A Garden Update

Haven't talked about my garden in awhile so I thought it would be a perfect time to give a little update.

Pretty much everything is dead.

Yup, I have a pretty good green thumb, but only when I don't use it. If I just let things grow on their own they appear to do quite well. When I decide to intervene, things die.

As you can see here, in July I was doing great by doing nothing.

A few weeks later I started noticing a large increase in stink bugs. I read something online that said you could use a soapy solution to keep them off. Well, it turns out Simple Green doesn't count as a soapy solution. Even when it's watered down. How do I know? Because this is what was left after I removed the dead stuff.

While there is some hope for the tomato plants to maybe, just maybe produce something before winter, I don't think it's going to happen. It's been a mild summer which makes me think it's going to be a harsh winter. Or at least a winter is coming sooner than normal. Oh well. Lesson learned.

Buzz Buzz

A nice, slow, easy run. Still trying to get the hang of the whole "Zone" thing but I think a heart rate monitor will eventually get me there. Just need to get one. Keeping in mind that I needed to be in Zone 2, I did my best to start off slower than normal. Maybe I went too slow I don't know but I felt sluggish. As usual. Once I got to my turn around point, I did a little fiddling with the trail camera which cost me a few extra minutes. I think in the end it helped as it did a bit of a reset on my internal pace calculator. Once I started up again, I felt more at ease with my pace and a little smoother in my stride.

Horse flies were crazy this morning. Not sure if it was the recent rain or my red hat. I know they like the color blue but man they liked me this morning. And they kept buzzing my legs for some reasons which is really odd since they tend to buzz my head and neck. And I found one tick on me when I finished. He was dealt with.

Vine:


Photos:
The trail looked a little darker than this due to the clouds.

Some crazy looking dude growing. I hear he's a fun guy.

Weather:
Temps were about 77F. Humidity was moderate to high. Partly cloudy with a few sprinkles that never quite reached me through the tree canopy.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was half an iced coffee. During the run I had two bottles of plain water. Recovery was a breakfast scramble, yogurt, and the rest of my coffee.

Aches and Pains:
Nothing really hurt. I did take a funny step when I stepped on a sharp rock but I recovered easily enough.

Gear:
No special gear. I used some natural cedar oil to keep the bugs off my legs but I'm not sure if it worked.

Experiment:
Carried my large pepper spray and my cell phone. Had no issues with either of them.

Splits:
Mile 1 - 14:33
Mile 2 - 14:41
Mile 3 - 22:33 (includes several minutes repositioning the trail camera)
Mile 4 - 14:00 (includes pee break)
Mile 5 - 12:35
Finish - 1:18:24

Podcast - Mile 66 - No Sex, Just Divorce

What in the hell does that title mean? It means that I won't talk about sex in my podcast. Or in my blog. At least not my sex life. Believe it or not, I do have boundaries. Want to talk about sex? No problem. But don't expect me to talk about what I did in bed last night.

And the divorce part is really the meat of this podcast. I get into the history of how divorce impacted my life and what it means to me. Granted, I can't go into all sorts of details because there just isn't the time in one mile. But I cover some of the highlights that were at the top of my mind when I recorded. The topic has been on the front burner lately because of therapy and I'm glad I'm working through it. Although I don't always feel like there's anything to work through. Because of my age at the time of my parent's divorce, I've never really felt like it happened to me. It's always felt like it happened to some other kid and I just took over his life a few years later.

Anyway, if you're feeling happy, this is a great episode to listen to to bring you down a bit. If you're feeling sad, hopefully this doesn't send you over the edge. It's more deep than dark. You can listen to the episode on Podbean or download it directly here. I'm also considering a move to SoundCloud so if you have their app, you can listen there as well.

Rita Run and Ride

Run
Yep, got overheated again. Should have pushed to do this all in the morning when it was super nice but due to the usual family obligations, I had to push things back to this afternoon. Which ended up working out but man, the temps were higher than I had hoped for.

Aside from the heat, I was feeling sluggish and crampy pretty much the entire time. I didn't feel dehydrated but that may have been a factor. I didn't get quite as overheated as the other day but I think I knew it was coming so I just slowed down earlier to prevent it.

Most interesting of all was the reaction I got from the cars passing by. Nearly all of them would wave or give me plenty of room as they passed. Nearly the complete opposite of how my bike ride went. Really starting to understand why cyclists have an attitude to those driving cars. Bunch of wankers.


On a side note, I saw an extraordinary number of StrawBEERita cans. Based on the numbers I saw, the area drinkers prefer the strawberry flavor over the regular margarita flavor four to one.

Photos:
Some of the pretty flowers on the route.

 First floor is nearly done.

StrawBEERita!

Weather:
Temps were about 80F to 85F. Humidity was moderate to high. Sun was out in full. Light and cool breeze.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was yogurt and iced coffee. Lunch was a bacon cheeseburger, fries, and iced tea. Had half a Coke on the ride home. During the run I had a bottle of Hammer Fizz and a bottle of plain water. Should have used ice in both of them.

Aches and Pains:
Nothing really hurt but I felt stiff and sore in the legs. Felt a little like concrete shoes but not quite.

Gear:
No special gear but I ran shirtless.

Experiment:
Wore my phone in STRETCH and it worked fine. Carried my knife in my shorts and had no issues.

