Cry Baby Quad

Report:
Would you look at that? It's after 4pm and I'm just now putting my shit on DM. Does that give you an idea of what my Friday has been like so far? Yeah. It's been one of *those* days.

So, this morning I cranked out a 5k. By walking. My left quad is still all whiny and shit. Sounds like me after 19 miles. So I ignored it this morning and went out for what I had planned on being 6 miles; 3 on my own and 3 with the group from the Y. Turns out yesterday was group run. They changed the schedule. Again. So I wimped out a bit and just did 3 miles. My quad was all nice and quiet like a sleeping baby for the first mile. I figured I could walk a mile, run a mile, then walk a mile and be fine. I get 20 steps into my running mile and the quad wakes up crying like I dropped a brick of Black Cats into the baby's crib. Baby Cheeses.

So I walked. I had some mild relief when I tried running way high on my feet but that was like putting earplugs in the babies ears. It may lessen the noise but there's still that smoke and flashing lights to deal with. In other words, my shins and feet didn't like the altered stride. So I ended up walking the hell back to the Y.

Along the way I did my best to be at peace with the injury. But like any parent will tell you, there comes a time when you just want the damn crying baby to shut the hell up. What did I learn from this? I won't be getting an x-ray or MRI until after my A-race in October. I will do everything possible to complete said race, even if I have to fashion a crutch from a flipping branch. You see, my buckle fever is much worse than my painful quad.

But I'm hoping it's not that serious. It still ebbs and flows, but the pain is still pretty low on my threshold scale. So, I'll walk the damn thing if I have to, I'll just be grumpy as hell about it. Until I finish.

This was my view this morning as the sun came across the field.

And this was my view this afternoon during my lunch walk. Yes, that's a Christmas tree. And yes, they are Elvis fans.

Weather:
Temps were about 70F to 75F, much cooler than expected. Even though I was walking I still worked up a sweat, just not as much as normal. Humidity was moderate to low. Sun was out. Not much of a breeze.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was water and yogurt. During the run I had a bottle of water. Recovery was an iced latte, giant burrito, and apple fritter. It only slightly boosted my spirits.

Aches and Pains:
The cry baby quad.

Gear:
Nothing but my phone.

Splits:
Mile 1 - 18:43
Mile 2 - 15:05
Mile 3 - 18:06
Finish - 53:51

My ass hurts

I don't know what's up with my left quad but now the dull ache is creeping into my glute. Next thing you know I'll have a headache.

Anyway, enough about my ass. Here's some recent pics that I neglected to post.

The other night, I went for a night run. And got some lousy pictures. This is the best of them. Just wish the shots of the full moon had turned out.

And this is of the football game I went to a few hours before the night run. We had a huge crowd turn out to wish our team well and to say goodbye to the field. We'll be playing on a new one later this season.

And during my run the other day I saw a lot more mushrooms, including several with mold growing on them. Yes, it really is that humid here in the summer. But I didn't take a picture of them. Instead, I took a picture of the log cabin hidden in the woods.

And that's about it. For now. I hope to get back to running shortly. Then I can bore you with more of my drivel.

Five Oh Doh

Report:
I think I messed up my leg somehow. Not sure yet but I need to take a rest day and to reassess later this week. What's messed up? My left quad. It was a tiny bit tweaky last week; maybe 1 out of 10 on the pain scale. Sunday's long run ramped it up to about 2 or 3 on the pain scale but it was still within my limits and fully expected. After all, 20 miles is bound to leave you with some aches and pains. Then came yesterday's run. Just 6 miles and it got progressively worse. Maybe a 5 out of 10. If I had been smart, I would have quit while I was ahead. But no, I went out and did 3 miles today. And my pain went from a 2 to a 7 by the end of the run. Not good. So I'm going to just chill the hell out tomorrow, foam roll, and keep things as loose as possible.

Weather:
Temps were about 75F and the humidity was high. Mostly cloudy sky with a decent breeze of about 15 mph or so.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was yogurt and water. During the run I had a bottle of water. Recovery was Hammer Recoverite mixed with milk and water which was followed by an egg, breakfast burrito, and iced coffee.

Aches and Pains:
My left quad was the biggest issue. My left hip and glute were also a bit tweaky but it may have been due to some altered strides. Shins were also a bit sore.

Gear:
None.

Codename - Five Oh Doh
Saw a cop yesterday and what do I see in the first half mile today? Another cop executing a very short traffic stop. After that, I saw a guy walking to work or to his carpool stop. And then, on the way back, I saw a doe and two fawns. And even though the "doe" made for an interesting sight, I was pretty distracted for most of the run by my "doh" move of running on a bum leg.

Splits:
Mile 1 - 10:56
Mile 2 - 12:11
Mile 3 - 12:57
Finish - 38:04

Back to School

That's right folks, yesterday was the first day of Kindergarten for my son and the first day of 3rd grade for my daughter. Where has the time gone?

Reading the night before the first day of school:

Ready to take the mom-bus to school!

Podcast - Mile 40 - Milestones

As I start this podcast, I'm stuck on the douche-grade hill. From there, I proceed to whine. Thankfully there were no Doombas out there to get me. But there's always an iced latte lurking around the corner. That seems to be my weakness. Iced coffee. I'm also a weakling when it comes to junk food. The junkier the food is, the weaker I get. So I nearly killed myself by splurging on some food that had some poultry in it that I didn't expect. Which meant I was knocking on heaven's door, or hell's, as I had a wonderful allergic reaction.

Thankfully for you, I survived. Wish I could say the same for this crazy podcast. Bah, who am I kidding. I'll keep doing it because I enjoy it. Maybe I just enjoy torturing my listeners. Send me an email and let me know what you love or hate about the show. There's a little button over there on the right side of the blog that will let you send me an email.

Anyway, back to the show. I broke my no-Coke rule after my reaction to the poultry so I had a nice day or two of being depressed. But it helped kill the rot gut and swollen throat. Pretty easy trade off when it comes down to choosing between breathing and being happy.

If you have the stones, download or view this episode on Podbean.

Shot down in a blaze of glory

Report:
Was hoping to go to the group run today at the Y but my schedule just didn't work out that way. So I went for a run by myself. And it sucked. Turned into more of a walk than a run and instead of dwelling on how slow I was going, I stopped and reset my watch before I had gone half a mile. Yep, I knew that quickly how slowly I was going. So, without the pressure of times and splits, I just chilled out as best as I could. My guess is I ran the 2 miles at about 13 to 14 minute pace but I can't be sure.

Saw a deer in the fields and was briefly chased by a dog. He ran to the edge of the road well behind me but thankfully listened to his owner working in the garden. I wasn't too worried about it since I haven't had any issues with dogs on this particular stretch of road.

Weather:
Temps were about 70F but humidity was high enough that I could see it in the sunlight. No wind and plenty of sun.

Fluids and Fuel:
No breakfast before the run. Just a bottle of water during the run. Recovery was yogurt, oatmeal, and iced coffee.

Aches and Pains:
None really.

Gear:
Just my phone.

Codename - Shot down in a blaze of glory
That's how my grand schemes and plans tend to end up. Carnage in a crater.

Splits:
None taken.

Delirious Shrooms in the Purple Rain

Report:
Just a run. Nothing fancy or special about it. Had some stuff on my mind and did my best to shove last night's dream into the deepest, darkest corner of my brain. The last 5 miles I worked on nailing the door shut so it would never come out again.

Yup, that pretty much sums it up for today.

Weather:
Temps were about 80F with high humidity again. Clouds were out nearly the whole time even though I could tell the sun was out too. Only had a slight breeze in the last mile. Light rain came about half an hour after I finished.

