Today was one of those days that I will hopefully remember for a while. It wasn't a huge day. NO major announcements. No good news or bad news. Just an undercurrent, a buzz, that went through the background of my brain for most of the day. I got a little nervous here and there but generally just pushed it aside. When I thought long and hard about the risks involved, I was able to give those nerves a solid shove.
In a good way.
As the title implies, I'm being vague about things. After taking one too many trips to Human Resources, I've seriously curtailed the content here and elsewhere. I'm now very close to the point of just not giving a rip. But that will come in due time.
Today's update is a step beyond vague because the feelings were, well, hard to latch on to. They were good feelings so that's at least semi-easy to clarify. Even as I drove to work this morning, I had these little epiphanies going off in my head like a really small fireworks display. Thoughts bursting here and there. I only managed to capture a few of them.
But like fireworks, even capturing them on film, or words in this case, doesn't do them justice. You can take thousands of photos in DC during the Fourth of July but you don't really capture the vibe of what it felt like to be there. You can take thousands of photos of the Grand Canyon, but until you go there, it's hard to capture the essence of how big it really is.
But like any photographer though, or writer, I'm going to try to capture today with a few images.
I sat through an orientation session and learned a lot. I was a little surprised that I didn't know some of what was there. President's nearly died. Planes landed where houses stand now. Computer programs were infected with "bugs" for the first time. As I sat at the desk, I gave all the wrong answers. And it felt great to be so open and honest and have the choice to say yes or no.
This is my mid-life crisis but I see it as a change and not a crisis. A change for the better. Like a moth leaving the cocoon or a Phoenix rising from the ashes, I want to be better. Stronger. I want to do the right thing. I want to do what's best for me. Do what's best for my family. Do what's best for the world by making a contribution that's more meaningful. I want the freedom to create. I want the freedom to do what I want to do. As I near 40 years in this life, as I get closer to this mid-life crisis, I feel that I've earned the right to do what I want.
And this is what I want.
In a good way.
As the title implies, I'm being vague about things. After taking one too many trips to Human Resources, I've seriously curtailed the content here and elsewhere. I'm now very close to the point of just not giving a rip. But that will come in due time.
Today's update is a step beyond vague because the feelings were, well, hard to latch on to. They were good feelings so that's at least semi-easy to clarify. Even as I drove to work this morning, I had these little epiphanies going off in my head like a really small fireworks display. Thoughts bursting here and there. I only managed to capture a few of them.
But like fireworks, even capturing them on film, or words in this case, doesn't do them justice. You can take thousands of photos in DC during the Fourth of July but you don't really capture the vibe of what it felt like to be there. You can take thousands of photos of the Grand Canyon, but until you go there, it's hard to capture the essence of how big it really is.
But like any photographer though, or writer, I'm going to try to capture today with a few images.
I sat through an orientation session and learned a lot. I was a little surprised that I didn't know some of what was there. President's nearly died. Planes landed where houses stand now. Computer programs were infected with "bugs" for the first time. As I sat at the desk, I gave all the wrong answers. And it felt great to be so open and honest and have the choice to say yes or no.
This is my mid-life crisis but I see it as a change and not a crisis. A change for the better. Like a moth leaving the cocoon or a Phoenix rising from the ashes, I want to be better. Stronger. I want to do the right thing. I want to do what's best for me. Do what's best for my family. Do what's best for the world by making a contribution that's more meaningful. I want the freedom to create. I want the freedom to do what I want to do. As I near 40 years in this life, as I get closer to this mid-life crisis, I feel that I've earned the right to do what I want.
And this is what I want.