Splits:
Outbound - 33:16
Inbound - 33:03
Finish - 1:06:20

Transition - 10:09

Bike
The ride was much easier than the run. Going fast helped cool me down. It also gave me a bit of a break and I could rehydrate and get back to a more balanced feeling. Still felt sluggish but did my best to stay steady and just ride.


Tried to do the planned 95 rpm but could only max out around 80 rpm. Even going down hill in a low gear it was hard to go much higher than that.

Vine:



Weather:
Temps were about 80F to 85F. Humidity was moderate to high. Sun was out in full. Light and cool breeze.

Fluids and Fuel:
During the ride I had a bottle of Hammer Fizz and a bottle of plain water. Finished all of the Fizz but only half of the water. Recovery was some yard work followed by a dinner of sushi (California style with brown rice) and rice.

Aches and Pains:
Nothing really hurt until the last 20 minutes or so when my left hip started to flare up for some reason. Outside of that, things felt fine, just tired.

Gear:
No special gear.

Experiment:
Carried my phone and my knife in my jersey and had no issues.

Splits:
Finish - 1:00:42

There Will Be Blood

This was tougher than expected. And slower. I had 1:15 on the plan for Zone 2 (yeah, still learning what that means to me - I'm sure I'll get it but I wasn't too worried about it today). I managed to hit my turn around pretty close to my halfway point but then crashed and burned with half a mile left. Haven't run in the heat that much this summer and haven't run this long on a regular basis so I have plenty of excuses why my fat ass couldn't go as fast as I wanted to. But I'm happy to have finished in one piece.

The run itself would end up being tougher than I first thought. Tough enough to make me a little nervous when I saw the blood. But more on that later. Outside of the blood, the run was mostly hot and humid. Saw a lizard just chilling in the middle of the road and when I ran back the other way I'm pretty sure he was squished to hell. I felt bad for the guy, but only a little. I'm not a big lizard fan.

Vine:


Photos:
A new house going up.

The last photo that will ever be taken of this lizard. Poor guy didn't last long.

Weather:
Temps were 85F to 90F. Humidity was moderate to high. Sun was out in full. No wind.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was a burrito, an egg, yogurt, and iced coffee. Had a glass of orange juice a couple hours after that. Had a mini-lunch of chips, cheese, and ham about an hour before the run. During the run I had a bottle of Hammer Fizz with a little ice and a bottle of plain water with no ice. Finished both. Recovery was Hammer Recoverite with a little milk and chocolate ZICO.

Aches and Pains:
Now we get to the scary part. The run hurt like I expected it to. I was hot, tired, stiff, and sore. That was all normal. The outbound leg went okay but on the way back I started to chafe a little. It gradually got worse but wasn't bad enough to make me walk or hobble. The last two miles or so I felt a little better energy-wise and picked up the pace a little but with about half a mile left I crashed and started to overheat. I got hot enough to get goosebumps. When I took my shorts off I saw blood where a man never wants to see blood. Turns out it wasn't too bloody but I had indeed chafed more than I thought I did. Hoping the A+D ointment clears things up.

Gear:
No special gear.

Experiment:
Carried my phone in STRETCH and a knife in my shorts. Both rode well with no issues.

Splits:
Outbound - 37:56
Inbound - 40:27
Finish - 1:18:24

A Missed Tree

Not exactly an easy run but it was a nosy run. Saw the construction signs up this morning for some road work and I knew I needed to see what was happening. And since I didn't get my trail run in this morning since my wife needed help with her bulletin board (yes, I'm a teacher spouse), I knew I'd get a chance to actually see the work. So that's what I did. Went to be nosy and see what work they were doing.

Turns out they were just trimming the trees. I was bummed. Partly because I was hoping they would work on the ditch on both sides since they're pretty intense (like nearly 4 feet deep in some sections). I was also partly bummed because they didn't even trim the entire road. In fact, they turned around before the bottom of the hill where I ran past a branch hanging on a phone line. Um, guys? You missed a tree here.

Vine:



Photo:
I'm a lumberjack and I totally have saw-envy. I could really have fun with one of these.

Weather:
Temps were about 85F. Humidity was high. Partly cloudy sky but I was in the sun the entire time. Light wind.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was a burrito, yogurt, and iced coffee. I had a snack of an iced latte and an apple fritter a few hours before the run. During the run I had a bottle of Hammer Fizz. Recovery was Hammer Recoverite and leftover roast with rice and green beans. And a few marshmallows for dessert.

Aches and Pains:
Felt sluggish and tired but nothing really hurt. I pushed it hard up the first hill to get out of the work crew's way. I could feel the extra effort on the way back as I struggled to make it up the hill.

Gear:
No special gear.

Experiment:
Wore my phone in STRETCH. Stashed my knife in my shorts. Everything rode well.

Splits:
Outbound - 21:40
Inbound - 21:56
Finish - 43:37

Asking For Help

I'm slowly getting better at asking for help. Slowly. I still hate doing it and I'm not sure why. Maybe I see it as a sign of weakness. Maybe I see it as a failure in my upbringing. I don't know. It's just hard. I want to do everything the best that I can and I want to do it myself. I want to be in control. I think I'm the best. Well, at some things at least. So asking for help with something is hard.

