Monday, November 12, 2012

Podcast - Mile 46 - Self Abuse

As I drove to my 12 hour race a week after my first 100k, I suddenly found my car making the turn for my home for 5 short years of my life. Edinboro, PA. It's one of the few places in the world that I've felt connected to and I know it has nothing to do with location and everything to do with the people I lived there with. Sadly, I rarely talk to those I knew then. We've all grown older and grown apart. The only person I talk to daily is my wife. We met there freshman year and have gone through a lot together. A lot of that "a lot" was in Edinboro.

So as I suddenly found myself driving through the streets of a small town (I'm talking 4 stop lights here folks - four stoplights), I decided to record a bit for a future podcast. It was depressing. You probably can't hear it coming through, but I felt it. There were times I just wanted to stop the car and cry. I wanted to turn the clock back all those years and go back to my dorm room.

I couldn't though. Not only have I changed but the campus has changed. There were bits and pieces that I recognized but it's like looking at a picture of your parents from when they were teenagers. You can see certain facial features that look familiar but it's just not the same.

In the end, I gave myself a pretty hefty case of "the good old days" and felt down for a good long while. I can't wait for my kids to go to college so I can live vicariously through them. I can only hope they make better decisions that I did.

You can look up my kilt on Podbean or download directly here.

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