. The oil change. Whatever it is, it's nice to just sit back and relax and know that it's getting done. Granted, I don't always relax because my "I gotta be in control" voice flares up and screams "NO! THAT'S NOT HOW YOU LOAD THE DISHWASHER!!!!!!"
But I also know that that's a stupid thing to think. In the case of the dishwasher, my wife is capable of loading and unloading the thing. She may not do it the way I want it done but that doesn't mean it won't work. Hell, even I forget and do it the "wrong" way sometimes.
Anyway, the point of this is, I need help. No, not right now. Well, I do, but this isn't a red flag I'm throwing up asking everyone to call me. What I'm getting at is I need help. I'm getting help. I will get help. I have gotten help. And the help, well, it helps. So if you're out there cracking under the pressure of something that's too much for you to handle, don't be afraid to reach out and ask somebody to help. It could be something small like picking up your newspaper in the morning or something big like paying off your credit card debt. Whatever it is, don't be afraid. Just sit down, ask, and see what happens. Hopefully you'll only need to ask for help once before somebody says yes. But if you do need to ask more than one person before finding somebody willing to help out, don't feel bad about that either. Sometimes people have too much of their own shit to worry about.