Depression: Can you control it?

Probably not, but you might as well try.

That pretty much sums up my run this morning. I wanted to go outside and enjoy the sun, breathe some fresh air, and clear my head. Turns out I wasn't able to do much of any of that. Isn't there a saying about paving roads with good intentions?

Anyway, I was barely a mile into my run when it just started to suck out there. It was cold but my hands had just started to warm up. And yet I just couldn't find any gas in the tank. Nothing between my ears would make me move any better or faster or more willingly.

So even though I couldn't really control the melancholy, I tried.

Photo:
Proof that I broke a sweat and didn't enjoy it.

Weather:
Temps were about 35F. Sky was clear. Winds were light.

Fluids and Fuel:
Had a few sips of coffee before the run. During the run I had half a bottle of plain water. Recovery was a naughty breakfast with coffee. But oh did it taste good. That hashbrown was delicious.

Aches and Pains:
Felt sluggish but no pain.

Gear:
Wore shorts, pants, thermal top, long sleeve shirt, hat, gloves, and BUFF.

Naughty Neil:
Ate fairly well yesterday, including a good snack last night. Breakfast today wasn't so great but it was great tasting. I usually feel guilty eating bad food but not today.

Today's Motivation:
I was hoping to clear my head and recharge my batteries but I ended up struggling to get 3 miles in. Glad I didn't push it to 4 because it really would have sucked.

Splits:
Mile 1 - 15:26 (includes a pee break)
Mile 2 - 14:49
Mile 3 - 13:42
Finish - 43:58

Baaaptism

Today's run is dedicated to the awesomeness of Lauren. Not only is she a great ultra-runner, she's great at writing blog posts, taking pictures, and even breaking cameras. I know I've mentioned her before but today she gets some special attention because she sent me not one but two hats. And, better yet, they're Nanny Goat hats! I've read her reports about Nanny Goat and heard from others here on the east coast that love the event so it felt great to get some swag. Plus it helps re-affirm how awesome the ultra running community is. We really are like family.

Anyway, with my new hat on, I was able to break out of the funk I was in earlier this week and get my run from yesterday done. I'm sure my coach won't like it much but I didn't really stick to the planned intervals. But I got the time in so I was happy.

I felt like running in the dark but running in the dark on the treadmill doesn't really give you any benefit. Other than keeping things a bit more mellow and nearly running off the end of the treadmill in the first few steps, it didn't seem to do much for me.

Overall I felt better after the run and pretty good during the run. Had some tightness in my ankle and calves but that went away when I increased the incline.

Photo:
Don't mind me, I'm just a horny old goat.

Weather:
Indoor temp was 74F.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was a burrito, iced latte, and banana. During the run I had just water and applesauce. Recovery was corn, peas, brown rice, and taco meat. And more coffee.

Aches and Pains:
Left ankle felt tight for a good half hour like I needed to crack it. Finally went away when I increased the incline. Both calves felt tight and sluggish but I dealt with it and tried to push through. I think part of the problem is lack of fluids.

Gear:
My new hat took some adjusting to get it to fit on my giant head. No, really, I have a giant head. Trust me. Once I got it settled in for the ride, things were cool. Wore shorts and t-shirt.

Naughty Neil:
Today's breakfast wasn't super-terrific but it was what it needed to be due to timing. Did my best to pick the best I could and avoid those yummy, deep-fried hash browns. nom nom nom

Today's Motivation:
A hat. I don't know if that makes me needy. Or weird. Or both. Or cheap. Or something else. But yes, a hat made me run today. Sometimes it's the small stuff.

Treadmill:
Time - 42:41
Distance - 2.0
Incline - 0 to 10 (5 AVG)
Speed - 2.0 to 4.0 (2.9 AVG)
Elevation - 521 feet
Entertainment - LOST - Specifically the Fire + Water episode where Aaron and Claire get baptized after not believing Charlie. I'd say she's nuts but, well, we already know how that turned out.

Splits:
Finish - 42:41

Short Shorty

Just a short run with plenty of walking. Nothing terribly exciting.