The really sad part is that typically when I ask for help, and I get help, I feel so much better. So much less stress to worry about. So much less weight to carry around. I don't have that extra burden of whatever that monkey on my back is. Or was. Sometimes I enjoy that ability to not worry about the problem. The dishes. The laundry. The oil change. Whatever it is, it's nice to just sit back and relax and know that it's getting done. Granted, I don't always relax because my "I gotta be in control" voice flares up and screams "NO! THAT'S NOT HOW YOU LOAD THE DISHWASHER!!!!!!"

But I also know that that's a stupid thing to think. In the case of the dishwasher, my wife is capable of loading and unloading the thing. She may not do it the way I want it done but that doesn't mean it won't work. Hell, even I forget and do it the "wrong" way sometimes.

Anyway, the point of this is, I need help. No, not right now. Well, I do, but this isn't a red flag I'm throwing up asking everyone to call me. What I'm getting at is I need help. I'm getting help. I will get help. I have gotten help. And the help, well, it helps. So if you're out there cracking under the pressure of something that's too much for you to handle, don't be afraid to reach out and ask somebody to help. It could be something small like picking up your newspaper in the morning or something big like paying off your credit card debt. Whatever it is, don't be afraid. Just sit down, ask, and see what happens. Hopefully you'll only need to ask for help once before somebody says yes. But if you do need to ask more than one person before finding somebody willing to help out, don't feel bad about that either. Sometimes people have too much of their own shit to worry about.

Podcast - Mile 65 - Dead Fucking Last

In the ultrarunning world, the letters DFL tend to stand for Dead Fucking Last. Or Dead Freaking Last if you're trying to polite. As you get more comfortable in this niche of runners, you'll learn other things like DNS (Did Not Start), DNF (Did Not Finish), and even DFL > DNF > DNS (as in finishing last is better than not finishing and not finishing is better than not starting). Well for me, it was DFL. And as I said in my race report, I got exactly what I deserved. I didn't train like I should have and it showed. But at least I finished.

In other news, I got to meet Ashland Dave in person. And while I wanted to do some sort of appearance on his show or better yet, do an interview with him, I was (big surprise) barely able to work up enough gumption to just say hello. But I'm glad I did and I'm glad we had the opportunity to chat a little bit.

So there you have it. You can be the last one to listen to it on Podbean, or you download the Caboose yourself here.

Legs

Leg 1
Decided to ride my bike to my trail run in an attempt to add some mileage to the legs without tearing them up completely. The ride was pretty uneventful but I did give a thumbs-up to the two ladies running on the other side of the road.

Photos:
This is the old haunted mansion that I rode past. Kind of a landmark in the area.

Weather:
Temps were about 75F. Light wind. Mostly cloudy. Light humidity.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was yogurt and iced coffee. Drank about half a bottle of plain water. With so little fuel, I'm starting to wonder if I'm turning into Biddz .

Aches and Pains:
None.

Gear:
No special gear.

Experiment:
Took my large pepper spray. Rode well.

Splits:
Finish - 45:35

Leg 2
Felt pretty decent during the run. The weather was nice and it wasn't too sunny. Saw a cyclist at the start and that was it. Had to do some engineering but I managed to swap out the SD cards on both trail cameras.

Photos:
Today's view of the trail.

Weather:
Temps were about 75F. It was windy but you couldn't feel it in the trees. Mostly cloudy with some sun. Light humidity.

Fluids and Fuel:
Had a bottle of plain water.

Aches and Pains:
None but I could feel a lot of the gravel I ran on since I was in my thinner trail shoes.

Gear:
No special gear.

Experiment:
Took my large pepper spray. Rode well.

Splits:
Transition - 7:30
Mile 1 - 12:53 (includes pee break)
Mile 2 - 13:38
Mile 3 - 15:15 (includes SD card swap)
Mile 4 - 12:13
Finish - 53:59

Leg 3
The last leg of the workout was the hardest. I was feeling the lack of fuel and there was a serious headwind on the way back. Strong enough to make it difficult to pedal downhill sometimes.

Weather:
Temps were about 75F. Heavy headwind. Mostly cloudy with some sun. Light humidity.

Fluids and Fuel:
Finished my Hammer Fizz and had more water. Had a few sips of my iced latte. Recovery was, not so good. Pretty much just the iced latte until a few hours later when I managed to score some McDonald's.

Aches and Pains:
None but my legs were pretty thrashed.

Gear:
No special gear.

Experiment:
Took my large pepper spray. Rode well.

Splits:
Finish - 1:05:33 (includes a few minutes getting my iced latte)

And this is what I did when I got home.

Ali Run

Just a nice afternoon run to get the juices going. I managed to remember my squats and pushups before I started my run so I was happy to get those out of the way first. They seem to be a little bit harder after a run.

During the run I think I managed to see all of two cars go by me. Guess the other end of the street isn't as busy. Or maybe it's because I ran down a gravel road that's rarely used. Anyway, the peace and quiet was nice. I was tempted a few times to turn on my music but instead enjoyed the sounds of my heavy breathing and shuffling stride.

I tinkered with a Vine video, watched butterflies float around the road, and killed a horse fly that decided to bite me on my knee. Felt like a damn needle. Hope my smack felt like a damn brick. And the Vine didn't upload so it was lost in the ether. Oh well.

