Hey Ladies!

Sorry ladies, this Lumberjack is married!

And for clarification, yes, I did wear this outfit this weekend. But it was strictly because I was cross-training. With the weed eater, the lawn mower, and some weed killer.

NSFW Run

Report:
Don't know what NSFW means? It means Not Safe For Work. As in, don't click this link or look at this site when you're at work or HR might be knocking on your door in a few minutes. What does all of this have to do with today's run? Well, I run across (no pun intended) some interesting items when I run. Like a poker chip, a golf ball, a rap CD, you get the idea. Well, today I found a Bluegrass Christmas CD. I almost kept it but after thinking about it for a few steps I realized that I don't really like bluegrass. So I left it there in the ditch.

I know, you must be thinking about how that has anything at all to do with NSFW. It doesn't. But it's a good segue to what else I found. A dildo. And a butt plug. Now, that alone would make for quite an interesting run. Interesting enough to make for quite an amusing story on the 3NonJoggers podcast. Interesting enough to make me stop in my tracks and take a picture.

But that's not the whole story. These weren't little sex toys. These were HUGE toys. Like the size of my fucking arm. HOLY. SHIT. HUGE. Don't believe me? Well, thanks to the magic of cell phones and the internet, here's my proof:

Weather:
Temps were about 90F to 95F. Humidity was high. Sun was out. There was a slight breeze later in the route.

Fluids and Fuel:
This was a lunch run. Breakfast was a burrito, oatmeal, yogurt, and iced coffee. During the run, I had one gel before I left, another at the turn-around point, and two bottles (one of ice water and one of iced Hammer Fizz). I finished both bottles by the end.

Aches and Pains:
My shins and calves felt tight for the first two miles. After that, things loosened up enough to be bearable. The heat was oppressive but again, bearable after a bit. I didn't get overheated like I usually do and did a much better job at managing my body's heat.

Gear:
Nothing special about my gear today. Wore my Hammer visor and loosened it up enough to not give myself a headache. Also took my iPod Shuffle to listen to an audiobook and some music.

Codename - NSFW Run
Yep, this pretty much explains it all.

Splits:
Outbound - 37:07
Inbound - 41:03
Finish - 1:18:10

Funky Funky Broadway

Report:
Yet another slog through the warm ovens of hell. But this time my mood has improved a bit. I think it was the distance and time spent on my feet. Nothing at all about my actual time made me happy but the idea that I really can go out and do something longer than 3 miles made me happy. I was hurting, sure, but it made me happy to know that I still have a little spark of insanity in me.

Beyond the heat and humidity, there isn't much exciting about today's run. I managed to make it back in time to not miss work and I managed to actually stretch a bit after I ate. I know you're supposed to do it right away but I was too interested in a cold drink, a cold shower, and some clean clothes. Then I got hungry and opted to eat my lunch before stretching. But at least I stretched.

Weather:
Temps were about 85F with high humidity. A bit cooler than yesterday though since there were more clouds out. It was cloudy enough to block out most of the sun. There was also a nice breeze blowing periodically, maybe 10 mph.

Fluids and Fuel:
Yet another pre-lunch run. Breakfast was a burrito, yogurt, and iced coffee. I had a glass of water before my run. During the run I had my hydration pack filled with ice water, a bottle of Hammer Fizz, and half a flask of EFS. I finished most of the water and Fizz and took the EFS at the halfway point. Recovery was chocolate ZICO during my cold shower. That was followed by a salad with some veggie burgers on top. And a few Oreos.

Aches and Pains:
None really to speak of. The ball of my left foot was a bit tender after my shower but beyond that, everything feels fine.

Gear:
I wore my Salomon hydration pack. It felt tighter than normal but it still hung in place when I undid the chest straps. I also took my phone to take some pictures. And my iPod to listen to a book. And my voice recorder to get another podcast episode on the books. Oh, and I wore my new North Face shorts and they worked just fine.

Codename - Funky Funky Broadway
Lately I feel like I've been stuck in a funk. Like I'm on Funky Funky Broadway and can't turn off.



Splits:
Outbound - 51:40
Inbound - 56:54
Finish - 1:48:35

No Time For Time

Report:
Opted to run watchless and on an unmarked/unknown route. The route is known but I didn't know the distances since I was going a bit wonky up and down the hills. In the end, I came out with about 3 miles run and no idea of how long it took me. I paced myself mainly on effort and, meh, did okay. Just not in the shape I want to be going into my next 50k. Not at all in the shape I want to be in.

Weather:
Temps were about 85F, humidity was high, and the sun was out. No noticeable wind.