Weather:
Indoor temps were about 74F.

Fluids and Fuel:
Coffee before the run. Nothing during the run. Recovery was coffee, 2 eggs, 2 sausage, and 2 toast.

Aches and Pains:
Nothing. Yesterday's headache is gone.

Gear:
Wore shorts and t-shirt.

Treadmill:
Time - 30:02
Distance - 1.1 miles
Incline - 3
Speed - 2.0 to 3.0 (AVG 2.3)
Elevation - 183 feet
Entertainment - LOST

Naughty Neil:
I had the ice cream in my hands last night. Then I put it back in the fridge and had a bowl of cereal instead.

Today's Motivation:
Um, nothing? It was a short run so it was easy to convince myself to do it.

Splits:
Finish - 30:02

Don't Just Talk the Talk

You have to walk the walk.

And yesterday I'd like to think that I did. At least a little bit. I went for my weekly long run and came back feeling good. So I thought I'd try a little experiment and see if my son wanted to take some time and go for a walk. So we headed out to the local trail and explored the planet of Endor. No, it really isn't Endor but that's what we call it because it's pretty swampy nearby. The trail bisects a couple of large swamps so it's fitting that we call it Endor.

Anyway, he was having a rough morning and so I wondered if I could give him a little glimpse of why I enjoy running. I think it worked. By the end of the walk he was feeling better and his mood had improved. I think explaining that his dad is a little weird too and likes to play games with himself while he runs made it easier for him to feel comfortable.

At the very least, if I didn't make a big impact on his future habits, at least we got to spend some time together. I even managed to show him some of the "secrets" of the trail. They really aren't secrets but just well hidden tidbits that most trail users don't know about. But best of all for him, he got to play and explore in the woods. Best of all for me, I snuck in a walking workout of about a mile and a quarter and he didn't seem to mind. Not that he needs exercise but I'll take what I can get.

Unit 421

Yesterday's run was pretty good. Had a few peaks and valleys with energy and for the most part my legs felt like lead weights but I survived to run again another day. Spent most of the run pretending I was some secret agent or security officer running around the woods. Constantly talking to myself and generally just being a complete weirdo. But hey, what else is new.

Photo:
The alligator pond turned green.

Here's the frog that scared me.

Yep, that's a kitchen tile in the middle of the woods.

Vine:
https://vine.co/v/OYIhEuuYUhI


Weather:
Temps were about 45F or so. Wind was moderate to high. Sky was fairly clear with a few clouds.

Fluids and Fuel:
No breakfast but the run was getting close to lunch. Had a cup of coffee before I started. During the run I had a bottle of plain water, two packs of applesauce, and a small bag of pretzels. Recovery was a steak and cheese sub with Hammer Recoverite to drink.

Aches and Pains:
Both legs felt super sluggish, mostly my calves but it was bearable.

Gear:
Wore shorts, pants, thermal top, t-shirt, two BUFFs, and gloves. Also wore my Nathan pack to transport my cameras and wore my new shoes. I ended up naming them YELLAWOLF because I was not going to name them Bumble Bee. So when a frog scared the living shit out of me on the trail, I was headed towards Yella Belly Sap Sucker but that was too long. Then I thought about Yella then I quickly rolled into Yella Wolf. Not to be confused with YelaWolf, even though there's certainly some inspiration there.

Naughty Neil:
Well, I did pretty good during the day. But by dinner time I was starving and ate two helpings of pork, Brussels sprouts, and grilled potatoes. And then I went and had dessert after that. And then a snack.

Today's Motivation:
Mostly I wanted to install my cameras but I also needed some time to get outside and enjoy the woods.

Splits:
Mile 1 - 12:31 (went out way too fast)
Mile 2 - 16:47 (includes time spent installing a camera)
Mile 3 - 15:17
Mile 4 - 14:04
Mile 5 - 16:19 (includes time spent installing a camera)
Mile 6 - 12:40 (tried to finish strong)
Finish - 1:27:39

New Shorts

Almost didn't make today's run due to a last minute emergency run to the grocery store. Well, it wasn't exactly an emergency but it was important enough that I knew I needed to go before dinner. After all, we have trained our children well in being dead-set on what they drink with their meals.