Aside from the horse fly, the run as pretty nice. I even managed to push it up nearly every hill. Not that they were large or anything but they were big enough to make me work.

Photos:
This is one side of the swamp I ran past. Very pretty.

And this is a tiny lizard I nearly stepped on. Oddly enough, he didn't scare me. He's hard to see but he's right in the middle of the picture.

Weather:
Temps were about 75F to 80F. Sun was out. Light breeze. No humidity.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was a burrito, donut, and iced latte (it was a cheat day). During the run I had a bottle of Hammer Fizz and most of a bottle of plain water. Recovery was Hammer Recoverite and a salad with salmon and edamame.

Aches and Pains:
None really. For the most part I felt like I was floating along.

Gear:
No special gear.

Experiment:
Took my .380 and ID. I keep forgetting that the lower pocket bounces too much for the gun. The upper pocket worked great.

Splits:
Outbound - 32:13
Inbound - 31:07
Finish - 1:03:20

Combined

Testing out a bit of a new format. Since today's run and bike were pretty much the same workout, I'm just lumping them into one entry. Deal with it.


Run

Just a short run since I knew I'd be out on my bike right after. Nothing too exciting but I did stop to take some photos. Weather was super-awesome. Run itself was fairly tepid? Boring? Un-exciting? I don't know, it was what it was.

Let's see, what else, oh, I saw the scary dog my wife has seen before. The big dog that's been seen gnawing on a dead possum. It's the first time I've seen him but he just sat there in his yard looking content to chill in the sun. The dogs on the other side of the creek though were a bit more excited about me going by. They didn't chase me but made it known I was too close to their territory. Figures that the small dogs are the scarier ones.

Photos:

Saw these pretty flowers along the way.
 

That's a beer bottle floating in the creek. Or maybe it's just stuck in the mud.

I don't know why, but I'm quickly becoming obsessed with taking a picture of this damn crooked tree.

Weather:
Temps were about 75. Sun was out. Light breeze. No humidity.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was two eggs, three slices of bacon, two slices of toast, yogurt, and iced coffee. I had to get up early and I didn't like it. During the run I had a bottle of plain water. No recovery since I rolled right into my bike.

Aches and Pains:
Felt a little stiff and sore but that's about it.

Gear:
Took my recorder to do a podcast.

Experiment:
Took my phone in STRETCH. Took my large pepper spray. Bounced around a bit more than I wanted thanks to my decision to wear my cycle jersey. I did pull it out when the dogs started barking but never used it.

Splits:
Outbound - 14:53 (not quite accurate since I started late)
Inbound - 15:38
Finish - 30:31

Bike

Today's ride was a pretty normal ride. Got to pedal my fat ass to the local gas station/coffee shop so I can get some sugary goodness disguised as a latte. Along the way I had a nice image in my little rear view mirror of an 18-wheeler drifting over my line as traffic was coming the other way in the other lane. Thankfully the trucker was nice enough to bully over the other driver and give me plenty of room. More room than some of the other butt-head drivers out there. It's amazing the difference in reactions I get as a runner compared to a cyclist.

I also got the usual amount of stares and bizarre looks as I was doing my stuff at Sheetz. Maybe it was some crazy bike dude locking up his bike, maybe it was some crazy bike dude in super-tight shorts inside, or maybe it was some crazy bike dude pouring his iced latte into his water bottle. Who knows.

Anyway, that was pretty much it for the ride. I did manage to safely pass a broken-down truck on the shoulder and safely pass a local pedestrian on his way home with some food from CVS (since he's been kicked out of Sheetz for panhandling).

Weather:
Temps were about 75F. Sun was out in full. Wind was light on the way out and a little stronger on the way back. Humidity was low.

Fluids and Fuel:
Had a bottle of Hammer Fizz on the way out and nothing on the way back. Recovery was homemade chili, Hammer Recoverite, and an iced latte.

Aches and Pains:
Legs felt sore but that was about it.

Gear:
No special gear.

Experiment:
Took my knife, phone, and large pepper spray. All worked fine.

Splits:
Outbound - 17:22
Aid Station - 8:52
Inbound - 16:25
Finish - 33:49 (42:41 total time)

Ultra Runners and Edward Sharpe

Some time ago I was turned onto the musical powerhouse of Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. I had already been an ultra runner for a few years and their music, well, it just kind of spoke to me. It fit right in with that yearning you get when you're out there on the trails, lost in the world of nature with nothing but your thoughts to distract you. So of course when I heard they would be performing on Conan, I was excited. Already a fan of Conan, I watched eagerly, bought their albums, and went on with life. Then, about two years later, I was pleasantly surprised by another appearance on Conan.

This appearance is the trigger for this post. I was watching and suddenly, the dude in the back, looked exactly like Timothy Allen Olson. At first glance, I thought it was the guy up front, on the right, but he was a little to big. Then I saw the guy behind him playing the tall wind chime things and WHAMMO it hit me. These hipster musicians are body-doubles for ultra runners.

At about 2:51 in the video above.

So that's when I decided I needed to write a post, do some research, and come up with some original content. Original content is a bit of a rarity sometimes so I thought I'd do it right. Or at least give my readers a break from reading all those boring training reports I post.