Fluids and Fuel:
This was kind of a pre-lunch run. Breakfast was oatmeal, yogurt, and water. My first breakfast without coffee in ages. Had water before the run. During the run I had one bottle of watered-down NUUN. Recovery was chocolate ZICO (so damn glad I could find it on Amazon again). That was followed by a cold shower and lunch, which was a bean burrito and two veggie burgers.

Aches and Pains:
My calves felt a little tight but nothing major.

Gear:
Left the watch at home but listened to an audio book on my iPod. So far it's okay. Not great but not horrible, just okay. Ran shirtless but was tempted to test out my new Lumberjack suspenders.

Codename - No Time For Time
Just didn't want to be depressed by my slow pace. Maybe I'll do it more often so I can get my mojo back.

Splits:
Um, haven't you been reading? I didn't wear a watch.

Podcast - Mile 35 - Moab's Negro Bill

This was an unnumbered podcast that I recorded during my vacation to Utah. Why was it unnumbered? Because I forgot which mile I was on. Turns out, it's Mile 35. Anyway, I had the chance to record an episode while on a run. The trail at Negro Bill Canyon is a great run but be prepared to do some hiking and maybe a bit of scaling. After all, this is Utah.

If you can manage to stand listening to me flounder a bit at the beginning, you'll eventually hear me spew some words about my three big mistakes in the desert. I'll also touch on Johnny Depp's new movie, The Lone Ranger, as well as some of the places we visited.

And fair warning, this episode is a bit longer than most. Partly because I did more walking than normal and partly because my GPS signal wasn't as good as I wanted it to be.

Download or view on Podbean. Hopefully you won't cut your arm off to get away from the episode.

Stick!

Report:
So today was yet another day where I just had no motivation. It seems to be a recurring, living, nightmare. But I did my best to redeem myself tonight when we took the kids to track practice. And in an effort to punish myself as much as possible,  I did fartleks on the track.

The bad news is that it sucked and I hats the track. The good news is that my splits were so damnable predictable, I didn't really need a watch.

Weather:
Temps were about 90F or more and humidity was high. The sun was out but there were clouds too. Wind was nice and stiff but not bad enough to make you think it had a Viagra.

Fluids and Fuel:
Dinner was very light, just cheese, meat, and chips. During the run I had a bottle of ice water, a bottle of iced Hammer Fizz, and the rest of my mini-flask of Hammer Perpeteum. Recovery was a bottle of Hammer Recoverite mixed with chocolate ZICO.

Aches and Pains:
Nothing really hurt. Except maybe my pride when the kids beat me on a lap.

Gear:
Nothing fancy.

Codename - Stick!
The kids practiced their relay methods while I tried to look handsome and fast running the turns. Guess who did better?

Splits:
Lap 1 - 2:20
Lap 2 - 2:19
Lap 3 - 2:15
Lap 4 - 2:09
Lap 5 - 2:23
Lap 6 - 2:07
Lap 7 - 3:33
Lap 8 - 2:54
Lap 9 - 2:33
Lap 10 - 2:52
Lap 11 - 3:25
Lap 12 - 2:24
Lap 13 - 2:14
Lap 14 - 2:58
Lap 15 - 3:22
Lap 16 - 3:24
Finish - 43:09

Don't get your panties in a bunch

Report:
Woof, was it hot out there. I knew it would be but I went out anyway. I almost wimped out to do my 6 mile route instead of my 8 mile route but I decided to hang tough. And then I promptly wimped out on the 8 mile route and cut things short. In fact, I probably walked more of this route than ran it. It was just too damn hot out there.

Didn't see too much exciting out on the road. Just some cows, a horse, and a few goats. And some paper towels around a used condom. And half a mile later, a black thong. And I'm not talking about the kind you wear on your feet. At least they were safe.

Trust me, it's hotter than I look.

Weather:
Temps were about 99F with a heat index of 104F. That's right folks, I was a dumbshit to go out in this heat but I did it anyway. Humidity was low but plenty sticky. Wind was light, maybe 10 mph. Sun was out in full with no clouds to be seen.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was yogurt and iced coffee. Ran during lunch and only had water leading up to the run. During the run I had my hydration pack with ice water. I also had two Amphipod mini-flasks filled with one scoop each of Hammer Perpeteum and ice water. I also took my EFS flask (vanilla) to test. It worked fine but I noticed no difference in speed, energy, etc. Likely because it was too damn hot. I finished nearly all of my 1.5 liters of water, nearly one of the mini-flasks and about half of the EFS flask. Recovery was a cold shower, fast fan, and a bowl of frosted shredded wheat (Wegmans brand).

