Thursday, July 09, 2015

Lost My Will?

No, I don't think I lost my will to run. And I don't think I've lost my motivation to run. I think I've lost my confidence. The confidence I used to have in myself and my ability to push myself into uncomfortable places to see what I can make of it. Kind of like a lump of coal getting into the back of a Volkswagen to come out of it as a diamond.

That was my epiphany as I ran, and walked, today. I think my latest bout of issues with running have stemmed from a lack of confidence. I'm sure I can get it back and plans are ruminating in my head about what to do after Oil Creek in October. But until then, I need to deal with what I have. Which doesn't feel like much.

I did my out and back for 5ish miles and then walked a loop for an extra mile around the hood. The walking mile felt kind of nice physically but the mental side was tough. Almost as tough as the 5 miles before hand where I struggled to put one foot in front of the other.

But I'll get there. As some would say, this too shall pass.

Some weeds/flowers along the way.

Temps were about 80F. Sun was out but skies were partly overcast. Almost no wind. Humidity was high.

Fluids and Fuel:
Pretty much nothing before the run. Bottle of plain water during the run. Recovery was coffee and two slices of toast. I've been feeling bloated lately so I eased off the food this morning. Felt good but still a little hungry.

Aches and Pains:
Right calf felt a little tweaky towards the end of the run. Nothing major but okay.

Tested out my merino wool shirt from Pulse. If fits nice, doesn't chafe, has a half-zip top, and it's wool. Which meant it was a little itchy. But I haven't washed it yet so maybe that's it. Plus, it's wool. Which meant it was warmer than I had hoped. Which meant I pretty much overheated within the first 10 minutes or so. But I stuck with it and made it to the end. Oh, and did I mention it's wool? That meant it was a little heavier than when I first started because it soaked up all that sweat. So I guess that makes it a mixed review. I'm thinking it would be a perfect fall/winter/spring shirt though.

Today's Motivation:
I wanted to get my run in early before the kids woke up. I didn't quite make it back before they got up but it was close. The kids that stayed over I'm sure were afraid of me. Not surprising since many assume I suffer from Bitchy Resting Face. I don't. I'm just a man who doesn't smile.

Naughty Neil:
I had hummus and pita chips last night. Really should have skipped them but I didn't. Felt the need to snack on something.

Outbound - 37:03
Inbound - 36:23
Extra Loop - 17:07
Finish - 1:30:35

1 comment:

Lauren said...