Do me in the butt drunk

Report:
Really didn't want to go for a long run today but felt like I had to do something. So I opted to squish my nuts on my bike seat for 3+ hours instead. Now I know why I don't like this sport. And why it's better suited for the ladies. And why cyclists look like a uni-sex Ken doll in their bike shorts. I swear I spent at least half this ride digging my manly parts out of my intestine. The other half I spent wishing I could run this fast. I mean, I pulled a 7 minute mile in there! How the hell can people run that fast?!


Dear God, look at that ugly guy:

Anyway, today's bike was decent. Parts were hard, other parts were easy, some part slow, others fast. But overall, I got a good workout. Which is really all I wanted.

The Isengard Swamp:

Along the way I spotted a camper with his dog, a possum carcass, and a cat. I also ran into fellow runner and trail nerd Wayne just as he was finishing up his run. Chatted for a few minutes and that was it.

New block wall/gun stop at the gun range:

 
Where the trail goes back into the woods after it comes out at the gun range:

Weather:
Temps started out at 60F, reached 65F about halfway through my ride, and finally peaked at 75F by the end of the ride. Sun was out but didn't see much of it since I was under some heavy tree canopy. There may have been a breeze but I didn't really feel it since I was going so fast (ha!). Humidity was low.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was water and oatmeal. I really wanted a coffee but apparently I didn't run enough water through my coffee maker after descaling it yesterday. Vinegar flavored coffee does not taste good in the morning. During the ride I had two bottles, one with Hammer Fizz and later Gatorade and one with Hammer Perpeteum. I also had my hydration pack with plain water. I ate two Twinkies about halfway through and some Power Bar gummi chew things with about 4 miles left. Recovery was two grilled cheese sandwiches and an iced latte followed by a shower.

Aches and Pains:
Pretty obvious what hurt here. After a year of not riding my bike, my ass was hurting about halfway through and killing me by the end. Still a bit tender. Outside of that, my right knee ached a bit towards the end as did my back.

Gear:
Um, my bike, clearly, and my helmet. Also had my hydration pack and that was about it. Nothing else special.

Codename - Do me in the butt drunk
Royanna H.  , I think I needed a beer before this ride. I'm certainly going to go get one before dinner. Maybe two. But no more than that (I'm a cheap date).

Splits:
Splits are rough guestimates since I'm not at all used to running splits on my watch while riding my bike. I sure as hell didn't want to wreck.
Mile 1 - 9:16
Mile 2 - 12:03
Mile 3 - 12:02
Mile 4 - 9:13
Mile 5 - 7:06
Mile 6 - 8:35
Mile 7 - 7:58
Mile 8 - 8:13
Aid Station/Rest Break - 25:24
Mile 9 - 7:52
Mile 10 - 10:15
Mile 11 - 7:37
Mile 12 - 8:00
Mile 13 - 8:00
Mile 14 - 8:28
Mile 15 - 9:24  (includes talking to Wayne)
Mile 16 - 8:36
Mile 17 - 6:10
Mile 18 - 5:45
Mile 19 - 12:11 (includes at least 6:00 of refueling and calling my wife)
Mile 20 - 6:48
Mile 21 - 7:14
Mile 22 - 7:41
Finish - 3:39:24 (includes 25:24 of transition - 3:14:00 total ride time)