Aches and Pains:
Nothing really hurt since I was moving pretty damn slow. I did have to undo the chest straps on the hydration pack since I was finding it hard to breath later in the run. Aside from that, things felt fine.

Gear:
Took my hydration pack, two mini-flasks, and an EFS flask. I also had my iPod Shuffle and cell phone.

Codename - Don't get your panties in a bunch
Well, you heard me, don't get them in a bunch. And if you do, it's probably because you're not wearing a thong.

Splits:
Outbound - 34:57
Inbound - 40:10 (can you tell I slowed down in the heat?)
Finish - 1:15:07

Utah - Part 2

While I found Park City to be a bit quirky in a white-collar way, Moab was quirky in a blue-collar way. Park City reminded me of Bisbee, Arizona and Deadwood, South Dakota. An old mining town on a hill that has since been transformed by commerce and artists. Like this Banksy artwork.

Moab on the other hand, was flat and by a river. Still, it was an old mining town that commerce has changed. The big difference is the type of commerce. For Moab, it's tourism. You can do everything from land, air, and water in this town. You can walk, hike, run, bike, drive an ATV (or OHV as they call them), drive a Hummer, float down the river, kayak, raft, boat, swim, whatever you heart desires. Just expect to come back from your trip hot, tired, and a bit dirty from all the red dirt.

For some people, the muss and fuss is a bit beneath them. Seeing a women with dreadlocks and a shaved head might put them off a bit. But to me I felt like I was in a carnival of sorts. A carnival of young people that enjoy being outside.So it was no surprise to find people a bit scruffy in Moab. After all, they likely just spent 12 hours out in the desert having fun. And even though I limited my time in the sun, I still had fun.

One of the best spots was Negro Bill Canyon. Not exactly the best name for a place but hey, a country needs to have history to measure progress, right? This particular canyon is just outside of Moab and I think it represents pretty much the whole damn area. You pull off the road, park your car, head down the trail, and in two minutes you're lost in the wilderness. It was amazing to not only see the change in temperature but also the scenery. As a flatlander from the east, I loved the sand, rock, and sun. Just in little bite-sized pieces.

You could get lost, literally and figuratively, in a place like this. Thankfully I just got lost in the views. And there were plenty of them.

Pizza Pizza

Report:
After an 11:12 minute break to go to the bathroom, take a Hammer Gel, and swap bottles, I took off on the group run. My one mile warmup felt pretty good and the first mile of this run felt solid. After that, things got hot and a bit rougher. But I managed to take it easy and close hard. While I went out at a very comfortable pace, I knew I'd be taking walking breaks. so as the ladies of the class passed me, I knew I'd be reeling them back in. Sure enough, I was in the lead, got passed by 3 people, and eventually finished first. Not very common for me so I did a little happy dance when I finished. In my head of course.

Weather:
Temps were about 75F to 80F. Wind was light, maybe 10 mph. Sun was out in full. Humidity was moderate to high.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was a burrito, yogurt, and iced coffee. After my warm up and before the run I took a Hammer Gel. During the run I had a bottle of luke-warm Hammer Fizz and a bottle of ice water. I finished most of both by the end but liberally applied the ice water to my head, neck, back, chest, and thighs. Recovery was an attempt to like Vita Coca. It sucked compared to ZICO. That was then followed by a salad, iced latte, and a shower.

Aches and Pains:
Had a higher heart rate over the last mile than I wanted but I was pushing to pass the last person in the group to finish first. It was also hot and humid so I was overheating a bit. Outside of that, my feet were hotter than normal thanks to new black shoes.

Gear:
Wore my iPod Shuffle to listen to some music. It helped a lot. Also wore some new shoes, Altra Instincts. But they were black so my feet got a bit warmer than normal.

Codename - Pizza Pizza
Saw a slice of pizza in the middle of the road. Half eaten. And no, I wasn't tempted to eat what was left.

Splits:
Mile 1 - 10:30
Mile 2 - 10:40
Mile 3 - 10:29
Finish - 32:30

Utah - Part 1

So as I may have said a few weeks back, I went on vacation to Utah. For those that don't know, it was mainly an effort to get to know my mother better while visiting family and seeing new places. I pretty much accomplished everything I set out to do. I heard new stories about my mom, saw family I haven't seen in years, saw new places, did new things, ate lots of food, ran a few trails, almost saw Johnny Depp, and nearly got stuck on a cliff. I'm so thankful that I managed to not only find the time to take this trip but to also have a great wife that let me go and a great mom that paid for nearly everything.

So instead of me wasting words, here are a few pictures to hit the highlights (all of the pictures can be found here).