First up, we have the heart and soul of both groups, Anton "Tony" Krupicka and Alexander "Alex" Ebert. There is quite a bit of a striking resemblance. Beards and long hair aside, both are tall and thin and from what I've seen, both even prefer minimalist footwear. Best of all though? Tony has seen Sharpe in concert.

Source: http://charliebroadway.blogspot.com and http://coolspotters.com/

Next up, we have a beauty on both sides in Michelle Barton (she's the second one in this search result listing) and Nora Kirkpatrick. While not quite 20 years separates them in age, they are both wonderful specimens of youth and beauty. Some of you may have seen Nora in The Office, but she also plays accordion in the Magnetic Zeros. And what makes me think these two are body doubles? Besides their good looks? Their hair and their smile. They both stand out like a star in the night sky.

Source: vanessaruns.com and www.flickr.com

Now I feel as though this is a bit of a stretch but there is some semblance of resemblance when both of these guys wear sunglasses. Nick Clark and Christopher Richard (aka Crash) can both rock the shades. And truth be told, the more I stare at them, the more similarities I see; long flowing hair, scruffy face, nose. Anyway, you get the picture.

Source: http://www.irunfar.com and http://teamcoco.com

Next up is one that can easily be argued depending on which photo you look at. In some pictures, Rob Krar looks just like Alex Ebert with beard and dreads. And in some photos Christian Letts looks like two entirely different people, almost a before and after of weight loss. But in the end, they both sport beards and hats. Specifically, both seem to be fond of that cowboy look when they wear hats. Maybe it's a mid-western thing.

Source: http://www.irunfar.com and http://rosecitylive.com

If you took a quick glance at my list here, you may have noticed that it's a little light on women. Don't blame me, I had to work with the list I had from the Magnetic Zeros group. The worst part though was finding this one single match. While the others were easy to find doppelgangers for, I struggled for days before finding Debbie Taylor and Jade Castrinos. Now, before I get into how they're the same, I must point out that I was hesitant to use Debbie in my list. Partially because she's not an elite runner like the others I've listed even though she's still a kick-ass ultra runner. Partially because she's a pretty private person. But my biggest reason was I didn't want to piss her off. While we've never met in person, we have talked online on and off over the past few years and I respect her and her opinions and value her friendship. As for how these two ladies are alike, I think it's the hair and the smirky smile. While Deb disagreed and presented a solid argument with evidence to prove her hair is more curly than seen below, I still say it's the hair. And even though she isn't smiling below, she does have a similar smirk that makes you think there's some happiness and joy in there that's just waiting to come out.

Source: https://twitter.com/canned_unicorn and http://www.buffalonewsstore.com/

Almost to the end of our list. On tap next is Scott Jurek and Stewart Cole. No, they don't have the same facial hair. In fact, I couldn't find any picture of Scott Jurek with facial hair that seemed to work for me. Same goes for Stewart Cole without facial hair. But that's okay. As you can see below, the facial hair isn't what you really think of when you first look at them. It's that damn head of curly hair. Like a kitchen mop or something, their curly hair is quite prominent. And don't forget that infectious smile. I've caught myself grinning a few times just from looking at their pictures.

Source: http://running.competitor.com and http://teamcoco.com

My next comparison is going to break the rules a bit. But since there are no rules and I'm in charge, I say screw it. We have Catra Corbett and Josh Collazo. I know, comparing a man and a woman isn't quite in line with what I've done so far but be patient. You see, they both have tattoos. And while Catra may have more, it's pretty clear they're both fans of getting inked. Plus, they both have this burning look in their eyes that seems to draw you in. Granted, I'm a bit more attracted to Catra than Josh, but hey, that's just my preference. On a side note, there was a topless photo Catra that would have matched the topless Josh, but I didn't want to stoop quite that low.

Source: http://trailgirl.blogspot.com and http://philephotography.smugmug.com

Finally, we circle back around to the source of this whole conversation; Timothy Allen Olsen. The best match I could come up with for him was Mark Noseworthy. Yeah, Mark is pretty much under the internet radar like Michelle Barton, but he has played guitar for Pete Yorn (in case you're a fan). Tim though isn't really under the internet radar but he is apparently going to be off the grid for the near future. What else do these two guys have in common? Well, I don't rightly know because I can't find much of anything on Mark except some mentions about playing guitar and potentially being in a curling club. So I'll just stick with the whole "they look alike" thing. And they both apparently love beanies.

Source: www.timothyallenolson.com and edwardsharpeandthemagneticzeros.com

So there you have it. An incomplete pairing of ultrarunners to Edward Sharpe and Magnetic Zeros.

Not Far Enough

Did another Zombie mission and I think I need to start over again and actually read some of the instructions first and maybe even pay attention to the conversation. So far I've just been running with it on and hearing only bits and pieces of the mission and ending up completely lost. Oh well. I already paid for it so I may as well use it.

Let's see, what else is going on. Oh, the run. So I went out, came back, and didn't get my ass run over and didn't pass out. I went in way under fueled for what I'm used to and probably got a little over heated. But again, I survived.

Photos:

Weather:
Temps were about 85F. Humidity was moderate to high. Sun was out in full. There was a light breeze.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was iced coffee and yogurt (about 500 to 700 less than normal). During the run I had a bottle of Hammer Fizz. Recovery was some push-ups, squats, a cold shower, and then a trip to the dump. When I finally ate, it was an iced latte, burger, and mozzarella sticks.