Fluids and Fuel:
First breakfast was yogurt and iced coffee. During the run I had one bottle of water and one bottle of Hammer Fizz. Recovery, second breakfast, was an egg, cheese, and roast beef wrap, oatmeal, and another iced coffee.

Aches and Pains:
My right ankle felt tight for the first mile or so. It's the top part where the foot meets the leg. Kind of like where you tie the bow on your shoelaces. After awhile it loosened up. Felt like a knuckle that needed to be cracked. Outside of that, it was just hard to breathe with the stuffy air.

Gear:
No special gear other than my phone. I did ditch my hat after the first 3 miles.

Codename - Delirious Shrooms in the Purple Rain
Listened to some Prince on the second half of my run and did my best to stick to my 50% rule of no music until the second half of the run. Also saw a lot of mushrooms on the side of the road today. Kind of odd but certainly a sign of how hot and humid it's been lately.

Splits:
Mile 1 - 10:11
Mile 2 - 13:23 (includes a pee break)
Mile 3 - 11:29
First 5k - 36:27
Mile 4 - 11:18
Mile 5 - 11:23
Mile 6 - 11:19
Second 5k - 35:02
Finish - 1:11:29

The Artful Dodger

Report:
Had a bad night sleeping last night. Daughter just about took a fist to the face for scaring the living shit out of me. I was in some sort of deep-coma-like meditation state or something where I think I'm awake enough to hear the thunderstorm all around my house but I can't hear my bedroom door open or my daughter walk in. Shortly after that, my son came in. He didn't risk a fist since he was loud enough to wake me up. Then I had to tell my daughter to turn her audio book down. Then my son came back in. Then my wife stole the covers. Then the storm got even louder. I finally woke up at 0530 when my wife banged the door coming out of the bathroom after her shower. I promptly grumbled, rolled over, and went the fuck back to sleep.

So anyway, I finally got things rolling and made it out the door. It wasn't a fun run but it was miles on the books.

The swamp that feeds the stream that's at the bottom of the hill.

Weather:
Temps were about 85F to 88F. Humidity was insanely high, maybe 70% or more. The sun was out and even though it was pretty cloudy, it seemed like I rarely saw any shade. There was a light breeze but it was barely enough to cool things off.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was oatmeal, a burrito, yogurt, and iced coffee. During the run I took a bottle of water and finished it. Recovery was a single scoop (half serving) of Hammer Recoverite mixed with water and chocolate ZICO. That was followed by meatloaf, broccoli, and potato wedges.

Aches and Pains:
None really to speak of but my stride and gait felt off. Not sure why, just felt funny.

Gear:
No special gear, just my phone.

Codename - The Artful Dodger
No, it isn't a reference to Master Bates. Although that does give me a good chuckle. It's a reference to my wife not running my half-naked ass over. You see, I was running a pretty normal route on a road near my house (it was my lunch hour after all). The road is pretty narrow but still wide enough for two cars to pass each other. Barely. On either side of the road is a ditch. That may be three feet deep in some place. Plus it's on a hill. With curves. Oh, and at the bottom of the hill where it crosses the stream, it's a one-lane bridge. Made of wood. So yes, I do indeed live in the sticks (I have three bridges like that within running distance of my house, the other two are on gravel roads). Well, sure enough, my wife comes barreling down the road right at me. She does a little bob and weave as I wave.

Splits:
Outbound - 21:08
Inbound - 21:22
Finish - 42:30

Podcast - Mile 39 - DRHT 50k Race Report II

Welcome to yet another episode of the One Mile Running Podcast. Why you keep coming back for more, I have no idea. Maybe this long episode will keep you in your place. Maybe not. Anyway, this episode starts with a bit of a race report from my most recent 50k, the Dahlgren Railroad Heritage Trail (DRHT) 50k. Nothing that I haven't already covered before but maybe it'll give you something to listen to while you go out for your next ultra-training run.

Oh, and if you're wondering why this episode is so long, it's because I'm walking. Because it's the morning after the aforementioned race. So I'm a little tired. Just be happy I stopped recording before I went to the bathroom.

Feel free to send me an email if you want me to talk about you.

Until then, download or view this episode from Podbean.

Babybel Mile aka Cheesy Jokes

Report:
I really need a puke face for this one. Why? Because unlike Nick Symmonds and his recent beer mile, I've stepped up the game and ran the first ever Babybel Mile Challenge. That's right. I've done it.

It all started here.

And, with a bit of planning, I was able to procure enough Babybel cheese wheels to choke a dairy cow. Well, okay, there was no planning. I just went to Costco and bought two huge bags of cheese. Turns out, I barely needed half a bag. Why on earth did I think I could eat 28 of these things? Clearly I must have gone crackers.

That's right, there's 28 of those little devils in there.

So I did a short warm-up mile just to get things moving. Then I made a quick bathroom break before heading out for the full thing. The first few were easy enough but my biggest struggle was with the technique. I had to open each one and eat it. It took a few tries but I eventually learned I could chew on one and work on opening another at the same time. But of course by the time I figured it out, I was ready to barf.

It's been two hours since my run and I'm still a bit queasy. I haven't gotten sick but I'm seriously thinking about it.

Okay, the rules are pretty simple. Run a mile outside and eat as many Babybel cheeses as you can. You must carry everything with you. The wrapped cheese (no unwrapping early) and your trash after you unwrap them must remain on your person until you finish the run. No littering. If you puke, you are disqualified. If you poop your pants, you will not be disqualified but you'll have a crappy story to tell. And finally, the scoring. I think I'm going to go with the following equation:

run time (mm:ss) - one minute (1:00) per cheese eaten = finish time (mm:ss)

Now, this could potentially run into the negatives and that's fine. You run a 5 minute mile and eat 8 cheeses and you'll get a -3:00 time (negative three minutes).

So how did I do? Run time was 14:01. Cheeses eaten was 11. My score was a time of 3:01. Feel free to step up to the plate and cut my cheese time.

The aftermath.

Weather:
Temps were about 75F. Sun, no wind, light humidity.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was iced coffee, yogurt, and a breakfast burrito. Yes, I ate breakfast before this challenge. During the run I had water for my warm-up mile then 11 cheeses for the challenge. No recovery.

Aches and Pains:
None other than a very angry stomach.

Gear:
Wore my bike shirt to carry all 28 cheese wheels and felt like I was wearing a fanny pack from 1985 with a Walkman inside.

Codename - Cheesy Jokes
Had enough of them yet? Don't be cowed by my humor. My jokes aren't really that good. In fact, I often feel sheepish when my jokes are so dry, I have to explain them. To myself. Do I have you by the goat yet? Starting to wine? I think I'll stop here before I get too corny.

Splits:
Finish - 14:01

Old Men and Eminem

Report:
Today's run was sponsored by Insanity Wolf. Or as you folks here refer to her, Biddi. So while she totally pushed me and kicked my ass during Sunday's race, I never really thought I could manage that pace by myself. Turns out I can. I just have to dive deep into my mind and open the cage to let the Insanity Wolf inside me loose.

It's because of that bat-shit crazy wolf that I pushed myself faster than expected. And totally smoked it. Well, as fast as my fat ass could push itself. To put it another way, I did my best to constantly keep my self revving at about 80% to 90% of my effort. And holy shit did it hurt. And suck. But I managed to survive.