They say there's two ways to die in the desert; of thirst and of dehydration. It took a few days and a hard lesson but I finally learned to always have a drink in my hand. I really sealed the deal with a 2+ mile hike/run in 105 degree heat with no water.

Always follow the cairns (that pile of rocks that isn't quite natural). That's how they mark trails in the desert. If you can't see a cairn, you're probably lost and an hour or two from dying of thirst.

Arches National Park, Canyonlands National Park, and Dead Horse Point State Park are all very neat places to go see things. But it's the unexpected things that I found most interesting, like these rocks people places in natural mini-caves.

While my mom loved Arches, I found Canyonlands more fun. But both had their appealing and not so appealing parts. In the end, it was all about just having fun. There was other stuff to do too, but I'll spread these out to keep you coming back for more.

Photo update

First, I'm not back from vacation yet. But thanks to the power of the interwebz, I can schedule posts.

Now for a few pictures from our recent kayak trip:

Yes, this is a paddle-wheel boat. On a creek.

My lovely wife.

And this is from a recent run.

Screw This, I'm Leaving

That's right, I quit. I'm done. I give up. See ya later. Screw you. Good bye.

Well, sort of.

You see, I'm going on vacation. And I'm really run-down mentally. I'm hoping to find my mojo on my trip. If not, well, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. But in the meantime, here's what you can expect from me.

Nothing.

Well, sort of.

I'll occasionally tweet here. I will not be podcasting. I will not be blogging. I will be tracking my runs on DailyMile here but I will only be tracking miles and equipment and, if I'm lucky, my routes.

As they say at work, that's the "high-level" view of where I'm going and what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. Want the meat of the story? Then keep reading.
 
Take a gander at Jim's post on his journey through depression. Why is this relevant? Because I've struggled with depression and various other mental maladies for a long time. But keep in mind, these struggles are strictly self-diagnosed. So, back to depression. I can remember in high school and middle school and college and so on fighting "the blues." I'd break down and cry over some stupid shit and I often questioned why these bad things were happening to me. I never got an answer.

Over time, I made due and adjusted to these negative thoughts. I even spent a few months on Zoloft. It made me feel buzzy, almost high. My mood improved but the negative thoughts were just muted and less vocal. They were still there, just not as loud. Fast-forward a few years and I get back into running to help my body get into shape. Clearly I had forgotten how much it helped my mind. After nearly every run, I felt great mentally. Even on bad runs, I still felt better than when I went out. Sure, there were really bad runs where I felt worse, but the majority of the time, the running helped my mind just as much as my body.

Through running I've met many great people. One has been nearly like a twin to me. Even though we don't talk as much as we used to, we still check-in every now and then just to see how each other is doing. He has a lot of the same thoughts as I do and vice versa. But I don't know if he suffers from the same mental illnesses as I do. And that doesn't really matter. What matters is I followed his lead and got help. It felt like hurdling a log on the trail after 30 miles of running. Very hard and damn near impossible.

Despite hurdles, I got help. I went to therapy. I talked about things I've never talked about to anyone. Not my mother. Not my father. Not even my wife. In fact, some of these things brought me so much shame, I rarely thought about them because I just wanted to shut them out and pretend they never happened. Well, they did happen. Were these things normal? Who the hell knows. But more importantly, who the hell cares. They happened. There's nothing to do about them now except to move on.

And that's what I'm working on now; moving on. I've made strides in therapy and my mind. I can only hope my wife and the rest of my family can see the same progress in those relationships as well. Things aren't perfect but they're certainly better than they used to be. And that's all I care about. Making progress.

I don't want to air all my dirty laundry here because I know there are friends, family, and various acquaintances that read my blog (hi Jean!). And that's fine that people read, but I do want to keep some of my private life private. So you won't see everything behind the curtain. But I'll share what I feel comfortable with.

The biggest is what I've already talked about; therapy and depression. Therapy carries such a heavy stigma to it and it's such a shame. If you need help, if you need to talk to somebody, go to therapy. It'll take a bit to get used to, but the therapist really isn't going to judge you. There's no shame in asking for help. So if you do need help, stop reading now and go make an appointment.

And depression? Well, it carries just as much stigma to it. Do I really suffer from depression? Beats the hell out of me. I've self-diagnosed myself. But I know running and therapy help me deal with the moods. The same goes for my OCD. Again, I've self-diagnosed myself, but I think it's much clearer that I do suffer from some mild OCD. How do I know? Easy. How many people do you know that touch corners? I've mentioned this before, but I touch corners. Not inside ones, outside ones. As in the ones that stick out, like a door frame or a desk or dresser. Why do I do this? I don't know, I just do. Same goes for counting and certain "rituals" I go through when I do certain things.