Aches and Pains:
Nothing really hurt but I was getting a bit warm by the end.

Gear:
Wore a black hat (mistake) and a headband under it. Also wore my new phone carrier (aka STRETCH) and my new sweat bands (like, straight out of the 80s sweat bands). Everything seemed to work fine but it was probably a little too sunny for a black hat.

Experiment:
Took my phone in the new carrier and took my small pepper spray.

Splits:
Outbound - 24:11
Inbound - 23:10
Finish - 47:21

Podcast - Mile 64 - I Want You To Want Me

I think my tone of voice has changed just a bit in this episode. Maybe I'm rounding a corner in my training depression. The first half of the episode is mostly the same stuff from the last episode but I focus more on finding a coach. I really need a coach. I'm hoping by the time this episode drops I have a coach.

The second half of the show is about the time-sucking wi-fi DVD player my wife bought earlier this month. It's great that I get to watch all sorts of free TV shows but that also means I sit on my ass even more than normal. Sometimes I swear she's a chubby chaser and wants me to be fat and happy.

If you want it, really, really want it, you can listen to this episode on Podbean or if you want me to want you directly, you can do that here.

Oreos of Death

The things I do for my kids. I know I would do anything for them but I never imagined it would mean risking my life just for a pack of Double-Stuff Oreos from the local Sheetz. A ride to Sheetz is becoming the norm for me. It used to be a drive so I guess I'm at least improving the environment and burning off the calories from the iced latte I always get. Anyway, I knew I'd be heading there today so I suited up and took the long route. I debated going a little further than normal but opted to just keep is sort of simple and headed out onto one of the busier roads in the area. I've gotten much better at navigating in traffic, which pretty much means I've grown some balls when it comes to owning my little portion of the road. Well today I damn near got neutered twice. For those that live in the area, this part will make sense, for others, just do your best. So I headed out onto 205 where there happens to be no pavement beyond the white line. This means my fat ass hangs out into the regular travel lane. In a 55 MPH zone. I pretty much keep my eyes glued to my mirror since there's a blind turn right where I come out before opening up to a nice long straight stretch of road. Well, a nice person in a white Ford sedan decided that even though there was plenty of room to slow down, plenty of time to wait a second or two, and plenty of time to see me in bright green jersey, they decided to come insanely close to me. Normally I check, re-check, re-re-check, and re-re-re-check the damn mirror and I did it this time just like normal. And damn near bailed out into the ditch because they didn't look like they were going to give me any slack. And then, to make me even more pissed off, they pass me, slowly drift over the white line in front of me (well down the road), then slow down and make a fucking left turn. I mean, 10 seconds was going to kill you? I'm no speed demon on the bike but that left turn you made was so damn close to me, I FUCKING PASSED YOU BEFORE YOU COULD EVEN FINISH PARKING YOUR FUCKING CAR!

ARgh. Sorry, just had to get that out of my system. So I peddled on, passed a pedestrian (walking on the wrong side of the road), took a side trip, made it back to 205, crossed over 301, took another side road, and eventually made it to Route 3. No issues here except I wasn't fat enough to make the sensor in the road realize I needed a green light to make a left turn so I had to wait for a truck to pull up behind me. Headed out on Route 3 where there's plenty of room to the right of the white line and made another side trip before crossing over 301 again and heading into Sheetz.

Now we get to my other close call. Leaving Sheetz and going East on Route 3 is always tricky, even in a car. You have CVS traffic and four lanes to deal with, two of them are turn lanes with various turning destinations. Well, the one car was nice enough to stop to let a car go in front of them so I headed out as well and they suddenly hit the gas like I wasn't allowed to cross. Ass hats were nice enough to at least give me more room than the other driver but at least I'm learning that it's best to treat every car on the road like a mortal enemy. As long as I assume every driver is out there to kill me I'll be safe. I think.

Photos:
At the end of the road on one of my minor detours.

Weather:
Temps were about 85F to 90F. Humidity was high. Sun was out. Winds were moderate.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was granola and yogurt with an iced coffee. Had a bottle of plain water until I got to Sheetz then nothing for the final 4 miles home. Recovery was a veggie wrap with bacon, iced latte, and a shower.

Aches and Pains:
None really although my feet still fall asleep occasionally.

Gear:
No special gear but I serious thought about getting a baseball bat to use on dumbass drivers.

Experiment:
Took my knife to hold my cards and my large pepper spray since I was going by the dog road. Also took my phone. No issues carrying any of them.

Splits:
Finish - 1:13:00

Going Back to Bama

Thanks to Melli H. and Karyl-Lynne T. for providing the peer pressure I needed to get off my rump and out the door. Seeing their miles up there this morning put me into a bit of a "one-up" mode of thinking. And pulling a page from KL's training book, I even started my Zombies Run missions all over again. It kept me entertained for a bit along with some music by Yelawolf. Didn't see anything extra-special to mention but I did feel good moving along. I think the music is really what pushed me today so I'm glad I thought about it.

Video:
This is the Yelawolf song that was pretty much the anthem for the run.