Anyway, that meant I had to postpone the run until lunch-time. Which meant I ended up cutting the run short to get some work done. Which meant instead of the full 70 minute run, I had 50 minutes. But it was better than nothing.

Weather:
Indoor temps were about 74F.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was two slices of toast, two eggs, and two pieces of sausage. Also coffee and a yogurt. During the run I had Hammer Fizz and an applesauce. Recovery was leftover lunch of noodles, corn, and beef. And some marshmallows for dessert.

Aches and Pains:
None.

Gear:
Wore my new North Face shorts. Even though they were a large, they were loose in the crotch (but not enough to chafe). Maybe the wrong things are shrinking.

Naughty Neil:
Ugh. I'd rather not talk about it. Too many snacks at night.

Today's Motivation:
New gear is always a motivation to run. Just wish I had the time to test out my new shoes.

Treadmill:
Time - 49:12
Distance - 2.4 miles
Incline - 3
Speed - 2.0 to 4.5 (AVG 3.0)
Elevation - 387 feet
Entertainment -  The Hunger Games: Catching Fire


Splits:
Finish - 49:12

Pot of Gold

Well, I'm not sure how today's run worked out but I did it. I left a steaming pile of gold in the woods and somehow survived yet again. I'm amazed at how stupid I am sometimes in not going to the bathroom before my run. You'd think that I'd have learned my lesson by now.

Today's lesson began about halfway through my outbound leg. I found the nearest turning point and headed back to the car in an effort to keep things clean but failed to make it. Once relieved of my pot of gold, I continued back to my car where I realized I felt much better and decided to continue my run in the other direction. Which means despite my dumb ass move, I still got my workout in.

Photo:

Weather:
Temps were 45F. Sky was clear. No wind.

Fluids and Fuel:
Had a little coffee before the run. During the run was plain water. Recovery was two eggs, three pieces of sausage, three pieces of toast, and more coffee.

Aches and Pains:
None. Lower right back and left knee are feeling much better.

Gear:
Wore shorts, short sleeve shirt, long sleeve shirt, gloves, and BUFF.

Naughty Neil:
No real weaknesses but my wife did another experiment with bougatsa last night which of course meant I had to test it out. But I only had one bowl of it. I did well with lunch and had a salad and bread. And I failed with getting to bed on time and stayed up working way too late.

Today's Motivation:
No real motivation necessarily, just a desire to get outside and enjoy the 70 degree weather. Guess I was a bit early but still enjoyed it anyway.

Splits:
Start - 3:50
Mile 0.5 - 5:41
Mile 1 - 7:02
Mile 1.5 - 6:29
Mile 2 - 8:56
Mile 2.5 - 7:33
Mile 3 - 7:44
Mile 3.5 - 6:21
End - 3:00
Finish - 56:39

Don't Shift Right On a Treadmill

Even though I knew I needed to keep a straight line on the treadmill, twice I tried to shift right during this morning's run. Those damn zombies were coming at me in the movie and I just moved by instinct. Thankfully I caught myself on the little hand bar before trying to shove myself through the drywall next to me.

The main reason for doing my run today was timing with work. I knew I'd be off work this weekend but that also meant I would have limited time to run this weekend. So instead of doing my scheduled workout, I skipped to the weekend's plan and did that instead. Sorry not sorry Coach. I figured skipping a core workout would have less impact than skipping my long run for the week.

Anyway, I got the run in and finished the movie and started a bit of a new one before finishing up.

Weather:
Indoor temps were about 72F.

Fluids and Fuel:
Had a little coffee and most of a banana before the run. During the run was plain water and an applesauce. Recovery was more coffee and Hammer Recoverite.

Aches and Pains:
None. Felt tired this morning. Tired enough to go back to sleep for an hour but nothing really hurt before, during, or after the run.

Gear:
Wore t-shirt and shorts.