I know a lot of athletes have a "good luck charm." I sort of do too except it's not really a good luck charm to me, it's just something that I need to have when I go run. Could this just be a habit instead of OCD? Maybe, but doubtful. To me, habit would be putting a seat belt on when I get into a car. OCD would be getting a little panicky and stopping a run early because I don't have my necklace.

So, getting back to my point at the start. I'm taking a hiatus and going on vacation. My mother is already in Utah and I'll be joining her there shortly. I'll be back after the Fourth of July, hopefully with a heap of running mojo. My focus for this vacation is to spend time with my mother and family, relax, run, and generally just to chill the fuck out.

So, until I get back, CTFO baby, CTFO.

Podcast - Mile 34 - A Pirate's Life

Welcome to the doldrums. That low point in training when you feel like crap but know you need to keep going. That's where I'm at right now and I just can't seem to bust out of my funk.

Maybe if I turn into a whirlpool and suck some of you down into Davy Jones' Locker with me, I'll feel better. Well, at least I'll have company.

But before I maroon you on an island of woe with only one bullet in your pistol, I do touch a bit on my upcoming review for Deerfly Patches. You see, my arch enemy the Tabanidae (aka the deer fly, horse fly, or the fly that will eat the fucking shit out of you while you run), has a weakness. And I've found a way to exploit it. So while I work on my wording and give the patch a few more test runs, enjoy this particular episode.

Or not you scurvy dog.


Download or view on Podbean me hearties.

Race Distances

So I got an email from the organizers of the Run for the Dream Half Marathon in Williamsburg stating that the course may have been longer than intended. I knew my time was longer than expected but I figured it was the hills that did me in. Turns out the distance also helped slow me down.

According to them, the distance was "13.46876 miles as opposed to 13.10938, for an “overage” of 0.35938 miles." Not too terrible. My "official" time dropped from 2:33:52 to 2:29:45. Still not my best time but better than before.

I'm glad the organizers listened to the runners with GPS watches and checked the distance. I usually don't put much weight into the GPS distance since it's proven to not be 100% accurate. After you read what goes into making a course USATF certified, you'd understand how a watch can't match the level of detail. Anyway, I'm glad they listened. It tells me they care enough to read all the comments and to freely admit they made a mistake. Honesty goes a long way in my book.

And while I'm glad they admitted they were at fault, I do have an issue with their time adjustment. I don't like their math. I'm not saying the math isn't valid, but it doesn't factor in the unknown variables. For me, that would be a negative split. Do I negative split every race or every run? Absolutely not. But I do have that tendency, especially in races. And if you look at my report, you'll see that from Mile 11 to the finish, I'm running faster. Mile 11 was 12:30, Mile 12 was 11:22, and Mile 13 was 10:45. A drop in time of 1:45 over the last couple of miles, which doesn't get factored into their equation.

Does this mean they're right and I'm wrong? No. It just means that nobody is perfect. I clearly ran this race much slower than my PR of 2:19:03 (it's even slower than my trail PR of 2:23:24).

So what's the bottom line here? I'm just as much at fault as the race organizers. And if they can admit their mistake, so can I. I had a bad race and they had a bad measurement. Let's call it square and move on to the next event.

Baked On

Report:
My first run after Sunday's 50k and I'm feeling good. About 90% of my chafe healed by Monday morning but there was still a hint of pain in my nipples. They felt fine by today. Luckily, my muscles appear to be just fine with only some mild tenderness. Sunday night my toes hurt, which is pretty common, but by Monday I felt about like I was about at 90%. Today I felt much better but still not quite 100%. Maybe it was the heat.

Today's run was pretty low-key, it was mostly just to get out the door and get moving on my feet. About 10 feet into the run I could feel the heat and humidity kicking my ass. My muscles, especially my calves, didn't really hurt until about a tenth of a mile in. By the end, I was dealing with the heat and the DOMS but managing just fine.

Weather:
Temps were about 85F. Humidity was high at about 60% to 65%. Winds were light. Sun was out in full.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was a burrito, vegan sausage, and iced coffee. The sausage kicked my ass. During the run I had a bottle of ice water and a bottle of iced NUUN. Recovery was water and a large salad. Followed by half a mousse pie (a small one).

Aches and Pains:
My calves hurt the worst but beyond feeling stiff and sore, things were fine. And even the aches and pains I had were pretty mild.

Gear:
I loaded up on my Mission Skincare sunblock but no other gear.