Along the way, I saw lots of cars and got a few waves. I guess my neighbors are getting used to a crazy dude running down the road with his shirt off. Anyway, as I neared my turn-around point, I saw a couple of young teenage boys hanging out in the back of the local quickie mart. One on a skateboard and one on a bike. So as typical teenage boys do, they headed down the road with their pack of cigarettes; the skateboarder hanging off the back of the biker. Well, I paid them no mind and just ran my route. As I passed them, I overheard them comment about my musical choice; Eminem. That's right, old men listen to Eminem.

Weather:
Temps were about 75F, humidity was moderate to low, sun was out, and there was no breeze.

Fluids and Fuel:
Took a Hammer Gel before the run and took two bottles, one water and one Hammer Fizz, on the run. Finished all the water and most of the Fizz. Recovery was an iced coffee, chips, and dip.

Aches and Pains:
Felt a little wheezy but nothing too terrible.

Gear:
No special gear but I did take my phone for music and photos.

Codename - Old Men and Eminem
That's right, this old man listens to rap. So get over it young punks and smoke your cigarettes while I get my high from running.

Splits:
Outbound - 20:16
Inbound - 20:23
Finish - 40:40 (a new PR for this route by 24 seconds)

2012 Hartwood Capital Ale House 10 Miler

Report:
Managed to set a PR thanks to Biddi. More details later.

Edited to add more details.

This was a slog of a run thanks to my wonderful pacer/running buddy. Tab took things out insanely fast but I somehow managed to hang on. I mean, 10 minute miles. Holy crap was that fast! But it just goes to show that your body really can do more than you think. So as we reached the second mile marker, I was ready to die. But my incessant whining wasn't doing anything to change Tab's pace so I hung on for dear life until we got to the first water table. Once there, I was able to catch my breath before she took off like her ass was on fire down the next hill. I took another quick walking break at Mile 3 but manged to catch up by stretching out on the downhill and running the tangents. I was able to make up a bit of ground on the uphills too so I finally caught her. We repeated this a few more times where I'd pass her at the water tables then she'd pass me. We finally stuck together around Mile 5 or 6 and by the time we reached the water table near Mile 6, I could tell she was fading a bit. We had joked earlier that she would crash then but she hung on pretty steady through the whole race, only showing some visible signs of sluggishness around Mile 7 or 8.

The last few miles have bigger hills so things slowed down but we took to our ultra-running skills and walked the hills and ran everything else. As we cruised through Mile 9, I noticed my rival behind us. This old guy always wears red and I've long made it my goal to never have him beat me. He has no idea who I am and vice versa but it's still a goal of mine. Anyway, we slogged up the final hill and turned back into the park. As we got within sight of the finish line, I asked Tab if she had another gear. She didn't and I wasn't surprised. So I left her behind and kicked it up to top gear and finished strong passing one more guy at the very end.

Tab finished strong but I could tell she was tired. Probably because she didn't eat a damn thing on the run. And because she went too damn fast at the start. And because she had too much of my whine and cheesy jokes. But in the end, I couldn't have set my new PR without her.

Weather:
Temps were 65F at the start and about 73F at the finish. Humidity was nearly 100% but there was no rain. Partly sunny. No real breeze.

Fluids and Fuel:
Had a chocolate ZICO before the race. No other breakfast. During the run I had a bottle of water for starters then dropped a Hammer Fizz in there at Mile 2. From there I topped it off with regular water at various stages. I also had a mini-flask of Hammer Perpeteum that I finished and one Hammer Gel that I took at Mile 2. Recovery was a beer, some cookies, Hammer Recoverite, and water.

Aches and Pains:
Had some odd bloat and crampy feelings that were high in my gut. Cropped up around Mile 6 but didn't hurt too much.

Gear:
Wore my T-Star running shorts and got lots of compliments. Also wore my singlet with my test script on the back (THE LUMBER JACK).

Splits:
Mile 1 - 10:23 (includes about 30 seconds to cross the start line)
Mile 2 - 10:47
Mile 3 - 10:07
Mile 4 - 10:18
Mile 5 - 10:25
Mile 6 - 10:49
Mile 7 - 11:41
Mile 8 - 11:30
Mile 9 - 11:31
Mile 10 - 9:30
Finish - 1:46:37 (a PR by about 12 minutes)

GOZ SLO

Report:
Just a short run today since I pulled 8 yesterday. But I ended up going fast today for some reason. Must have been peer pressure. Anyway, got my run on and felt only a little wheezy by the end.

Weather:
Temps were about 70F. Sun was out. Light breeze. No humidity.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was oatmeal, yogurt, and iced coffee. During the run I had one bottle of water. After the run, I had a bottle of chocolate ZICO. That was followed by a second breakfast of eggs, potatoes, and yogurt when I got home.

Aches and Pains:
The oatmeal sat heavy in my gut during the run but that could have been caused by the fast first mile. Beyond that, I felt a little wheezy in the last half mile but I was pushing a little harder than I should have.

Gear:
No special gear but I completely forgot about my hat and sunglasses. So I dealt with squinty eyes and sun glare.

Codename - GOZ SLO
For those of you in the area, you may be familiar with this particular car. Or not. You see, I know license plates for some odd reason. And I've seen this car in the area several times. Well today, it whizzed by us going quite fast. So if you know this person, please remind them that runners and other pedestrians would be grateful if they slowed down when you went past them.

Splits:
Mile 1 - 9:41
Mile 2 - 10:32
Mile 3 - 10:17
Finish - 31:29 (all of about 20 seconds off my PR - what the actual fuck?)

Obey

Report:
So I went out for a little jaunt today in an effort to punish myself for being a lazy ass couch potato. How have I been a lazy ass couch potato? Let me count the ways. Missing my long run this past weekend and attempting to make up for it on Monday. Instead of doing the full 10 miles of my make-up long run on Monday, I only did 8 miles. Skipping my planned 3 and 5 mile runs on Tuesday and Wednesday. Which leaves me with today's run, a make-up session of 8 miles. Not to mention all the crap food I've been eating.

Which brings us to food allergies. For those of you that don't know, I'm allergic to nuts, poultry, and gourds. For those of you that don't care, why the hell are you still reading? So, yesterday I ate crap food. Fried food. Fried mac and cheese nuggets. About as close to death in a paper bag as you can get without huffing silver paint. So after I pour all that crap down my gullet, I attempt to appease the food gods by eating a salad. A taco salad. With some greasy meat on it. That apparently had some form of poultry, likely turkey, in it. Which lead to an allergic reaction which was thankfully mild. I mean, I could barely swallow but I could still breath. Then I made things worse.

You see, as a kid growing up with food allergies, I learned that one of the best remedies that was easily found was Coke. Coke in the can worked best while Coke from the fountain required a double dose. Anyway, Coke worked as a great over the counter anti-histamine. Can you guess what I drank yesterday? A Coke. Now, mind you, I had a valid medical reason. I didn't want to jab the Epi-Pen in my thigh. At all. And I didn't want to take Benadryl so I could fall asleep at work. That left Coke. Which isn't really all that bad since I rarely drink it. But there's a reason I rarely drink it. That shit makes me depressed. And I don't mean like "oh boo hoo, I drank a Coke and now I'm going to get fat." Not even depressed like "oh crap, I drank a Coke and now I'm going to get addicted to them again like an alcoholic is addicted to beer." No, I'm talking about depressed like "oh fuck this shit, I'm not getting out of bed, life just isn't worth it." Complete mental carnage. And no, I have no idea why it does that to me. Although the best theory I've heard is that I'm allergic to it.

Anywho. Back to today's run. I fought some heartburn from yesterday's lunch, some moody blues from yesterday's Coke, and some couch potato flab from eating crappy food. But I survived. Although it was close when that turkey ran across the field. I was a little worried he was going to go get some friends and come back to attack me.