Photos:

Weather:
Temps were about 75F to 80F. Mostly cloudy with a nice breeze. Humidity was high.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was yogurt, a burrito, an egg, and some iced coffee. During the run I had a bottle of plain water. Recovery was Hammer Recoverite and some wraps. I was going to make a salad but felt like something different so I made wraps with ham, cheese, broccoli, lettuce, and some Dorothy Lynch (if you're from Nebraska, you know what I'm talking about). I then went a bit Norwegian and had a wrap with butter and whipped honey as dessert.

Aches and Pains:
I think I'm just about fully recovered from my 50k. I felt some soreness during the run but after stretching at the end, I felt much better.

Gear:
No special gear. In fact, I felt a little naked out there.

Experiment:
Took just my cell phone since I forgot everything else. Had to carry it in my hand since they don't fit in the pockets. Towards the end I just stashed it in my ass.

Splits:
Outbound - 22:44
Inbound - 20:55
Finish - 43:40

2013 Dahlgren Heritage Rail Trail 50k Race Report

Not my best performance but hey, I finished. How did I finish? Sheer will power, determination, and prior knowledge. I did not finish because of my training. How do I know? Because I didn't train. Go take a look at my training for the past few months. Go ahead. You do it, I'm too afraid to see how horrible it really is. I know I did a fat ass 50k in June, another attempt at one a week later, and then pretty much nothing. I think my longest run between this race and the last attempt was 8 miles. After that, it was 2 miles or so. Yeah, I may have been running, but it sure as hell wasn't training. And I got what I deserved. A last place finish. Am I happy about it? Hell no. I'm upset, maybe even a little pissed. But the only thing keeping me completely sane is that I finished.

So what went wrong? Well, how about we just skip that and move to the shorter list of what went right. First, the weather turned out to be damn near perfect for an early August race. For the first time in the five year history of the race, the temperature outside was actually tolerable. Yes, it was hot, humid, and stuffy, but not anywhere near where it was in years past, especially in the afternoon. In fact, I think it was around Mile 23 before I started dousing myself with cold water to stay cool. I think last year I was barely to the halfway point before doing that.

Another thing that went right was I somehow managed to run (with walking breaks of course) to the turn-around point before taking longer walking breaks. It may have been my training base that helped, I don't know, but after making it that far, I knew I'd have at least a chance at finishing.

Going into the race, I knew I was going to be chasing the cut-offs. And having told myself, and others, that, I began to believe it. Which means it became reality when I got out there on the course. After 13 miles, my wife and kids were cheering for me at after an aid station and I damn near lost it. I had a runner behind me, local ultra legend Joyce Ong, and she passed me. Which meant I was last. It crushed me. That, combined with my kids cheering for me, really sent me into a death spiral of self doubt and pity. Somehow I managed to slowly catch up to Joyce before the new bypass at Mile 14.5. I felt a little better. I saw two guys in front of me, both were walking, and I felt even better. By the time I reached the turn around at Mile 15.5, I had passed them, seen Ashland Dave, seen Kris D. , and knew I had a "people" cushion behind me for the cut offs. I made the turn around with half an hour to spare, and headed back. I ran/walked a few miles with Kris until she, Joyce, and the two walking guys eventually passed me for good. For better or worse, Joyce was slow enough to stay behind me until Mile 23 due to some leg cramps. But she still walked faster than me and easily put about 20 minutes on me by the time she finished.

As for me, well, I walked a lot on the way back to the finish. It was tough and I managed to find a few running spurts here and there but overall, I was walking about 18 minute miles. So damn precise in fact that I could easily calculate my pace and how much time I had to beat the next cut off. After many, many repeated calculations, I was able to determine that I'd make the last cut-off and I'd finish. After more math, I was able to figure out that I'd be able to finish pretty close to 8 hours. Turns out I was able to shave a few seconds off and beat my predicted time by a few minutes.

In happier news, I was able to see some fellow runners that I've met over the years. Besides seeing Joyce and Kris, I got to meet Ashland Dave in person. It's kind of funny how you know somebody is a great guy just by hearing them talk (he does a podcast) and meeting them in person only confirms your feeling. He was there with some friends and we chatted a bit about the trail, podcasts, and other stuff. I also saw Alice, a local runner who wasn't running the race, and her friend Donna, who ended up taking 3rd overall female. I also saw Snipes before the race and he managed to talk some trash while I was struggling around Mile 11. He gave me a dose of Biddz love by cracking the whip. I hated it at the time but I'm not sure I would have made it beyond the next aid station without him. Then there was Wayne, another local runner, that ran the race and looked strong doing it despite an injury. I'm sure there were more people that I met, but I can't remember them all.

Photo:
The guy in the little Mule hounded me all day (you can see his headlights behind me, lurking like a damn mountain lion). While I appreciated him being out there, I didn't appreciate the feeling of being stalked.

Weather:
Temps were about 70F at the start but warmed to maybe 80F or 85F. Like I said, much cooler than the 90s we've seen in years past. Humidity was high at the start but cooled later. There were a few sprinkles during the race but nothing too terrible. Sun was out for the start and finish but mostly cloudy during the race.