Codename - Baked On
I was about halfway through my run when I was suddenly smelling my sunblock. It was then that it occurred to me that the sunblock was getting baked on.

Splits:
Outbound - 21:36
Inbound - 21:51
Finish - 43:27

Fat Ass 50k in Pictures

Totally stole these pics from my running partner but she won't mind. First, we have the "before" shot:

Then we have the "during" shot (which was actually only 5 miles into the run):

Then we have the "after" shot (as in after 31 miles/8 and a half hours on the trail):

What Happens Here, Stays Here

Report:
31 miles bitches. And I still don't think that's enough to put me on top of the leader board. You other overachievers need to slow the hell down.

And while I was SOOO tempted to just write nothing, my compulsive need to write won't let me. Plus I think those crazy enough to like what I write might get mad. All 3 of you. And why can't I pick both the "blah" face and the "happy" face?

Okay, my day started at 0300 when my "internal" alarm went off and I thought it was time to go run. Turns out I still had two hours to sleep. And I tried. At 0500 when my alarm went off, I hauled my butt into the shower, cleaned up just enough to not offend anybody, then got my gear on. I was out the door and at the local gas station by 0530, picked up water, Gatorade, and ice. Loaded up and organized the coolers and dropped them off at the three designated aid stations (Mile 4, Mile 8.25, and Mile 12.75 on the trail). I made it to Mile 0, our starting line, just in time to beat Biddi . Karyl-Lynne T. showed up a few minutes later and we chatted a bit. We waited for Nebs for a few minutes, then left without him. I have no idea how long KL kept us in sight, I pretty much forgot about her once we headed out. Nebs did end up catching us just before Mile 1 or so and easily matched our pace. I set the pace to run a mile then walk a minute. I was a bit worried with Biddi being sick this week but she was doing well and Nebs was entertaining us so we kept going. And I can honestly say those first few miles with him were the best. He and Biddi had great stories that they shared and you could tell they had made that bond that runners do when they go the distance with each other. It's a mental thing and until you have that bond, it's hard to explain. It means a lot to me, I could see it with them, and it made me feel good to see it. Having said that, I'd love to crew, pace, or run with either of these goofballs anytime.

We made our first pit-stop at Mile 4, refilled water bottles, ate food, talked, etc. We carried on until Mile 5 when we had to leave Ryan behind sine he ran out of "me time" and had to pay with some smoochy time with his wife (not really, but it sounds funnier that way).

From there, it was just Badass Biddi and me. We made it to the Mile 8 cooler, refilled, and carried on to the next cooler just past Mile 12. From there we ran a short stint on the road, maybe a mile, to avoid some seriously tall grass. We eventually made it back to the trail at Mile 14 where I coaxed another half mile out of Biddi on the condition that we'd head back the same way and enjoy the ease of running on the road.

The way back was a bit more exciting than the way out. Our outbound leg saw just one other runner, Wayne - a local runner I've begun to see a lot on the trail. On the way back we saw five cyclists (two pair and one solo), one lady walking her dog, one runner, and two nudists.

Wait, did I just say nudists? Yup. Nude sunbathers. They weren't skinny dipping because the swamp isn't swimmer friendly. They may have been having sex but I didn't see any movement. Until they saw us when they jumped into the bushes and into their clothes. After we passed them I looked back but alas, there was no double-feature. Oh well.

Overall, the trail had lots of tall grass, a few briars, and a few deer. The spiderwebs were pretty sparse. We saw one snake which prompted me to do my lady-dance to the other side of the trail nearly knocking Biddi into the bushes. I'm sure she felt great knowing that I wouldn't be protecting her from the snake but instead shoving her out of the way to save myself. There were plenty of deer flies, my arch nemesis, but I came prepared today. In fact, I ended up winning the battle against them. I'll leave you with a little tease by telling you it's called "Deerfly Paper." I'll review them later but the bottom line is, that shit works.

What didn't work for me was the heat. Towards the end of the run I was running hot and getting dehydrated. But I pushed myself further than I thought I could. With 6 miles left, I was ready (mentally) to walk. So I just told myself to run/walk to the next half mile marker and walk from there. I made it another 4 miles doing this. Granted, I slowed way down, but I still had some run left in me. Once I got to the car with 2 miles left though, I was done. I ran a bit but my walking was most of my movement. Biddi on the other hand was still. fucking. running. She may have moaned and groaned but damn, she still moved.