Weather:
Temps were about 80F but probably climbed to about 85F by the end. There was a light breeze of about 10 mph. Sun was out. Humidity was low.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was potatoes, eggs, toast, and iced coffee. For the run, I took my hydration pack with ice water. I also took an EFS shot (Berry flavored). I finished both by the end. Recovery was Hammer Recoverite.

Aches and Pains:
First mile or two had some right ankle pain. It's the top of the ankle where it bends. Felt tight for some reason like it didn't want to bend. Eventually went away. Had some heartburn and some nasty and acidic burps. My right knee ached a bit towards the end. The last few miles also had what felt like some chafe on the back of my right foot around the Achilles at the top of the shoe. Didn't see any in the shower though.

Gear:
Took my hydration pack, phone, recorder, and that was about it.

Codename - Obey
Saw an Obey sticker (without the word, just Andre's face) on a phone pedestal. I'd seen it before but never knew what it meant. Now I do.

Splits:
Outbound - 51:15
Inbound - 51:20 (really happy that I only slowed about a second per mile on the return trip)
Finish - 1:42:36

A little cartoon humor

Just in case you missed it earlier this week:

via - http://www.rhymeswithorange.com/2012/08/August-14-2012/

Community's Freaks and Geeks

Not at all safe for work due to language. But absolutely worth your time. And in case you didn't know the song, it's by Childish Gambino. Also known as Donald Glover. Also known as Troy on Community.

Scared Shitless

Report:
Was hoping to get in a long run this weekend but I ended up just doing a short 1 mile hike with the family. Since I close today, I was lucky enough to have a little extra time this morning to get my long run in. But I still didn't do the 10 miles I wanted and ended up with just 8. Guess it's better than nothing, right?

I got around onto some rarely used roads. Well, rarely used by me at least. It's just not usually in my neck of the woods so I don't usually run on them. At least I got to see some new scenery and even managed to feel pretty good about things. I tried to stick to a pattern of taking a short walking break every half mile. It seemed to work until the last mile or two when I started to get tired.

I also experimented with some new fueling options today as well as new methods of carrying my fluids. I finally found some whipped honey this weekend so I made my own version of the shit sandwich and spread some of it on two flour tortillas. I wrapped each in saran wrap then put both into a ziplock bag. Thankful I did since one of them leaked a bit. Turns out whipped honey starts to melt a bit when it gets warm. As for my fluids, I stashed two bottles into my Nathan vest instead of using my bladder. I also tested out drinking some iced tea as well. Everything appeared to work fine, it's just a matter of perfecting and tweaking things a bit to make it all work better. Assuming I do it again.

Here's a little self-portrait I managed to take during the run.

Weather:
Temps were about 85F, humidity was low, and there was a slight breeze. Sun was out with a few clouds.

Fluids and Fuel:
Put two handheld bottles in my Nathan vest, one with water, one with Hammer Fizz. Both had ice that lasted a decent amount of time. Around Mile 1 I bought a bottle of iced tea. I finished all of my fluids by the end. I also finished my shit sandwiches, taking one around Mile 3.5 and another around Mile 5.

Aches and Pains:
Not really any to speak of. Although my right hamstring is a bit tight right now for some reason.

Gear:
Wore my Nathan vest but took no bladder. Also had some BodyGlide on hand (thankfully).

Codename - Scared Shitless
So as I'm running, eating my shit sandwiches, I see a sign that says NO DUMPING. I found it rather amusing since I really need to take one. Thankfully I was able to hold everything in until the end of the run. The worst part was I was distracted while grabbing my water from the pack and saw something very close to my face. I jumped and put my hands up thinking it was a dog or some other animal attacking me. Turns out it was just a low hanging branch. Sigh. Such a ninny.

Splits:
Splits are from RunKeeper and may not be entirely accurate.
Mile 1 - 11:06
Mile 2 - 14:22 (includes bathroom break and getting a drink at Sheetz)
Mile 3 - 11:34
Mile 4 - 12:52
Mile 5 - 12:19
Mile 6 - 12:16
Mile 7 - 11:53
Mile 8 - 11:40
Finish - 1:39:27

Podcast - Mile 38 - 50-DDDD

Not to worry ladies, I'm not talking about a bra size. Instead, I'm talking about my Doomed Debut Dahlgren Double. You see, I had planned on attempting to do a 50k race on a Saturday then a Fat Ass 50k the next day. Turns out I did the race just fine (setting a new PR) but I followed it with a 6 mile walk. No running, no 50k, just a wimpy 6 miles. I'm pretty bummed but I think I'll survive. I need to learn how to take care of things on the trail instead of just pushing through them like I did in the race. If I had cleaned up my blisters during the race, I'm sure I would have gone longer.

Oh well, 20/20 hindsight, right? Anyway, in this episode I ramble on about back seats, a bed liner, and some other random crap I see on my runs. Again ladies, no worries, I don't talk about sex toys. I do apologize for the issues I had with the previous episode.

From there I ramble into Ashland Dave and his podcast and my new segment called Listener Mail. I do not go into how much I fear this will turn into a circle jerk of me talking about other podcasts. Although I do have a history of poking some fun at some other guys.

Need my email to send me some Listener Mail? Here you go (just remove the spaces):


T K 4 2 O N E @gmail.com

Download or view the podcast and then send me an email. If you dare.

Jurassic Park

Report:
I had planned on going for a run with the YMCA group this morning but my son (and the heavy rain) managed to twist my arm. So instead I went to the dentist with my son where he got a clean bill of health. The skies cleared and I opted for a lunch run instead. After all, I had promised Biddi I would test my latest pair of shorts.

So out the door I went, shirtless, and sporting my new T-Star threads. Nothing terribly exciting during the run other than seeing one walker and one kid riding his bike. And a turtle on a log in the swamp. Outside of that, it was a decent run.

Weather:
Temps were about 75F to 80F. Winds were moderate, maybe 20 mph. Sun was out but so were the clouds. Humidity was moderate but not too noticeable due to the wind.

Fluids and Fuel:
Took a Hammer Gel (Banana) before I left and had two bottles of plain water during the run. After the run I had  a bottle of Hammer Recoverite, some shredded wheat, and two slices of cheese.

Aches and Pains:
Felt oddly gimpy today. My knees and ankles and legs felt sore but there were no aches or pains that stayed with me the entire time. Just kind of randomly traveled from one leg to another or up and down a leg.

Gear:
Other than my new shorts, just my phone.

Codename - Jurassic Park
You know that scene in Jurassic Park where the T-Rex is in the side view mirror of the Jeep? Well, that's the inspiration behind my picture in my new shorts. So for those of you that don't get my dry wit, that means I stuffed a sock in my shorts to look more manly. Or horse-like.

Splits:
Outbound - 20:33
Inbound - 20:40
Finish - 41:13

Slacker

Report:
Yes! I won! Well, sort of. Maybe. Kinda. My big win was getting out of bed this morning and going for a run. It's been ages since I've been up early enough to see the post-dawn haze of a humid and cool night. So I was quite pleased with myself for being man enough to beat the gravity well of my bed. And oh, it was so comfy this morning. My wife's pillow smelled great and her side was nice and cool. Ahhhhh.

But I beat the pull and made it up and out the door at a semi-reasonable time. I non-jogged my fat ass down the road and did my best to enjoy such an early morning view. Keep in mind it was nearly 0800. So, I ran down the road, got attacked by deer flies, and ran back home. Turns out the deer flies were out looking for breakfast and found me. There were so damn many of them, there were too many to shake a stick at. Literally. i was waving my arms around like Zach Anner and was hitting them left and right. I had at least five confirmed kills and at least 20 hits. But I also took some damage, thankfully not too much to keep me from completing my run.

