Respect and thank your barber - he holds a razor near your throat.
Never trust the scale in the bathroom - it lies.
Never look bored at work - you will soon be too busy to be bored.
Kids are smarter than they look - if you listen to them long enough, you might learn something.
Go visit Unidentified Family Objects - because I said so, that's why.
I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay... But be warned. I run like a Lumberjack, drink like a horse, sweat like a pig, swim like a gorilla, spit like a camel, and swear like a sailor. I'm also a full-time #housespouse that creates videos and writes articles.
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