Treadmill:
Time - 80:00
Distance - 3.8 miles
Incline - 3
Speed - 2.0 to 3.5 (AVG 2.9)
Elevation - 605 feet
Entertainment - World War Z and GI Joe Retaliation

Naughty Neil:
I was all set to splurge with a giant snack last night to eat my stress away but somehow didn't. For a change I was distracted by the TV and didn't go back for seconds. I even forgot to get a beer.

Today's Motivation:
Timing. As stated above, I needed to make sure I got this run in before the weekend when I knew I'd be short on time.

Splits:
Finish - 1:20:00

World War Zeke

I wanted to go back to bed, go outside for a run, and eat breakfast all at the same time. Instead I ran on the treadmill and opted to watch World War Z. Running on the treadmill shouldn't be a big shock but my watching that movie was a surprise. I added it to my playlist because it was free but was always reluctant to watch it because, well, it's a scary movie. And I don't do scary movies. I've never enjoyed them. Even when I was in middle school dating a girl that loved them, I would have rather gone the night without some tongue lashing if it meant I could have skipped the scary movie. And if a teenage body full of hormones can't conquer that kind of fear, then nothing can.

But I gave it a shot. And before I knew it, I was 20 minutes into my run. 40 minutes into my run. 65 minutes into my run and almost time to quit. I maintained a decent pace and only got a little spooked during a few scenes. Thankfully I stayed up-right on the treadmill and didn't bob and weave like they did in the movie.

And to set the record straight, yes, the movie is scary. I might even have nightmares tonight. But it's a compelling enough story so far that I actually want to finish it just to see what happens.

Weather:
Indoor temps were about 75F.

Fluids and Fuel:
Had a little coffee before the run. During the run I had an applesauce and plain water. Recovery was a breakfast of two eggs, four sausages, three slices of toast, and coffee.

Aches and Pains:
None. Lower right back is still a bit tweaky, but it's been getting better over the past week or so.

Gear:
Wore t-shirt and shorts.

Treadmill:
Time - 69:17
Distance - 3.4 miles
Incline - 3
Speed - 2.0 to 4.0 (AVG 3.0)
Elevation - 534 feet
Entertainment - World War Z

Naughty Neil:
::sigh:: In a moment of weakness yesterday I went to the local gas station and got a medium coffee (I usually get a large), a hamburger, and churros. I really wanted french fries but didn't get them. At least dinner was healthy as was my late night snack (which I only had one serving of).

Today's Motivation:
Not really sure I had any motivation today. I just went and did what was on my plan without thinking too much about it. I've tried to make a bit of a mental shift on a few things and it seems to be working. So far. Knock on wood.

Splits:
Finish - 1:09:17

White Doe, White Dough

Today's run was satisfying and depressing and fun and pretty much everything under the sun. Because of all the emotions, it was a bit muted in the end.

The highlight of the run was seeing another runner out there enjoying the trail. She pranced along in the other direction like a doe wearing white, dashing between rocks like it was nothing. Meanwhile I felt like a white blob of dough oozing along the trail. Fortune was with me as I saw her a little later in my run and she wasn't exactly prancing. Not that I wish her ill by any means nor that I wish to speak ill of her ability to run, but she looked more like she was running full tilt downhill with arms and legs flailing. After I chuckled to myself, I realized that she was suddenly well ahead of me on the trail and I couldn't catch her even if I was riding a bike.

Photo:

Weather:
Temps were about 40F to 45F. Sky was overcast. Wind was light.

Fluids and Fuel:
Had half a coffee before the run. During the run I had plain water. Recovery was a banana and the rest of my coffee mixed with GenUCAN and Hammer Recoverite.

Aches and Pains:
None really. Chest was a bit tight but I'm chalking that up to the remnants of my sinus infection.

Gear:
Wore shorts, pants, thermal top, long sleeve shirt, vest, gloves, hat, and BUFF.

Naughty Neil:
It's insane how hard it is, but I'm doing my best not to give in to my nightly, mindless snacks as well as my poor eating habits. So I hopefully put a dent in my bad habits over the past few days.

Today's Motivation:
The desire to run outside. That's about all I needed.