Saw one deer, tons of deer flies, and an inch worm on my shorts. ON my shorts, not IN my shorts.

Weather:
Temps were about 70F, humidity was moderate to high, and the sun was out in full. A slight breeze at each end of the run when there were open fields.

Fluids and Fuel:
No breakfast before the run. During the run I had a bottle of plain water and a bottle of Hammer Fizz. With the turnaround in sight, I took one Hammer Gel (Apple Cinnamon - yum!).

Aches and Pains:
Worst was the deer fly bites. Outside of that, things were fine. Did step on one or two pointy pieces of gravel.

Gear:
Wore my Deerfly Patches and was shocked when I didn't catch as many as I normally do. I'm thinking it's because I was wearing a black hat so they thought it was a shadow. Just a theory. Also took my iPod Shuffle but the battery was low so I only listened to a few songs. Also took my phone to snap a few pictures.

Codename - Slacker
Yup. I just scored an early birthday present to myself. A Gibbon slackline. So now I'll really be slacking.

Splits:
Outbound - 31:38
Inbound - 31:43
Finish - 1:03:21

Crazy Walker

Report:
Working some kinks out this afternoon. And boy am I kinky.

Ahem.

So I got up this morning, turned on the news, and promptly rolled back into bed. Once I eventually got my fat ass out of bed, I was motivated enough to eat, drink some coffee, and go to work. Which left me with my lunch break to run.

And run I did. A little. And walked. A little. Overall, things went fairly well. Felt stiff, sore, and tired but things eventually smoothed out and I was able to suffer through the heat, humidity, and horse flies like I normally do. I took plenty of walking breaks, especially on the uphills, but found myself running up a few just because I felt like I was going too slow. Not too much else exciting going on during my run.

Weather:
Temps were about 80F, humidity was very high, sky was overcast, wind was light. Lots of dark clouds and thunder in the distance but no rain.

Fluids and Fuel:
Took a Hammer Gel (Montana Huckleberry) before the run and I hated it. Took a bottle of water during the run and finished it. Recovery was chocolate ZICO followed by water and shredded wheat.

Aches and Pains:
Pretty much everything hurt, but nothing too major. Mostly just stiff hamstrings, quads, and calves. Feet were a little tender and I could feel my blisters flare up at one point, but by the end, everything was fine.

Gear:
No special gear since I thought it would rain.

Codename - Crazy Walker
I swear, every time I got tired and started to walk, a car drove by. Every. Freaking. Time. So today I got to look like a crazy, topless, walker.

Splits:
Outbound - 21:39
Inbound - 21:16
Finish - 42:55

Podcast - Mile 37 - G.I. Joe

That's right folks, it's time for another episode of the One Mile Running Podcast. Just what your ENT doctor ordered, a great show to make your ears bleed.

This episode is focused on G.I. Joes. No, not the big ones that started things off and were the size of Barbies. I'm talking about the REAL ones that were all the rage in the 80s. I freaking loved these toys. So that's what I ramble on about in this show.

Or should it be two shows? Whatever you want to call it, it appears that Cobra snuck in one night and drained my batteries. Which means I had to split the show into two parts. Which means you have to click twice as many times to get the same amount of aural punishment. I hope you enjoy!

Download or view the G.I. Joe portion on Podbean.
Download or view the Cobra portion on Podbean.

2012 DRHT 50k Race Report

Report:
Phew. So much to report and I'm sure I'll forget something. To start with, I didn't have that usual week full of pre-race panic. It wasn't until the night before that I got a bit nervous. On race day, I felt good and got to the start line with just the right amount of time. Ditched my drop bag, waited a few minutes, went to the bathroom, and just chilled until the start.

As we started the race, I saw a familiar face. My stalker. As we chatted a bit, he said he was here for redemption and wanted to finish (he dropped at Mile 20 last year after a fall). I wished him well and eventually leapfrogged with him several times over the next few miles. I also saw Wayne, the bearded running master from ICY-8 earlier this year. He seemed surprised that somebody knew him. As did another lady I knew from last year.

Anyway, we headed down the road to the trail. I went through the first aid station after grabbing just an Oreo. I met up with Butch and Diane. The three of us and my stalker ran together for a bit, trading places, chatting, etc. I eventually passed my stalker and wished him well. I assumed he'd be right behind but it turns out he dropped early. Like at Mile 10. While last year I had very little remorse for him dropping, this year I actually felt bad for him. I was hoping he'd finish and put the demons of last year behind him.

The first ten miles for me were great. My second aid station was another fast one, just ice and water. I was moving faster than expected and felt smooth. The second ten miles sucked ass. I got way overheated and couldn't cool down. I pushed it a bit and ended up overheating even more. I eventually learned that I needed to slow down so I didn't overheat.

The next aid station was much slower than I wanted but I had rocks in my shoes and stopped to take them out. I was going slow but was still moving. I got more ice and water and moved on. The next aid station had our drop bags and yet again, I was slower than I wanted to be. But my bottles were still semi-frozen so the water felt great. Until it ran out. The ice just wasn't melting as fast as I wanted it to. I made it to Mile 20 feeling a little better.

From Mile 20 to the end, I felt much better. I was staying hydrated, I was fueled, I was managing my heat much better, I just couldn't move as fast as I wanted to. Turns out, if I ran too much, I'd get overheated. Go figure. I somehow stumbled upon the process of running for 20 paces and walking for 40. I'd periodically run for 25 or even 30 paces and would mix in a walking break of 60 paces every mile. Not only did this keep me moving, it kept me moving at a pace that my body could handle with the heat. An added bonus was that it constantly took my mind off the pain in my feet. Worked like a charm!

Through several aid stations I got to see several people I volunteer with for the trail. I was also lucky enough to have my wife and Tabitha help (my kids were there too but they were mostly cheering me on). Not sure I could have moved through so quickly without them.

Let's see, what else happened. I knew I was moving slow but I managed to pass quite a few people in the final ten miles. One guy was hurting pretty bad and Tabitha even helped him out as he came into the aid station. He eventually finished with Wayne but Wayne told my wife he may not have made it without everyone there to help him. He was hurting bad. Wayne was walking and finished last but man, he can hike scary fast. He also took a picture of my shorts.

And speaking of my shorts, one of the ladies volunteering knew me and cheered me on at one of the road crossings. Her friend was there taking pictures and as I came through the second time, she said her friend was going to take pictures of my ass. Ha! Then there was a guy who I passed who said "Your shorts look hawt." I said "Thanks." He said "No, I mean, they look hot to run in. Not that I'm staring at your ass." I laughed and said "Well, it's pretty clear I have nothing to hide in these!"

Okay. Here's the blood and gore part of the report. So if puss, genitals, and feces scare you, just skip to the Weather section below. So, the race was a bit odd. I didn't poop in the morning and had a constant fear that I'd need to at any moment. I never felt an urge at all. Despite eating a breakfast burrito and an iced latte before the race. Which usually flushes things out. So I carried baby wipes with me nearly the entire race before eventually saying screw it, I can live with some ass chafe for a few miles. Speaking of chafe, my shorts are awesome. But because of how things sit in the banana hammock, I had some chafe on the, um, trunk of my tree. Very odd spot. Thankfully it didn't impact any important performances. My blisters were also a bit odd. I haven't had blisters on my heels in ages. The one actually bled a bit when I lanced it while the other felt like it was much deeper than normal. The blister on my toe is, unfortunately, pretty normal.

