Thursday, May 21, 2009

Chicken Sh*t

First, a joke. Guess what?!

Chicken butt!!

Which brings us to chicken sh*t. And another joke. What's the white stuff in chicken sh*t?

Chicken sh*t.

Actually it's uric acid, but that's not as funny. Where is all of this going? To the birds. As in the birds around our house. In the past month, I've had two nearly hit me. And no, they weren't dropping letters or presents like they do in Harry Potter, this was bird sh*t. And both times they were easily within ten feet of me.

And to top that off, we've found evidence that they've been practicing their dive-bombing skills. I mean, how can you get bird sh*t on the side of a tire? Or the inside of a car door handle? Or the side of the house? I mean, it's like they're taking physics classes or something.

So there you have it, the straight poop on the poop around our house. I'm sure the birds will continue to cause a flap around here with all the sh*t they've been dropping. Let's just hope they stay away from the fans.


1979 semi-finalist said...

This sucks. Though if you get hit you should buy a lottery ticket or head to Atlantic City as they say it's a good luck to get shit on by a bird. You must be drowning in luck :)

Also, is it a coincidence that you've got bird problems and Paul's writing stories about birds? Hmmm. Seems awfully convenient...I'd investigate.

TK42ONE said...

Even funnier is last night the news was talking about bird sh*t facials. That's right, the nightinggale poops, the poop is collected and "sanitized," and the poop is applied to your face.

Why not put bird seed on your face and let them poop on you for free?