Fluids and Fuel:
No breakfast other than a little bit of coffee, which was a mistake. During the run I had some Hammer Fizz but not enough. Also had plain water, Coke, a few sips of Gatorade, and half a beer. Side note on the beer, I was asking for beer after a the first mile. Everyone laughed, like they usually do, but nobody seemed to take me seriously. One volunteer who works a lot on the trail, Warren, did take me seriously and had a beer waiting for me with a mile left before the finish. I took the beer and kept walking. It foamed, it was warm, it wasn't my type of beer (it was a Fat Tire), but I didn't give a shit. I drank that stuff like it was the elixir of life. Anyway, my wife said the radio guys were calling my location in and were worried that I wouldn't finish because I had a beer. Sheesh. Recovery was a hamburger, Twinkie, and Mountain Dew. Fuel during the run was some Hammer Gel which didn't sit well, some Hammer Perpeteum which sat great, and a banana at Mile 27. Bananas make me shit almost instantly but I was desperate enough for solid food that I are the whole thing. I didn't shit my pants so I guess my body needed fuel. I also only peed twice during the race. Once around Mile 2 and once around Mile 27. My second pit stop gave me some darker urine than I desired so I tried my best to drink more. It sort of helped. Clearly I was behind on fluids and fuel the entire day and it showed.

Aches and Pains:
Generally, I felt good physically during the race. Later on I started to feel some aches and pains but nothing too terrible. My hips started to hurt around Mile 20 and I started to feel what I thought was a blister around Mile 25. Turns out it wasn't a blister, just a sore foot. But I did score two blisters, one on my right heel and one on my left toe. The toe blister is the largest and had to be lanced twice already (both kids watched and were amazed - I was grossed out). I did some foam roller recovery and feel slightly better but I'm still stiff and sore.

Gear:
No special gear but I did take my GoPro camera for the first 20 miles or so. I also wore my Nathan hydration pack for the first 20 miles or so to carry my phone, camera, etc. Used my voice recorder to record a podcast. The last 10 miles or so I ran with just two handheld bottles to keep the weight down as much as I could.

Experiment:
N/A

Splits:
Mile 1 - 12:04
Mile 2 - 12:50 (includes pee break)
Mile 3 - 12:04
Mile 4 - 12:26
Mile 5 - 12:54 (includes aid station)
Mile 6 - 12:56
Mile 7 - 15:13 (includes Gun Range Bypass)
Mile 8 - 12:45
Mile 9 - 13:04 (includes aid station)
Mile 10 - 13:53
Mile 11 - 14:41
Mile 12 - 13:22 (running with Snipes)
Mile 13 - 17:24 (includes aid station)
Mile 14 - 15:14
Mile 15 - 24:23 (includes Little Ark Bypass and aid station)
Mile 16 - 23:11 (includes Little Ark Bypass)
Mile 17 - 16:50
Mile 18 - 18:38 (includes aid station)
Mile 19 - 15:40
Mile 20 - 14:48 (found a sudden burst of running gear)
Mile 21 - 16:15
Mile 22 - 17:01 (includes aid station)
Mile 23 - 17:19
Mile 24 - 20:32 (includes Gun Range Bypass)
Mile 25 - 16:58
Mile 26 - 20:12
Mile 27 - 18:19 (includes aid station and pee break)
Mile 28 - 17:44
Mile 29 - 17:51
Mile 30 - 17:35
Mile 31 - 17:35
Finish - 8:04:29

Podcast - Mile 63 - No Run, No Fun

Ever see those signs at the local church about Jesus? You know, the ones that go something like: No run, no fun. Know run, know fun. Yeah, that's kind of how I've been lately. Just no drive. Lots of doldrums. Lots of bottom of the barrel kind of thinking. Lots of whining and not enough cheese.

Which brings me to yet another depressing mile of running where I whine about not running enough. On the positive side of things, I managed to drop my phone and it still survived. Guess that Otter Box case was a good buy. I just didn't have a good place to put it to keep it from dropping. So I ended up putting it in my ass crack. Sort of. It was flat against my skin and not sitting in there like a credit card. It rode surprisingly well but wasn't exactly comfy.

Anyway, aside from the whining dribble, I didn't have much to contribute to this episode beyond heavy breathing and a few random moments of potential wisdom.

You can get your bottle of whine on Podbean or drink it straight from the source.

Cowabunga Dude!

Didn't push myself too much on this one since I was just aiming to survive the ride and get a free lunch. Work was nice enough to spend $10 on my lunch thanks to a new fiscal year. Guess that money was burning a hole in their pocket.

Outside of that, my big excitement was saving a turtle as he tried to cross the road. I'm no turtle lover but I didn't want the little guy to end up as turtle soup. So I pushed him (gently) off the road with my foot. No, I'm sure as hell not going to use my hands to touch him.

And that was about it.

Photos:

Weather:
Temps were about 75F to 80F. Humidity was moderate. Sun was out in full. Light breeze.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was yogurt, one egg, and iced coffee. Had a bottle of plain water going out and nothing on the way back. Recovery was an iced latte, burger, and some more Falling Skies.

Aches and Pains:
Quads felt a little sore but that was about it.

Gear:
No special gear.

Experiment:
Took my large pepper spray, knife, and new phone. All rode well in my cycle jersey.

Splits:
Ah, screw the splits.
Finish - 43:22

Just a random view

Don't think I shared this one, so I thought I'd put up a random panorama view from a recent ride. One of the few areas you can see almost no signs of human life.