So what's the bottom line from today's run? I can do more than I think I can. My pace was good. Slow but good. My fueling was okay but a bit lighter than it should have been. My hydration was fine until the last 8 to 10 miles when I needed to increase it. My electrolytes were fine. My lubrication was much lower than it needed to be (I'm currently nursing some chafe that I didn't feel until I finished). Same goes for my feet where I don't have chafe but have some warm spots and maybe a blister or two (on my two problem toes). I need to install velcro on my Lone Peaks so I can wear gaiters. They would have helped a ton. I needed to pack towels to dry off with at the aid stations (and to also get wet to cool down with). I guess a rag instead of a towel would work too. I needed a cooler at my car so I could keep my beer cold instead of using a bag of ice so it leaks all over my car floor. I don't need music to run with. I carried my iPod Shuffle the entire way and was tempted in the final miles to use it but once I got close to the end, I wanted to prove to myself that I didn't need it. Running with somebody is sooo much better than running solo, especially over long distances. Biddi is a badass but she's also a goddess for putting up with my shit for 31 miles. Nearly 9 hours with my sweaty, stinky, whiny self and never once did she flinch. In fact, she was badass enough to give me a hug at the end. And I was topless. Dear God is she crazy. Oh, did I mention that she thinks I sound like a movie star? What. The. Fuck. Is she crazy or what?

Weather:
Temps started around 55F to 60F and ended around 70F to 75F. The sun was out. There was a breeze. The humidity was light.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was a banana and a small can of Starbucks Espresso. I have no idea what I ate today. Or how much I drank. So I'll guess. I had a few Ritz, a few Oreos, two bags of chips, a couple of Hammer gels, at least three bottles of Hammer Perpeteum, and several bottles of Hammer Fizz. I also had plain water and about two bottles of Gatorade. I also had a small can of Starbucks Espresso and a banana. Recovery was a beer followed by a bottle of Hammer Recoverite then dinner (ham, potato, corn, and wacky cake).

Aches and Pains:
I took a few spears to the toes and stepped on a few pointy rocks. The worst was the rocks in my socks and shoes. My nipples started to chafe a bit towards the end but some BodyGlide made things better. After I finished, I felt the chafe in the nether regions. My legs and back were hurting at the end too but nothing unexpected. Knees, ankles, feet, hips, thighs, everything.

Gear:
I opted for handhelds today to test them out over the longer distance. They worked fine. I did struggle a few times with the cold when I put ice in them, but outside of that, they worked fine. I wasn't sure about the weight over the duration but managed just fine.

Codename - What Happens Here, Stays Here
There's so much said out on the trail that I could write a novel about the content, back story, and implications. But alas, what happens on the trail, stays on the trail. Well, most of it. Not everyone would understand how a right-handed snake that's a dentist but uses their left handed for the moon cup would frighten me.

Splits:
Miles 1 and 2 - 21:54 (10:57 average)
Miles 3 and 4 - 26:12 (13:06 average - includes aid station)
Mile 5 - 10:45
Mile 6 - 20:42 (includes a rap session with Nebs before he left)
Mile 7 - 22:21 (includes some equipment adjustment and the gun range bypass)
Mile 8 - 12:27
Mile 9 - 17:15 (includes aid station)
Mile 10 - 16:20 (I think this had more equipment adjustments)
Mile 11 - 12:22
Mile 12 - 12:02
Miles 13 and 14 - 37:46 (18:53 average - mostly on the road - includes aid station)
Mile 15 - 18:32
Miles 16 and 17 - 43:06 (21:33 average - mostly on the road - includes aid station)
Mile 18 - 13:14
Mile 19 - 17:18
Mile 20 - 12:20
Mile 21 - 28:42 (includes aid station)
Mile 22 - 16:48 (includes a bit of extra walking to let the nudists dress)
Mile 23 - 16:15 (includes gun range bypass)
Mile 24 - 14:41
Mile 25 - 14:58
Mile 26 - 23:34 (includes aid station)
Mile 27 - 14:27
Mile 28 - 14:38
Mile 29 - 14:51
Mile 30 - 18:10 (includes grabbing a water bottle and heading right back out)
Mile 31 - 17:35
Finish - 8:29:26

Peer Pressure

Report:
Had a nice run today, mostly because I had some company for most of it. Managed to sneak out of work for a long lunch, drop off trash at the dump, then head over to the Y for a group run. Got two miles in before the group run started then headed out with a very small group (only four of us total) for another 3 miles. I must have been desperate for company because I ran the entire final 3 miles with Amanda, my running buddy, and talked to her for a solid 2 miles. Very rare indeed.

And to top it all off, we ran fast. Yet I was still able to talk. In fact, I tried to stop for a short walking break at mile 1 and she said "no no, keep going" and then I nearly puked at mile 2 but we kept going. Amazing that she pushed me to that speed and distance and yet I didn't die. I loved it.