Weather:
Temps were about 75F at the start and got to about 90F by the finish. Humidity was high. Sun was out in full but the course is mostly shaded. There was a breeze here and there.

Fluids and Fuels:
Iced latte and most of a breakfast burrito on the way to the race. Went through a ton of fluids. Took four Hammer Fizz tablets, four servings of Hammer Perpeteum, two Hammer Gels, a few Oreos, a few Ritz crackers, and tons of ice and water. Recovery was a hamburger, cold water, Hammer Recoverite, and I'm sure a few other things.

Aches and Pains:
One blister on the toe next to my left big toe. One blister on my left heel. One larger blister on my right heel. Tender feet. Right hip hurts. Overall, just stiff and sore.

Gear:
I kept things simple. Started out with my iPod shuffle but ditched it at Mile 16. Had Deerfly Paper on my hat and ditched that at Mile 20 along with my pedometer. Outside of that, it was a small mini flask of liquid fluids, a small BodyGlide, a few baby wipes, and my two handheld bottles. I did eventually shed some gear over time, like tossing my last mini flask at Mile 28. I also had spare shoes, spare socks, and a few other items in my drop bag (which we could access at Mile 16 and 24 in the race). I also had frozen two mini flasks and two handheld bottles and put them in my drop bag. This worked well but the handhelds didn't melt fast enough. Oh, and I wore my T-Star shorts (red) and had numerous compliments on them (from both men and women). I had only one spot of chafe but beyond that, they performed awesomely.

Splits:
Start to MM 11 - 8:55 (less than a mile)
MM 12 - 12:20
MM 13 - 12:03 (includes an aid station)
MM 14 - 11:57
MM 14 - 19:10 (longer than a mile - far eastern turnaround)
MM 13 - (missed this split so it's part of the next one)
MM 12 -25:51
MM 11 - 12:34
MM 10 - 13:11
MM 9 - 13:01
MM 8 - 15:24 (includes aid station)
MM 7 - 15:18
MM 6 - 15:51 (includes gun range bypass)
MM 5 - 14:13
MM 4 - 18:00 (includes aid station)
MM 3 - 13:47
MM 2 - 14:35
MM 1 - 14:21
MM 0 - 13:57
MM 1 - 17:53
MM 2 - 15:17
MM 3 - 15:55
MM 4 - 16:45
MM 5 - 18:10 (includes aid station)
MM 6 - 16:09
MM 7 - 19:03 (includes gun range bypass)
MM 8 - 15:35
MM 9 - 15:57 (includes aid station)
MM 10 - 14:57
MM 10 to Finish - 27:15 (about a mile and a half or so)
Finish - 7:37:38

Does a bear poop in the woods?

Report:
So this morning I got up at 4:30 am and managed to get out on the trail by 5:30 am. My original intent was to go out and do a solid 50k. Between a few months ago when I came up with this back-to-back 50k weekend and this morning, that plan changed many times. It gradually went from 30 miles to 20 to 10 to just whatever I could do. Turns out, my feet could only do 6 miles. I was actually clear-headed and motivated to go out and do more but between some suck-ass blisters and a hip that wasn't feeling so great, I just decided to call it a success at 6 miles. After all, I do my best to put the suck in success.

As for the walk, and it was most certainly a walk, it was pretty sedate. I saw one black snake, one rabbit, and two deer. And a large, but dead, caterpillar. I also picked up a few pieces of trash from yesterday's race, but there wasn't very much.

Most of the walk was dealing with the stiff muscles and the painful blisters. Mostly my body wasn't happy and that was the big hurdle. My brain was ready for more, my body wasn't. Oh well. At least I got a few more miles in!

See? I told you it was dark out.

And this is my face after a 50k yesterday and 6 miles today. Blergh.

Weather:
Temps were 75F at the start and warmed up a hair by the finish. There wasn't much wind. The moon was a waning gibbous and fairly bright. The sun eventually rose and the skies were clear. Humidity was high.

Fluids and Fuel:
Since I knew I was walking, I stopped for a huge breakfast burrito and an iced latte. And then decided to splurge with two hash browns. The rest of the time I was just drinking water. Recovery was an apple fritter and iced tea (the diet of champions!).

Aches and Pains:
One blister on my left toe, one blister on each heel, and some chafe in an unmentionable spot. The balls of my feet are sore and tender but don't have blisters. Right hip hurts whenever I pick my leg up. Outside of that, most everything feels fine, just a little sore.

Gear:
Wore my hydration pack. And that was about the only special thing I had going on.

Codename - Does a bear poop in the woods?
Yes. But only when he's in the woods.

Splits:
Mile 1 - 25:08 (includes eating breakfast while walking)
Mile 2 - 21:55
Mile 3 - 21:57
Mile 4 - 25:39 (includes a bathroom break)
Mile 5 - 24:22
Mile 6 - 18:57 (tried to walk as fast as I could)
Finish - 2:17:58

It's hot hot hot

Report:
Just an easy shake-out run before my race on Saturday. Although I shouldn't really call it a race since I'll be running AND walking. And I certainly won't be racing to place on the podium. I'll be happy to finish under the 8 hour cut-off.

Anyway, just an easy run to keep things moving. Nothing too exciting although I did see the third row seat of an SUV in the front yard of somebody's house. And a few houses down, there was a truck bed liner in somebody's ditch. Yeah. These are the types of roads I run on. At least I didn't see any sex toys.

Weather:
Temps were about 80F. Humidity was high. Sun was out in full. No wind.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was a burrito, yogurt, and iced coffee. During the run I experimented with a frozen mini-flask of Hammer Perpeteum. It seemed to work fine but thawed much faster than expected. I also had a bottle of plain water. Recovery was an iced latte.

Aches and Pains:
None to speak of.

Gear:
Nothing special.

Codename - It's hot hot hot
Pretty much the same story every summer. It's hot.

Splits:
Mile 1 - 10:27 (way too fast)
Mile 2 - 13:13 (a little too slow)
Mile 3 - 12:18 (right on pace)
Finish - 37:01

Podcast - Mile 36 - The 11th Plague

Time for yet another podcast episode. This one starts with a bit of a quote from The Eleventh Plague by Jeff Hirsch. So far, it's been a depressing story to listen to but at the same time, I can't quite quit listening to it. From there, I get even more depressing by asking you, the listener, for money. So if you want to send me some, send me an email. Just listen to the podcast and you'll hear it.

From there, I get a bit more upbeat and quote the infamous poem about beans making you fart and talk a bit about the Commonwealth Games where my daughter medaled in an event and my son got a rousing cheer from the crowd for wearing his Superman cape.

I also mention a pro-tip for runners out there dealing with sweat in their eyes. Chapstick or BodyGlide on the eyebrows works great. Trust me.


Download or view on Podbean.

Batteries Not Included

Report:
Just an easy run to shake the legs out and keep the rust off. Nothing too fast or hard, just an easy going, light, sort of fun run. I wanted to go out and have fun but it wasn't really in the cards for me so I just did my best.

Weather:
Temps were about 80F with a high humidity. It didn't feel hot, just sticky. The clouds were out so it wasn't too sunny.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was a burrito, oatmeal, yogurt, and iced coffee. During the run I had a bottle of water. Recovery as the rest of my iced coffee. My gut wasn't too hot this morning due to last night's dinner but I managed to survive.

Aches and Pains:
Nothing really hurt.

Gear:
Wore a different hat that I usually wear just to work outside in. Also had my recorder but the batteries died so I couldn't record the full episode I wanted to.

