I'm in a fog. A deep fog. I haven't run in days and I feel like I'm slowly approaching death waiting for the Reaper to swing his scythe around and end it all. But through the fog, I hear the horn. I hear the horn of Dailymile calling to me. My pores scream out in pain from not breaking a sweat. My body craves the endorphins of a long run. My mind needs, absolutely needs, to go for a run.
And so today I'm hoping to make it through the frog in the coming days. I've had good news, even though I'm still overloaded by the bad. To start with, you'll notice that big fat zero over there for my training. That's because I fell. When my exercise ball burst. With me on it. So I fell a solid 2 feet to the floor. On my ass. Without catching myself or rolling away. Which has left me in some pretty damn good pain. Like up to a 9 out of 10 when it happened. Thinking I broke my tail bone, I went to the doctor. After a solid round of x-rays, the results are in. No break. The only anomalies were a button from my shirt and "minimal anterior endplate osteophyte formation at the inferior endplates of L1." Whatever the hell that means. So even though the pain has dropped down to a 3 out of 10, there's no break. Good news out of the bad news.
In other good news, my wife will be teacher to Stephanie B.'s youngster (from Dailymile). Not sure I like having people know me (long story), but I'm glad they can all talk about me and how crazy I am. My wife will also be teaching the son of an old childhood friend. I started kindergarten with him and now his son is in my wife's 1st grade class. Neat that we live in such a small world.
Back to more bad news, my injury has left me without the drive to run. Instead, I'm confused about everything. But I'm making headway into my own head and hoping to get back in the saddle. But without sitting down because my ass still hurts like hell.
So I'm hoping this is a bit of a re-birth of sorts. I've gotten rid of the mohawk and I'm hoping to make this my new start. A rebirth if you will. I've been trying and trying to make so many changes for the better and I can only hope this will be my launching point for getting things nailed down and focused on where I need and want to be.
I have a lot of big races on my calendar and I may have to drop them. Once I was able to come to terms with that, I was able to move on to the next step of recovering. I don't want to drop from these races, but I think I can live with myself if I had to.