Splits:
Mile 1 - 12:25
Mile 2 - 13:19
Mile 3 - 13:01
Mile 4 - 13:18
Finish - 52:05

FughYouMe

I don't know what happened but something went and stopped working. Which means my electrical outlet that powers my treadmill, TV, DVD player, etc. isn't working anymore. No, I didn't blow a fuse. I checked. No, it didn't make a loud popping sound. I listened. No, it didn't smoke. I smelled. I have no idea what it tastes like because I'm not stupid enough to lick the electrical plug.

So I guess I was lucky that everything else still worked so I just used a handy extension cord and continued on with my run. It just meant that instead of trying to watch more BOSCH on Amazon Prime, I watched WranglerStar on YouTube instead.

Weather:
Temps were a balmy 75F.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was two eggs, two slices of toast, and a banana. And two coffees. Lunch was a roast beef sandwich and a small bag of chips and a rice krispie treat. During the run I had an applesauce and iced tea. Recovery was more tea.

Aches and Pains:
Nothing. But I'm fairly confident my wife gave me the sniffles last night as she breathed all over me. I mean, she was sleeping, but she has a tendency to snore or breath in my general direction. Better than a Dutch Oven I guess.

Gear:
I wore shorts and went topless.

Treadmill:
Time - 30:00
Distance - 1.4 miles
Incline - 3
Speed - 2.0 to 5.5 (AVG 3.0)
Elevation - 233 feet
Entertainment - WranglerStar

Naughty Neil:
Damn bag of chips. Nobody else in the house likes this particular flavor which means I'm left holding the bag. Literally. Gah. I hate wasting food. Maybe that's part of why I'm fat.

Today's Motivation:
None really. I just wanted another day where I actually did what was on the plan.

Splits:
Finish - 30:00

The Will to Run

My will to run was greater than expected yesterday. As I crawled out of bed and promptly went back under the covers, I decided to treat myself to some time reading a book. A few minutes later, the power went out. Guess I won't be running on the treadmill. So I got up, filly-farted around a bit, checked the roads outside and sure enough, the ice that was due to come in the afternoon came early. So we were stuck at home due to icy roads and I was stuck without a treadmill to run on. Guess I get a day off. Right?

Wrong. After some time reading, napping, and more napping, the power eventually came back on. My Navy shower was for naught as I finally worked up enough motivation to get my butt on the treadmill for some quality time with Darth Vader. After sweating to the oldies of Star Trek and LOST, I got to 70 minutes and called it quits. I was only a little shy of my goal time but hey, compared to last week's lack of work-outs, I'll consider it a win.

Picture:
I was happy I went over 1,000 feet!

Weather:
Indoor temps were about 80F to 85F. Even with no power we still have heat in the basement. Quite a lot of heat. That sucker will cook you right out of there if you don't turn it down.

Fluids and Fuel:
Breakfast was Pop-Tarts. Four of them. Couldn't really cook anything else and cereal didn't sound appealing. During the run I had Hammer Fizz and an applesauce. Recovery was leftover ground beef, risotto, and peas.

Aches and Pains:
None really. Although my left knee is bugging me a bit the day after.

Gear:
Wore shorts and went topless. Oh, and I wore a headband to catch some sweat. In the end, it just bugged the hell out of my ears.

Treadmill:
Time - 70:35
Distance - 3.1 miles
Incline - 0 to 15 (AVG 7)
Speed - 2.0 to 4.5 (AVG 2.7)
Elevation - 1,004 feet
Entertainment - Star Trek DS9 but mostly LOST

Naughty Neil:
Seems like I've gotten fat again. I clocked in at 239 before breakfast and it pissed me off. I knew my pants were a bit tighter but didn't think much of it. Well shit. Now I'm pissed. I worked hard to get rid of that weight and now it's back. Shit shit shit.

Today's Motivation:
I'd say a third goes to my weigh-in, another third goes to KL, and the last third to Tab. Those last two runners got their workouts in and both mentioned the will to run. Well hell. There's some motivation for ya.

Splits:
Finish - 1:10:35