Codename - Batteries Not Included
I went to record my next episode and was about 15 minutes into talking when I checked to see how much time I had left and noticed it had turned off. After about 5 minutes of recording. Bummer.


Oh, and I found yet another dildo. A huge one. That had two ends. But one was chopped off.

Splits:
Outbound - 23:40
Inbound - 22:11 (my first negative split in ages)
Finish - 45:52

Hey Ladies!

Sorry ladies, this Lumberjack is married!

And for clarification, yes, I did wear this outfit this weekend. But it was strictly because I was cross-training. With the weed eater, the lawn mower, and some weed killer.

NSFW Run

Report:
Don't know what NSFW means? It means Not Safe For Work. As in, don't click this link or look at this site when you're at work or HR might be knocking on your door in a few minutes. What does all of this have to do with today's run? Well, I run across (no pun intended) some interesting items when I run. Like a poker chip, a golf ball, a rap CD, you get the idea. Well, today I found a Bluegrass Christmas CD. I almost kept it but after thinking about it for a few steps I realized that I don't really like bluegrass. So I left it there in the ditch.

I know, you must be thinking about how that has anything at all to do with NSFW. It doesn't. But it's a good segue to what else I found. A dildo. And a butt plug. Now, that alone would make for quite an interesting run. Interesting enough to make for quite an amusing story on the 3NonJoggers podcast. Interesting enough to make me stop in my tracks and take a picture.

But that's not the whole story. These weren't little sex toys. These were HUGE toys. Like the size of my fucking arm. HOLY. SHIT. HUGE. Don't believe me? Well, thanks to the magic of cell phones and the internet, here's my proof:

Weather:
Temps were about 90F to 95F. Humidity was high. Sun was out. There was a slight breeze later in the route.

Fluids and Fuel:
This was a lunch run. Breakfast was a burrito, oatmeal, yogurt, and iced coffee. During the run, I had one gel before I left, another at the turn-around point, and two bottles (one of ice water and one of iced Hammer Fizz). I finished both bottles by the end.

Aches and Pains:
My shins and calves felt tight for the first two miles. After that, things loosened up enough to be bearable. The heat was oppressive but again, bearable after a bit. I didn't get overheated like I usually do and did a much better job at managing my body's heat.

Gear:
Nothing special about my gear today. Wore my Hammer visor and loosened it up enough to not give myself a headache. Also took my iPod Shuffle to listen to an audiobook and some music.

Codename - NSFW Run
Yep, this pretty much explains it all.

Splits:
Outbound - 37:07
Inbound - 41:03
Finish - 1:18:10

Funky Funky Broadway

Report:
Yet another slog through the warm ovens of hell. But this time my mood has improved a bit. I think it was the distance and time spent on my feet. Nothing at all about my actual time made me happy but the idea that I really can go out and do something longer than 3 miles made me happy. I was hurting, sure, but it made me happy to know that I still have a little spark of insanity in me.

Beyond the heat and humidity, there isn't much exciting about today's run. I managed to make it back in time to not miss work and I managed to actually stretch a bit after I ate. I know you're supposed to do it right away but I was too interested in a cold drink, a cold shower, and some clean clothes. Then I got hungry and opted to eat my lunch before stretching. But at least I stretched.

Weather:
Temps were about 85F with high humidity. A bit cooler than yesterday though since there were more clouds out. It was cloudy enough to block out most of the sun. There was also a nice breeze blowing periodically, maybe 10 mph.

Fluids and Fuel:
Yet another pre-lunch run. Breakfast was a burrito, yogurt, and iced coffee. I had a glass of water before my run. During the run I had my hydration pack filled with ice water, a bottle of Hammer Fizz, and half a flask of EFS. I finished most of the water and Fizz and took the EFS at the halfway point. Recovery was chocolate ZICO during my cold shower. That was followed by a salad with some veggie burgers on top. And a few Oreos.

Aches and Pains:
None really to speak of. The ball of my left foot was a bit tender after my shower but beyond that, everything feels fine.

Gear:
I wore my Salomon hydration pack. It felt tighter than normal but it still hung in place when I undid the chest straps. I also took my phone to take some pictures. And my iPod to listen to a book. And my voice recorder to get another podcast episode on the books. Oh, and I wore my new North Face shorts and they worked just fine.

Codename - Funky Funky Broadway
Lately I feel like I've been stuck in a funk. Like I'm on Funky Funky Broadway and can't turn off.



Splits:
Outbound - 51:40
Inbound - 56:54
Finish - 1:48:35

No Time For Time

Report:
Opted to run watchless and on an unmarked/unknown route. The route is known but I didn't know the distances since I was going a bit wonky up and down the hills. In the end, I came out with about 3 miles run and no idea of how long it took me. I paced myself mainly on effort and, meh, did okay. Just not in the shape I want to be going into my next 50k. Not at all in the shape I want to be in.

Weather:
Temps were about 85F, humidity was high, and the sun was out. No noticeable wind.

Fluids and Fuel:
This was kind of a pre-lunch run. Breakfast was oatmeal, yogurt, and water. My first breakfast without coffee in ages. Had water before the run. During the run I had one bottle of watered-down NUUN. Recovery was chocolate ZICO (so damn glad I could find it on Amazon again). That was followed by a cold shower and lunch, which was a bean burrito and two veggie burgers.

Aches and Pains:
My calves felt a little tight but nothing major.

Gear:
Left the watch at home but listened to an audio book on my iPod. So far it's okay. Not great but not horrible, just okay. Ran shirtless but was tempted to test out my new Lumberjack suspenders.

Codename - No Time For Time
Just didn't want to be depressed by my slow pace. Maybe I'll do it more often so I can get my mojo back.

Splits:
Um, haven't you been reading? I didn't wear a watch.

Podcast - Mile 35 - Moab's Negro Bill

This was an unnumbered podcast that I recorded during my vacation to Utah. Why was it unnumbered? Because I forgot which mile I was on. Turns out, it's Mile 35. Anyway, I had the chance to record an episode while on a run. The trail at Negro Bill Canyon is a great run but be prepared to do some hiking and maybe a bit of scaling. After all, this is Utah.

If you can manage to stand listening to me flounder a bit at the beginning, you'll eventually hear me spew some words about my three big mistakes in the desert. I'll also touch on Johnny Depp's new movie, The Lone Ranger, as well as some of the places we visited.

And fair warning, this episode is a bit longer than most. Partly because I did more walking than normal and partly because my GPS signal wasn't as good as I wanted it to be.

Download or view on Podbean. Hopefully you won't cut your arm off to get away from the episode.

Stick!

Report:
So today was yet another day where I just had no motivation. It seems to be a recurring, living, nightmare. But I did my best to redeem myself tonight when we took the kids to track practice. And in an effort to punish myself as much as possible,  I did fartleks on the track.

The bad news is that it sucked and I hats the track. The good news is that my splits were so damnable predictable, I didn't really need a watch.

Weather:
Temps were about 90F or more and humidity was high. The sun was out but there were clouds too. Wind was nice and stiff but not bad enough to make you think it had a Viagra.

Fluids and Fuel:
Dinner was very light, just cheese, meat, and chips. During the run I had a bottle of ice water, a bottle of iced Hammer Fizz, and the rest of my mini-flask of Hammer Perpeteum. Recovery was a bottle of Hammer Recoverite mixed with chocolate ZICO.

Aches and Pains:
Nothing really hurt. Except maybe my pride when the kids beat me on a lap.

Gear:
Nothing fancy.