Weather:
Temps were about 70F to 74F. Humidity was high but more bearable than it has been in the past. Sun was only out for about 2 minutes, the rest of the time it was very overcast. Light breeze.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was a burrito, eggs, and iced coffee. During the run I had a bottle of plain water for the first two miles, took some Power Bar chewy things, then ran the final three miles on a bottle of Hammer Fizz. Recovery was an iced latte and sliders.

Aches and Pains:
Well, I nearly puked at mile 4 (mile 2 of the group run) but beyond that felt fine.

Gear:
Took my phone and voice recorder for the first two miles then ditched it in my locker since it looked like it was going to rain (it never did). Outside of that, no special gear. I did test some Deep Woods Off (which is heavy on DEET) to keep the deer flies away but with the weather, I'm not sure if this a solid conclusion. Almost forgot, I also tested out the Zombies, Run! app on my phone. So far, it's okay.

Codename - Peer Pressure
It's nice to have somebody that can talk to you, listen to you, and push you along at the same time too. Even when they're suffering. I'll miss my running partner when she moves to Turkey this summer.

Splits:
Mile 1 - 10:28
Mile 2 - 11:44 (tested out the Zombies, Run! app here)
Aid Station - 8:43
Mile 3 - 9:41
Mile 4 - 10:13
Mile 5 - 9:58
Last 5k - 30:53
Finish - 1:01:49

You know you're a runner if...

Report:
Had 30 minutes for lunch so I spent 20 minutes running and 10 minutes showering. Better than nothing. As for this run, it was fast. I didn't intend to go fast but I felt like I was in a rush so I had to perform under pressure and get the run done. I wanted to make it the full 3+ mile route but decided to take a shorter lunch to make a meeting later today. Which means the entire run I felt a looming pressure to get back fast. Which was compounded by the sudden deerfly attack just as I approached the hill. I promptly ran down and back up the hill as quickly as I could. Talk about making your hill workout a speed workout. Sheesh!


Sorry, no pics today since I ran in the rain.

Weather:
Temps were about 75F but humidity was at 100% with a few light sprinkles. Temps felt like 70F as I started due to the rain and light breeze but the rain and wind stopped and the temps suddenly warmed up quickly. No sun.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was yogurt, oatmeal, iced coffee, and eggs. During the run I had cold water in a bottle. Recovery was half a bottle of Gatorade followed by leftover pork chop, corn and orzo salad (orzo with peppers, onion, garlic, and feta).

Aches and Pains:
Deerflies. Nuf said.

Gear:
No gear since I expected to get soaked (which I didn't since the rain disappeared).

Codename - You know you're a runner if...
...you accidentally forget your beer bottle in the shower after a long run in the heat.
...you find empty gel packets when you pull your running clothes out of the washer.
...you know exactly how many miles are on each of your running shoes. All 25 pair.

Splits:
Outbound - 9:57 (downhill)
Inbound - 10:30 (uphill)
Finish - 20:28

Three Stings

Update:
Turns out, a local property owner was doing more than just burning stuff in a fire pit. This is the source behind all the smoke during this run.

Report:
Went out between breakfast and lunch and I'm just too damn lazy to write about everything. So here are the highlights. It was hot. I saw a six to eight foot black snake (not sure if it was dead or alive and I didn't stick around to check). I found where they've been logging on my road.

That's not fog or even haze, that's smoke:

Weather:
Temps were easily 75F to 80F. Humidity was high. No wind. Sun was out in full.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was Greek yogurt (honey flavor is the best) and water. Since there was a long delay between breakfast and my run and since I didn't eat much, I took one Hammer Gel before the run and one at the halfway point. I also had two bottles, one of iced Hammer Fizz and the other was just plain ice water. Recovery was Hammer Recoverite followed by leftover pizza.

Logging down the road from me:

Aches and Pains:
My left ankle felt a little tweaky at about mile 4 but it went away. After today's run, I feel that my heat acclimation has reached about 70%. I think it'll plateau some here but I'll eventually get to 100%.

Gear:
No special gear but I did take my iPod Shuffle.

You know you live in the country when you judge distance by a specific farm:

Codename - Three Stings
The sweat was stringing my eyes since I forgot to put my Mission sunblock on my face. The smoke was stinging my lungs since somebody down the road decided to burn some wood. The deer flies stung my skin since they apparently like my blood.

Splits:
Outbound - 32:32
Inbound - 35:40 (3 minutes off pace but most of that was in the final mile)
Finish - 1:08:12