Codename - Stick!
The kids practiced their relay methods while I tried to look handsome and fast running the turns. Guess who did better?

Splits:
Lap 1 - 2:20
Lap 2 - 2:19
Lap 3 - 2:15
Lap 4 - 2:09
Lap 5 - 2:23
Lap 6 - 2:07
Lap 7 - 3:33
Lap 8 - 2:54
Lap 9 - 2:33
Lap 10 - 2:52
Lap 11 - 3:25
Lap 12 - 2:24
Lap 13 - 2:14
Lap 14 - 2:58
Lap 15 - 3:22
Lap 16 - 3:24
Finish - 43:09

Don't get your panties in a bunch

Report:
Woof, was it hot out there. I knew it would be but I went out anyway. I almost wimped out to do my 6 mile route instead of my 8 mile route but I decided to hang tough. And then I promptly wimped out on the 8 mile route and cut things short. In fact, I probably walked more of this route than ran it. It was just too damn hot out there.

Didn't see too much exciting out on the road. Just some cows, a horse, and a few goats. And some paper towels around a used condom. And half a mile later, a black thong. And I'm not talking about the kind you wear on your feet. At least they were safe.

Trust me, it's hotter than I look.

Weather:
Temps were about 99F with a heat index of 104F. That's right folks, I was a dumbshit to go out in this heat but I did it anyway. Humidity was low but plenty sticky. Wind was light, maybe 10 mph. Sun was out in full with no clouds to be seen.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was yogurt and iced coffee. Ran during lunch and only had water leading up to the run. During the run I had my hydration pack with ice water. I also had two Amphipod mini-flasks filled with one scoop each of Hammer Perpeteum and ice water. I also took my EFS flask (vanilla) to test. It worked fine but I noticed no difference in speed, energy, etc. Likely because it was too damn hot. I finished nearly all of my 1.5 liters of water, nearly one of the mini-flasks and about half of the EFS flask. Recovery was a cold shower, fast fan, and a bowl of frosted shredded wheat (Wegmans brand).

Aches and Pains:
Nothing really hurt since I was moving pretty damn slow. I did have to undo the chest straps on the hydration pack since I was finding it hard to breath later in the run. Aside from that, things felt fine.

Gear:
Took my hydration pack, two mini-flasks, and an EFS flask. I also had my iPod Shuffle and cell phone.

Codename - Don't get your panties in a bunch
Well, you heard me, don't get them in a bunch. And if you do, it's probably because you're not wearing a thong.

Splits:
Outbound - 34:57
Inbound - 40:10 (can you tell I slowed down in the heat?)
Finish - 1:15:07

Utah - Part 2

While I found Park City to be a bit quirky in a white-collar way, Moab was quirky in a blue-collar way. Park City reminded me of Bisbee, Arizona and Deadwood, South Dakota. An old mining town on a hill that has since been transformed by commerce and artists. Like this Banksy artwork.

Moab on the other hand, was flat and by a river. Still, it was an old mining town that commerce has changed. The big difference is the type of commerce. For Moab, it's tourism. You can do everything from land, air, and water in this town. You can walk, hike, run, bike, drive an ATV (or OHV as they call them), drive a Hummer, float down the river, kayak, raft, boat, swim, whatever you heart desires. Just expect to come back from your trip hot, tired, and a bit dirty from all the red dirt.

For some people, the muss and fuss is a bit beneath them. Seeing a women with dreadlocks and a shaved head might put them off a bit. But to me I felt like I was in a carnival of sorts. A carnival of young people that enjoy being outside.So it was no surprise to find people a bit scruffy in Moab. After all, they likely just spent 12 hours out in the desert having fun. And even though I limited my time in the sun, I still had fun.

One of the best spots was Negro Bill Canyon. Not exactly the best name for a place but hey, a country needs to have history to measure progress, right? This particular canyon is just outside of Moab and I think it represents pretty much the whole damn area. You pull off the road, park your car, head down the trail, and in two minutes you're lost in the wilderness. It was amazing to not only see the change in temperature but also the scenery. As a flatlander from the east, I loved the sand, rock, and sun. Just in little bite-sized pieces.

You could get lost, literally and figuratively, in a place like this. Thankfully I just got lost in the views. And there were plenty of them.

Pizza Pizza

Report:
After an 11:12 minute break to go to the bathroom, take a Hammer Gel, and swap bottles, I took off on the group run. My one mile warmup felt pretty good and the first mile of this run felt solid. After that, things got hot and a bit rougher. But I managed to take it easy and close hard. While I went out at a very comfortable pace, I knew I'd be taking walking breaks. so as the ladies of the class passed me, I knew I'd be reeling them back in. Sure enough, I was in the lead, got passed by 3 people, and eventually finished first. Not very common for me so I did a little happy dance when I finished. In my head of course.

Weather:
Temps were about 75F to 80F. Wind was light, maybe 10 mph. Sun was out in full. Humidity was moderate to high.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was a burrito, yogurt, and iced coffee. After my warm up and before the run I took a Hammer Gel. During the run I had a bottle of luke-warm Hammer Fizz and a bottle of ice water. I finished most of both by the end but liberally applied the ice water to my head, neck, back, chest, and thighs. Recovery was an attempt to like Vita Coca. It sucked compared to ZICO. That was then followed by a salad, iced latte, and a shower.

Aches and Pains:
Had a higher heart rate over the last mile than I wanted but I was pushing to pass the last person in the group to finish first. It was also hot and humid so I was overheating a bit. Outside of that, my feet were hotter than normal thanks to new black shoes.

Gear:
Wore my iPod Shuffle to listen to some music. It helped a lot. Also wore some new shoes, Altra Instincts. But they were black so my feet got a bit warmer than normal.

Codename - Pizza Pizza
Saw a slice of pizza in the middle of the road. Half eaten. And no, I wasn't tempted to eat what was left.

Splits:
Mile 1 - 10:30
Mile 2 - 10:40
Mile 3 - 10:29
Finish - 32:30

Utah - Part 1

So as I may have said a few weeks back, I went on vacation to Utah. For those that don't know, it was mainly an effort to get to know my mother better while visiting family and seeing new places. I pretty much accomplished everything I set out to do. I heard new stories about my mom, saw family I haven't seen in years, saw new places, did new things, ate lots of food, ran a few trails, almost saw Johnny Depp, and nearly got stuck on a cliff. I'm so thankful that I managed to not only find the time to take this trip but to also have a great wife that let me go and a great mom that paid for nearly everything.

So instead of me wasting words, here are a few pictures to hit the highlights (all of the pictures can be found here).

They say there's two ways to die in the desert; of thirst and of dehydration. It took a few days and a hard lesson but I finally learned to always have a drink in my hand. I really sealed the deal with a 2+ mile hike/run in 105 degree heat with no water.

Always follow the cairns (that pile of rocks that isn't quite natural). That's how they mark trails in the desert. If you can't see a cairn, you're probably lost and an hour or two from dying of thirst.

Arches National Park, Canyonlands National Park, and Dead Horse Point State Park are all very neat places to go see things. But it's the unexpected things that I found most interesting, like these rocks people places in natural mini-caves.

While my mom loved Arches, I found Canyonlands more fun. But both had their appealing and not so appealing parts. In the end, it was all about just having fun. There was other stuff to do too, but I'll spread these out to keep you coming back for more.

Photo update

First, I'm not back from vacation yet. But thanks to the power of the interwebz, I can schedule posts.

Now for a few pictures from our recent kayak trip:

Yes, this is a paddle-wheel boat. On a creek.

My lovely wife.

And this is from a recent run.